Page 48 of Princess For All

I nodded that I heard him and watched the apology. Instantly, I knew what had made an impact with Kristof. It was the way James talked about his place in life and how it was never framed to him as a belief or view but law—how everyone felt. And he’d had to almost flee his family to learn his own mind.

Yeah, Kristof would understand that more than most.

But most wouldn’t understand that when James loved his family.

It did if someone watched the whole video. He started with saying again that he was an asshole and should have explained when we’d gotten together knowing that joke was between us, but he never thought his cat would react like that. He’d always thought the person side of him was the one who was so volatile on the leash thing, so his cat doing it was surprising.

Fair. I mean, I couldn’t understand it not being a shifter, but it made sense. I’d been around them enough now to know that it was a whole other being inside of them at times.

James was honest and very vulnerable in the video saying how him being born first was a horrible curse and weight. That he might be an Alpha shifter, but he’d never wanted the responsibility of the family. The head of the clans—it was like being princess. They were shit on for everything. He fully understood why his dad was such an asshole.

That he hated him at times and especially how he’d treated Trisha and the other sister they’d lost in NYC, but he understood how his dad had gotten there. And it was always his leash to his family, the tie-down. He had the same reaction at times with tying off ships which was comical since he’d run off to join the Navy to get away from his family.

Not forever, but he wanted to have a life as James and learn who he was before he could ever become head of the clan. He didn’t want to become their puppet and the next one of a line of broken men. And then he apologized for saying “puppet” specifically after what I’d been through, but that was what it had always felt to him.

Plus, his cousins all hated him for being next. They acted like he’d get to rule a country and fortune, but it was a burden. And that animosity never went away. His dad’s cousins and siblings were assholes to him. They blamed him for everything. He loved his family but hated how toxic they were. Like an uncle lost his job and somehow it was his dad’s fault.

The whole family were rude and shitty to him until he got the guy a new job. All of it on his lap. Like… Where was the perk to being head of the clan? And he was constantly told that was just being the leader.

Except it wasn’t. The Gagnons were a perfect example of that. The Begleys were a bit too toxic, and him leaving—getting Trisha out later too—gave him the perspective. But he always had nightmares of being pulled back in and forced to live that life. He said it wasn’t always the right analogy, but a lot of times it was almost like a retractable leash that dragged him back.

I got it. I heard him, and it might have seemed off base or crazy… It wasn’t my life. I hadn’t lived what he had.

I mulled over what he’d said while Kristof washed and conditioned my hair. “I love when you do this. I feel so loved and special when you treat me this tenderly thinking that you’re too hard to be gentle that it makes me want to cry.”

He was quiet a minute, but then I was shocked when he sniffled. “Thank you, my love. Thank you. I needed to hear that I’m not failing you. Especially today.”

I blinked back tears as I turned to meet his gaze. “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t my fault. We didn’t fail. That asshole was an asshole, and we did what we should. We can’t control them. I’m just glad he didn’t kill anyone.”

“I know. I just—your vision for the world is so beautiful and I hate when people shit on it. I want to make it happen for you.”

“I love you too, you old fart.”

“Thank you, my wife,” he chuckled and went back to his task.

I also looked over the pictures in the phone and it sparked something in the back of my mind, making me chuckle. I told Kristof what I was thinking, and he laughed so hard he had to drop my hair and lean on the edge of the tub to not fall over.

“He might not find it as funny as we do, Inez,” he warned.

I gave a half shrug. “I didn’t say what I did to hurt him or just lash out. Part of me does wish that maybe I could stop loving him. Maybe it’s time he proves he’s worth my love and…” I shrugged again and looked away from his knowing gaze.

Explanation or not, what James had done had really hurt me. I’d done something privately as a joke, already hurt that he hadn’t stood up for me when people were laughing at me. He should have pushed back and not let people laugh at something because ofhimbut instead enjoyed that they said I was whipped for him or whatever.

I would never, noteverhave allowed someone I loved to be treated that way.

So when I tried to teasingly call him on it, he behaved that way.

Yeah, he deserved a bit of payback and spanking.

Which he seemed to understand was on the docket the next morning when there were a lot more people gathered at Albuquerque than normal. Shifters even and clan heads. Lots of visiting vampires and all of the nobles staying with us to support their princesses. Clearly, people heard something was going down.

People needed anything else to talk and think about besides the apocalypse, so I didn’t even blame them this time.

“It’s up to you,” I told James as he approached me. That didn’t seem enough, so I decided to give him something. “I watched the video and understand.” I turned and held my hand out to Sisay who was my guard. He gave me the jewelry box and James’s eyes flashed with something.

He let out a slow breath and glanced around before nodding. He pulled off his sweater and knelt before me. He stared up at me with something soft in his eyes that actually surprised me. Then he smiled, probably seeing my confusion.

“I love you, My Princess. I hurt you and I regret that. You deserve your pound of flesh, but you won’t do anything to really humiliate me.”

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