Page 138 of Never Fall for an Angel

“I trusted you,” I breathe.

“You can’t do it, can you?” he rasps, pressing harder against the end of the barrel until I stumble backward, my sneakers slipping in the wet grass.

Christian doesn’t care. He’s too far gone.

“You can lie to everyone else, Mila. You can even lie to yourself . . . deep down, there’s a part of you that fuckingknowsI’d chop off my own dick before I’d ever hurt you. I can’t fucking do it.”

“That’s not true.” I shake my head, but he cuts me off with a quiet chuckle.

“You think I left you because I had a choice? Because I wanted to?”

A shiver rolls through me at the air of a threat in his tone. Or maybe it’s the way his eyes lock onto mine, and they don’t leave. He could take the gun from me, and I’d be dead in the blink of an eye. Still, he’d rather I make the choice.

“I hate you . . .” I whisper, blinking back the tears in my eyes. I shouldn’t have. It only makes it easier to see the ruin in his eyes, and my heart aches uncomfortably.

“Then pull the trigger. End it. You think I had something to do with that? I’m better off dead, anyways.”

Something in me breaks, and I screw my eyes shut at the onslaught of the voices, overpowering every one of my senses.

How’s it feel to be used like the worthless slut you are?

Smile for the camera, little whore. Show everyone how much you fucking love this.

Everything goes silent when I turn the gun on myself.

The cold steel against the side of my head should terrify me, but right now, it’s like holding a Hail Mary in the palm of my hand. A last chance to get out of this nightmare once and for all.

Christian’s eyes follow the movement of my finger.

“I don’t want to remember anymore.” The sob that rips from my throat is painful, stealing my breath and making me tremble.

“Mila . . .” Christian’s voice is tight with blackness. So cold it would freeze hell over. “Look at me.”

I keep my eyes screwed shut, clenching my teeth as the tears spill from the corners of my eyes.

“Look at me, Mila,” Christian orders, and I blink my eyes, forcing myself to meet his gaze through my tear-stricken one. His presence is overbearing, forcing me out of my own darkness to meethis. “Is he here right now? Is he in control of you?”

I shake my head, a sob breaking from my lips. “It’s not that simple.”

“It is, Mila. You’re the bravest fucking woman I know—”

“I’m not—”

“You are,” he grits.

I don’t want to listen to him. I don’t want to hear him tell me I’m strong. A fighter. That’s what everyone says, and it’s never been true before. It’s not now.

“You want to hate me, go ahead, but don’t be a fucking coward.”

I grit my teeth, my mind screaming at me to do it. Pull the trigger, and the voices will stop. Shut them up for good.

“Please?”

It’s silent. So silent, I barely hear it, but when my eyes open again, Christian’s mask has slipped, and it’s not just the anger I see in his gaze.

It’s desperation. Helplessness.

The gun slips from my fingers, falling to the grass with a deafening thud.

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