Page 51 of Princess For All

“I keep wanting to act out,” I confessed when Kristof went back to the corner to look over stuff. “Do crazy things and start trouble in my own life and—I hate all of the drama and—why would I do that? The drama breaks me, so why would I—what is wrong with me?”

“Nothing,” she said firmly. She nodded when I looked at her like she was crazy. “Inez, that’s a completely normal response to yourtrauma. Fuck, traumas as in several, and I’m in awe you keep moving and only took one bum day which you need more of and was a very healthy move. If you need to act out a bit and do something stupid—do it.”

“I’m making problems for me later,” I worried.

And I shot a worried look at Kristof which he didn’t catch.

But Vanessa did. “You’re not hurting yourself physically, right?” She looked relieved when I shook my head. “You’re not physically hurting people?” Again, I shook my head. She let out a long breath and leaned forward so her forearms were resting on her knees. “Do I recommend you throwing grenades in your life? No, of course not.

“I’m not a sociopath. It’s normal. It’s expected. I’m here to try and recommend other options for you to handle these common urges before it becomes too destructive. I don’t want you lashing out. If you have a weekend of sex and drinking—normal. Even sleeping with someone you shouldn’t. I would say try to do things that get anger out to try and—”

“Preemptively,” I muttered, getting where she was going. I nodded when she did. “Trisha and my female knights tried making me go jogging before, but—you’ve seen it. Everything goes to shit so fucking fast. The twins and others were working with me on training. Cerdic too. It’s just…” I blew out a harsh breath. “It’s the fucking apocalypse.”

“It is, but you’re not the only one who needs these outlets. And I suggestfast, because as people aren’t constantly scared for their lives and on edge every second of every day, they’re going to start acting out too. Validly after what they’ve been through. I’m amazed Albuquerque hasn’t seen a lot of fights and brawls.”

“We didn’t bring the problems but yes, we’ve been waiting for it too because everyone is too close to ‘popping’ as several said,” Kristof interjected. “We don’t know how to handle the situation. Any advice would be welcome.”

“You’ve done an amazing job getting back what they’ve lost from food to necessities and convenience. Whoever came up with the drive-in Friday night movie night is a genius. It’s helped. But you need to get theaggressionout.”

“In your perfect world, how would that look?” I shrugged when she raised an eyebrow. “Everyone doesn’t want to play with a sniper rifle and shoot corrupted.”

“No, but even I want to fucking shoot a whole lot of them and I’m not good with guns. I wouldlovesomeone to let me shoot them like fish in a barrel for what I’ve lost—who I’ve lost. Let me get one time to just—please.”

I felt for her when she sniffled and looked away.

“We could do that,” Kristof muttered. “Set up guns and have help—like the bridge situation in Alaska but not so crazy. Set schedules and let—we could make that work once we’ve got more handled with the coven.”

“What else?” I asked Vanessa. “Some won’t want to.”

She considered that. “Something like destruction rooms. You can destroy things into energy beads anyways, right? Take a bunch of us to a parking garage and let us get it out with sledgehammers. Fuck, that sounds nice. I just—I’m not a violent woman, but my kickboxing class used to keep me sane. We need that type of release.”

“Before people start letting it out on each other,” I finished for her, understanding that was the rest of that sentence if she took the thought all of the way.

She nodded, not denying it. It was good feedback to hear.

I finished my hour and a half session, and then we talked to her for another hour about her new role. All of the medical personnel had been pulled out of all the human settlements and put into special housing. So that was helpful, and they were able to trade notes on what they needed and especially what they were looking for in help.

Perfect. Hopefully, that would get us to a more efficient place.

13

Things got better with Darius and James because of my helicopter lessons. It was something Darius and I both enjoyed and the time off the ground to check things out and the progress was really helping us. The progress in Albuquerque alone was astounding. Over half of the city and suburbs were gone, completely turned into energy beads.

But in a good way. It was buildings we wouldn’t need. Crap that was falling apart after years of neglect or destroyed fighting corrupted. Houses that were junk and—what should go.

Same with New Orleans.

Seattle.

Boston.

Salt Lake City.

All over. It was all over. I was seeing the progress from a different perspective, and it was so noticeable that each time I felt more tension ease. Vanessa said it was healthy for me too.

So was my insistence that she sit down with everyone who resided at the castle. At least for one session. I wasn’t going to force anyone to have therapy, but I should know if anyone was a walking red flag that was around me or my loved ones. For security at least. I was glad when everyone seemed on board with that.

Especially when Hope practically did cartwheels at the idea.

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