“And part of it is because I’m a fairy.” He hurried on when I frowned. “We cheat, Sera. I don’t watch my words around fairies because they feel my emotions. A fairy would have known I was self-hating when I said that. They would have known that I was upset with myself, not being manipulative. I’m a fool for not understanding that because all I’ve known—”
“Is how to be around fairies,” I whispered, getting something big Laila and even Maya had tried to tell me.
“Yes, yes, I didn’t—I’m so sorry I hurt you in this way. I did not see it. I did not understand what people were trying to tellme.” He snorted. “They were always so hostile and snarky too. Plus, I am so jealous of them and want more of you—all of you.” He blinked up at me as more tears fell. “I am not a good person. I am…”
“You are the one who always pushed me to take more love,” I hedged, confused. “A lot of this is confusing and you never let me in. You canshow meso much but—”
“You will leave me!” he bellowed, startling me since he never yelled like that. He slammed his fists on the ground as he yelled that he would lose me if he showed me the truth.
My shock kept me from reacting faster, but then I grabbed his wrists and made him stop. I shook him until he looked at me. “Why won’t you have faith inmethat I can loveyou?I won’t leave. I won’t leave no matter what you show me, Dain.”
“You will.”
“Fucking fight with me or I’m done!” I screamed. “I show youeverything. What have I done to make you think I would lie to you? You would never hurt Topher. You would never do anything that would be a line for me to leave. Clearly, you don’t know me as well as you fucking say, so it’s my turn to be the boss. I let you be the boss when I was drowning—trust me this time!”
He let out a shaky breath. “I understand it’s toxic to say this, but I still have to. I will die if I show you and you leave me. If I lose you because I’m so broken—I can’t continue on.”
He didn’t give me a chance to respond, using his magic to show me what I’d been begging him to.
Namely, the real Dain I’d only had glimpses of.
He showed me the day he’d found me here falling over into the abyss. How happy he was that the twins had fucked up so badly that now he had a chance to have me for himself. How he had every excuse to be closer to me and become the one I loved most. I had need for him, and he could show me that he was the man I wanted in my life.
Yeah, it wasn’t exactly the most emotionally healthy mindset but… Understandable. We all had those sorts of thoughts.
The important part?
He’d already been in love with me then.
Even better?
He saw me. He saw me way better than I’d even originally thought.
“I’m not leaving, you fool,” I rasped.
“But I—”
“I’m not leaving!” I yelled and bopped him on the forehead with the heel of my hand. Then I grabbed his arms and shook him. “Do you love me right now? Do you want us to be married? Have ahealthymarriage and—”
He cupped my face and kissed me. It was the softest kiss he maybe ever gave me and I felt his tears on my cheeks. “All I want—all I have ever wanted was you, Sera. I have been waiting for hundreds of years for you to find me and save me from the hell that was my life. I never thought I could find a love like you.” He let out a shaky breath. “And you gave me the greatest joy.”
Topher. Dainlovedbeing a father in a way he would never have thought. I understood that.
Hell, I felt it some days.
Most days it still scared the shit out of me, and I still didn’t think I could have children of my own. I did see that changing now at least… But another issue for another time.
“Then promise me from this moment we are the team. You won’t be my dad or older brother. You willtrust mewhen I say what I need or want. I need you to be on my team, Dain. That’s the only way we can move forward.” I knew what I was going to say was toxic this time, but it was how I really felt. “And I need you to really do it this time.
“I can’t give you another chance after this—not for this same mistake. I can’t keep grieving you. I die more each time. I won’tbe Sera anymore if I keep having to forgive you for this and try again. Please.Please, love me enough to find me again and be on my team, not the leader or boss. Not the mistake or problem you have to manage because you married me too fast.”
He hugged me and we cried together. Quietly and while clinging to each other as if we knew we wouldn’t survive the next moments if we let go.
“I will. I will, my love,” he whispered over and over again. He switched to the language of his people, and I had no idea what he was saying, but I also got the basic gist.
It took several minutes for us to get under control, but then I wanted out of that place. I needed to stop looking back and longing for when things were simpler.
Simpler wasn’t better and my life was full oflifenow, not simply doing what needed to be done. At least most days.