Page 177 of Never Fall for an Angel

I should stop. The fear in her eyes is like a branding iron on my skin. I fucking can’t, though. I’m too pissed off.

“I’m sorry,” she breathes, voice high-pitched with terror.

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

She’s silent for a moment, and I watch all five stages of grief cross her delicate features before she finally speaks.

“I was alone—”

“You had me,” I growl.

She narrows her gaze on me, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Did I, Christian? Because it’s looking a lot like I spent the last three weeks wondering if you were alive or dead.”

“Back to feeling sorry for ourselves, are we?”

“Feelingsorryfor myself?” she snaps, her gaze shining with unshed tears. “I just found out the person I trusted more than anyone else in the worldtrickedme into marrying him.Then, he disappears for three weeks with no word of where he’s gone while his ex parades around telling stories about their time together. My stepfather was trying to sell, and you knew about it the whole time. Oh, and let’s not forget, your brother the psycho murderer raped and beat me half to death. And you think I’m feelingsorryfor myself?”

“I came back,” I grit, but she shakes her head, a tear slipping down her cheek.

That single tear may as well be a fucking nuke with the rage that burns in my veins.

I did this. I fucked up again.

“That’s not always enough, Christian,” she growls. “The first time you left for three months. This time, it was three weeks. What’s it going to be next time? Three days? Three years?”

After almost a month of fucking missing her. Of thinking of all the ways, I’d apologize if I could. Of being beaten and battered dreaming of her, my temper finally snaps at arguably the worst moment it could.

“What do you want, then, Mila?” I bark, my voice louder than it’s ever been with her. She falls back a step, her eyes going wide through the tears swimming in her gaze. “You want an annulment? Want a divorce?”

She looks at me like I’ve slapped her. Like she finally sees the monster, I am underneath it all.

My brain registers that I should stop. My heart figures this out, too.

My mouth says burn it all to the fucking ground.

“What?” she asks softly, hurt in those fucking eyes that stay burned into my brain. “You want . . .”

All I want to do is throw her over my shoulder and haul her to bed, spend a few days showing her exactly how much I fucking missed her, but I know I can’t. Not here and not when she could barely look at me when I left.

We have so much shit to work out between us; it feels like we’re running in place. Collin’s words replay over and over in my head, reminding me that I’m just one more fuck-up away from possibly losing her forever.

How the fuck am I supposed to keep her and not steal her light? That light that drew me to her in the first place. Her soft, gentle heart and her childlike wonder of the world around her.

I’m too fucking damaged, too dark, and there’s no doubt in my mind she was handcrafted to ruin me.

I shrug, chuckling dryly. “If you’re so fucking miserable, you can’t go a few more months without speaking to your family. Without putting fuckingeveryonein danger, including yourself, then go.” I nod to the door, knowing that even as I say it, I’m destroying what little common ground we managed to find last night. “Go, Mila.”

“Stop,” she whispers, closing her eyes. Tears slip down her cheeks, and I know I should stop. I’m only killing us both, but deep down, I fucking know Collin’s right.

I’m going to ruin her.

“If you can’t feel my heart and know that you are the only fucking thing that kept me alive the last three weeks, then you’re free to leave.” My chest heaves with each breath, my hands shaking. “This time . . . I won’t chase you.”

She lets out a quiet sob, but I can’t stay and watch her break down because of me. I’m a fucking coward because knowingshe’s in pain, all I want to do is pull her into me and beg her to let me try again, but I know it will only make it worse.

So now that her soft heart’s effectively shattered at my feet, I turn around and leave.

---