Page 7 of Never Kiss and Tell

“I don’t know,” I muse. “Doyouknow what pleases you?”

His eyes narrow on me, calculating. “Unobtainable dreams, apparently.”

A weight settles on my chest. Christian and I have been here before. He must notice my discomfort, because his tone softens.

“I’m not trying to push you. Just as long as you know that I’m here for you.”

Isn’t that what they all say?I’ll be here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or a dick to ride after your break-up.

“You weren’t there for me last week,” I point out, despite my cheeks burning like I’ve touched down on the center of the sun.

“You were drunk, Bailey. You think I want to waste my shot while you can’t even walk straight?”

Embarrassment floods through me and I’m thankful to see Mom’s neighborhood come into view. I’ve been living here since Drew and I split and though it’s not ideal, there’s a bedroom inside where I can lock myself in, away from my mother’s passive aggressive comments, Mila’s drama, and Savannah’s attitude . . . away from Christian’s prying eyes.

“You can let me off here,” I say, pulling on the handle. It’s locked, of course. All Marcus’s cars are fitted with a child lock that only allows the driver’s door to be opened when the car is moving. So much for throwing myself into traffic on the highway.

“You’re getting out?” Christian accuses, his eyes narrowing on me. Nevertheless, he pulls to a stop at the curb.

“I just . . . need to walk. Thank you for the ride.” I shut the door a little too hard behind me and tug my purse up my arm. Living with Mom does have one perk — the beach is only eighty-seven steps away.

I pull my sandals off and walk through the warm sand. It’s May and the water isn’t quite warm enough to swim in yet, but that doesn’t stop me from letting it course through my toes, justonce, before hopping out of its path.

I watch a seagull swoop and scoop something out of the sand before carrying it off into the trees. I’ve always envied birds. They can go wherever they want, eat whatever they want, fly above the city and shit on anyone’s head that they want . . . I always thought that if reincarnation were real, I’d be a bird in my next life.

Knowing my poor luck, I would end up as a sand worm and eventually birdshit.

I plop down in the sand and lay back, closing my eyes against the sun.

What pleases me?

Well, this warm sand definitely pleases me, but how does that fit into my everyday life? Surely sand isn’t what Kenya meant when she told me to find what makes me happy.

My family makes me happy, despite their flaws. Well, most of the time. My friends make me happy. Andi, my closest friend in the world makes me happy, even though she lives on the opposite side of the country in New Orleans.

I wish I could say Christian makes me happy. It would be so easy to fall in love with him. His handsome face, green eyes, and that single dimple in his cheek could make the queen swoon. He’s always there for me. Hecaresand that’s hard to come by in a world that likes to ball gag you and leave you chained to a bed.

But there’s just no . . . spark. You know, the little foot pop that Mia talks about inPrincess Diaries?Iwantthat. I want to swoon. I want to feel like I’m floating on air. I never felt that with any of my boyfriends, let alone Drew, who I was almostmarried to.

Kenya once told me love is blind, meaning you can’t see a person’s flaws when you’re in love with them. I like to think it means that you don’t know you’re in love until it happens. Once it does, there’s nothing that could tear you apart.

What I felt with Drew wasn’t love. It crumbled so easily under the guise of basic relationship struggles. Ours just so happened to be named Samantha and sported long tan legs and perky breasts.

I’m almost asleep on the sand, thinking about my woes, when something warm and wet falls from the sky and lands on my forehead.

Tentatively, I reach up and wipe at the spot, pulling back a hand of bird poop. The seagull I had just watched a moment ago had shit on me.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He flies away, chirping like he’s laughing at me.

If a bird poops on you, it brings good luck.My grannie’s voice drifts back to me from my childhood memories. She also told me butter would soothe a burn and I have yet to find that to be true.

Let’s just hope she got it right this time.

Dinner is a tense affair with Savannah bringing her new boyfriend, Spike — yes, Spike. At twenty-one, she’s going through an all-black clothing phase that catapults her directly into the arms of the closest loser, who wears spiked collars thatsaymeowin big, bold letters. Mom is beside herself, muttering under her breath that all of her daughters are losing their minds. I agree with her about Savannah, especially whenSpikeleans over during dinner and bites her lip like some sort of feral cat.

Guess his collar makes sense.

Marcus, unfortunately, is not present because he’s halfway across the country handling some high-profile celebrity case — one he wouldn’t offer any details about. The nice thing about having Marcus around at dinner time is that he fills the awkward silence with stories about his career. With your stepdad being a celebrity lawyer, you often learn small tidbits of gossip no one else is privy to.

---