Page 46 of Rogue’s Reckoning

Helena: Wren and Tamara are having a great time. Have a great evening, Willow, and we’ll see you tomorrow.

“Shit, I have to go. Wren wants to come home,” I lie as I rise to my feet. I need to get out of here. It feels like the walls are closing in on me. I need space. I need to breathe. “Thanks for the drink, Nat. I’ll speak to you soon.”

As soon as I'm out of Nat's house, I lean against the wall, trying to catch my breath. Ghost—the Saints Outlaws—Rogue. God, it's all coming back—the pain, the fear, the betrayal. Memories I've tried so hard to bury are resurfacing with a vengeance, threatening to send me into a tailspin. I can feel the panic attack rising. I need to get home.

I make it to my car and sit there for a long moment, gripping the steering wheel tightly. What am I going to do? Nat is dating a member of the motorcycle club that tortured me. The same motorcycle club that Ezra, Wren's father, belongs to.

My mind races. Should I tell Nat the truth? But that would mean revealing what the Saint’s Outlaws did to me. Nat knows the majority of it, though she doesn’t know the name of the motorcycle club. I couldn’t bring myself to say the name out loud. What if Ghost recognizes my name? What if he tells Ezra? What if Ezra wants my daughter?

The thought of Ezra finding out about Wren sends a chill down my spine. No. I can't let that happen. I won't let him anywhere near our daughter.

I start the car, my hands shaking. I need to think, to plan. As I drive home, I make a decision. I won't tell Nat the truth, not yet. But I'll have to be careful. I'll need to avoid any situation where I might run into Ghost or any other members of the Saints Outlaws.

And if worst comes to worst... we'll leave. Again. I've done it before, I can do it again. I'll do whatever it takes to protect Wren.

When I get home, I collapse onto the couch, the weight of everything crashing down on me. I thought I was past this, that I had moved on. But now, it feels like the past five years have been wiped away, and I'm right back where I started— scared, alone, and running from my past.

I close my eyes, taking deep breaths to calm myself. One day at a time, I remind myself. That's how I've gotten through everything so far. One day at a time.

Three days have passedsince I learned about Natalia's relationship with Ghost, and I'm still reeling. Every night, I wake up in a cold sweat, nightmares of Rogue and the Saints Outlaws flooding my mind. In my dreams, they find me, find Wren. I see Rogue's cold eyes as he takes our daughter away, and I'm powerless to stop him.

I've been going through the motions, trying to keep things normal for Wren's sake. But inside, I'm a mess of fear and anxiety. The panic attacks I thought I'd left behind have returned with a vengeance. Sometimes, it's all I can do to breathe through them and not let Wren see how scared I am.

As I watch Wren play with her dolls, blissfully unaware of the fear and pain inside me, I can't help but think about what might happen if Rogue finds out about her. Would he try to take her away? The thought of Wren anywhere near that life, near the violence and danger of the Saints Outlaws, makes me physically ill.

But it's not just Rogue and the Saints that I'm worried about. The knowledge that Natalia is dating Ghost has brought all my old fears rushing back. What if Lochlann finds out I'm back in Boston? What if my family, who I haven't spoken to in five years, somehow learns where I am?

I've spent the last few days thinking about what needs to happen, weighing our options. Part of me wants to run again, to pack up our lives and disappear. But I look at Wren, at how happy she is here, how well she's settling into her new school, and I hesitate. Is it fair to uproot her again because of my fears?

Then there's Natalia. She's been my rock for so long, my family when I had no one else. The thought of leaving her behind, especially now that she's found happiness with Ghost, breaks my heart. But how can I stay, knowing that every day brings the risk of my past catching up with me?

I've been avoiding Natalia's calls, making excuses about being busy with work. I know I can't keep this up forever, but I'm terrified of facing her. What if the Saints Outlaws hurt me again? Or worse, hurt Wren?

As night falls and I tuck Wren into bed, I sit on the edge of her bed, watching her peaceful face as she drifts off to sleep. I brush a curl from her forehead. She looks so much like Rogue. It's both a blessing and a curse—I see the man I once loved in her features, but I also see the man who stood by and let me be tortured.

"I'll keep you safe, Little Bird," I whisper, kissing her forehead.

Back in the living room, I curl up on the couch, wrapping myself in a blanket as I try to quiet my racing thoughts. I know I need to make a decision, and soon. Every day that passes is another day that someone could recognize me, could connect the dots between me and Wren.

My phone buzzes with another text from Natalia:

Willow, can we please talk?

I stare at the message, guilt gnawing at me. Natalia deserves better than this. She's been nothing but kind and supportive, and here I am, shutting her out because I'm too scared to face the truth.

With shaking hands, I type out a reply:

Me: I'm sorry, Nat. Can you come over tomorrow night after Wren's in bed?

Her response is almost immediate:

Of course. I'll be there at 8. Love you xxx

I put the phone down, my heart racing. She knows everything. Every painful memory, Nat knows it all. She’s in love with Ghost, and I would never ruin that for her, but the two of them being together means there’s a risk that the Saint’s Outlaws could find out about Wren.

As I lay in bed that night, sleep eludes me. My mind keeps conjuring worst-case scenarios—Rogue showing up at our door, Lochlann finding us, my parents trying to take Wren away. I know some of these fears are irrational, but after everything I've been through, it's hard to separate the real threats from the imagined ones.

Morning comes too soon after a night filled with restless sleep. I drag myself out of bed, putting on a brave face for Wren.

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