Page 129 of Never Kiss and Tell

She shrugs. “I was for a moment, but . . .” she sighs. “Then I saw you two together and the way he looks at you and I was relieved.”

“Relieved how?”

She’s quiet for a moment, thinking. “Both of you need someone. I never thought it would be each other, but seeing the look in both of you . . .” she stops for a second, fanning her face when tears well in her eyes. “Makes me wonder if I’m doing something wrong in my relationship.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.” I shake my head. “It’s just a fling. Some fun while I’m in town. There isn’t a long-term. No wedding.”

Unease prickles up my spine. I know I’m lying. I broke my cardinal rule. No feelings. I want to tell Andi how I’m feeling, but I can’t spoil her big day. Sad or not, the show must go on.

“Now,” I say, closing my eyes so Catrice can finish. “No crying or you’ll ruin your makeup.”

“You look so beautiful!” Kendra gushes, tears in her eyes. She inspects Andi from head to toe, looking for even a microscopic speck out of line. It’s sweet that Andi has her. I know how much it’s bothering her that her mom isn’t here with her on her wedding day, but she handles it with grace, hugging Kendra fiercely.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Charles asks, lookinghandsome in his suit. He cleans up well and he looks every bit of an older version of Charlie — someone I haven’t seen yet.

This is the longest I’ve gone without talking to him in weeks and it’s starting to set me on edge against my will. I miss him, as much as it pains me to say it. How do you go from hating someone to feeling like you’re losing your mind without them in the course of a couple weeks?

“God, Dad, yes. I’m sure,” Andi rolls her eyes and hugs him. I can see his eyes glisten when he pulls away, whispers something in her ear, and then places a kiss on her cheek. A pang hits me in the chest, remembering my own dad. I imagine he would have been the same on my wedding day. One thing’s for certain, he definitely wouldn’t have liked Drew. Dad would have killed him if he was alive.

A throat clears behind me and I jump, a burst of energy radiating through my skin so strong that it almost hurts.

“You look beautiful,” Charlie murmurs, his face guarded as he steps up in front of me.

I blush and smile softly. I feel like I can relax, like that spare piece of me has been returned after going missing. I feel whole . . . but also sick to my stomach.

This is going to end. Tonight. I fly back tomorrow and I can’t take him with me. Charlie and I had a fun couple of weeks. We got impossibly close, too close for comfort, even. My heart knows what it wants, but my head knows that can’t happen. He doesn’t want the things that I do and I can’t wait around for a man to decide I’m enough again.

“Thank you,” I whisper, my voice sounding too giddy, even to my ears. “You look okay, I guess.”

He chuckles and takes my face in his hands, kissing me on the lips until the room sways around me. When he releases me, I’m out of breath and hot, like I had just run a marathon in the summer sun.

“Listen,” Andi snaps, waving us over to where we’re supposed to line up. “You guys can get a room later, but right now, I’m getting married and I feel like I’m going to shit myself I’m so scared.”

I laugh and pull Charlie along to our places and slip my arm through his. One last day.

Better make it the best yet.

Charlie

Weddings have always been akin to funerals in my book. Two people signing their lives away who probably don’t even like each other. I always thought it was fucking stupid to put yourself through a life full of misery, boring sex, and bickering over money, just because you care about someone a little more than anyone else.

I was dead fucking wrong.

Now, I can’t help but envy Tom and Andi for being able to say what they’re feeling. I can’t even figure it out. Do I love Bailey? Fuck, I don’t know. What does love even feel like? Is it this desperation I keep feeling? The swimming in my stomach when I look at her and catch her smiling? The fucking panic I felt when I woke up today and she wasn’t in bed with me?

Yeah. I’m fucking in love with her.

God, I’m a fucking pussy. I knew I should have stayed away from her. I should have let her live her white picket fence fantasy in Malibu and avoided her. Maybe then I wouldn’t feelso goddamned lousy, knowing I have to let her go.

She cares for me, but there’s no fucking way she’s in love with me. It’s too soon. For her, this started a couple weeks ago. For me, it’s been steadily building since I met her in that dingy lighthouse in Malibu.

Tomorrow she’ll go back to Illinois and resume her life. I’ll be a blip on her timeline. A couple weeks of fun, no strings attached. At least, on her end.

I thought about asking her to stay for a couple weeks, but what good does that do? Prolong the inevitable until she resents me for making her feel the exact things she told me she didn’t want? I’d make her fucking hate me, just like Priscilla when I wouldn’t propose. Only, the one thing I couldn’t give Priscilla is the only thing I want to give Bailey.

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