Page 17 of Princess For All

“You have no reason to be sorry,” Darius said firmly. “There’s lots that is too much to handle alone. You’re smarter than the rest of us to take a day off and ask for help. I wish I’d done that.” He snorted. “I wish I would learn to do that now. After everything with Aether—I want to learn from my mistakes.”

“That’s not fair,” I argued. “She made you afraid to tell anyone. That’s different.”

“Maybe,” Darius said sadly. “I just can’t unknot this pit that I failed you. I could have handled it better. Not made you think I was avoiding you again and abandoning you when you were struggling. I should have…” He cleared his throat and looked away. “Sorry, I should not make this about me. Wow.”

“But it sounded like you needed to get that out,” James said gently. “We all need to more. We need bum days and we need to talk more. I agree with both.”

“Me too, but it’s hard when it’s all life or death and end of the world,” I mumbled. I shook off whatever else I might have said or was feeling, trying to smile for James. “My turn?”

Luckily, he took the hint. “Your turn. Let’s see what you got.”

Apparently, I had a lot.

Or at least a lot of excitement. Sitting in the front was completely different than the back or even by the gun. It was thrilling, and learning from James was easy because he made the setting without pressure.

Plus, he was fucking hot. Like really fucking hot and his voice was amazing so… Yeah.

“Um, do you want to join us for lunch?” Darius asked when it was over.

“He’s good,” I said firmly, shocking them both. “I’m glad you’re our teacher too, but you don’t get cookies for being pushy and crashing. This is our time.”

“Fair,” James accepted after a moment. “No one tried to add themselves to our date. Okay, yeah, sometimes it’s group, sometimes—I get it.”

I felt bad for being harsh when I understood it was more that he didn’t get how to date someone with other partners. Still, he couldaskinstead of just doing.

I really needed to train that damn cat.

Lunch was nice. Darius had checked out what different areas were having, and we went over to Seattle for some crab salad sandwiches which were amazing.

The conversation wasn’t as great, but it was less awkward than before. I didn’t hate him being there. It didn’t hurt to look at him.

The bar was currentlythat low.

“Inez?” Darius asked when we were done.

I wasn’t sure why his voice cracked until I realized tears were running down my cheeks. “Sorry.” I sniffled and cleared my throat.

“What did I do wrong?” he worried.

“Nothing. This was… I just don’t understand how we got here. Almost from the moment I met you, being around you was so easy—comforting. Now it’s awkward. I keep thinking that’s so much better than hating you, but that’s… Sorry. Thanks for lunch and setting this up.”

I went right to Sisay to bring me back since going to Petre seemed like rubbing it in Darius’s face that I was with someone else. I honestly wished we could figure out a way for me to stop feeling he still believed those things he said or I didn’t hear him saying them. That was what I wanted most so I could truly try again.

I snorted when Sisay put me down back at the castle.

“What’s up?” he asked, understanding something just happened with me.

“I just understand Aether a bit better and taking my memories. Having the past weigh you down is—it’s really a struggle as much as being a clean slate could be.”

“Yeah, the memories really weigh all of us down, not just you.” He kissed my hair and thanked me for bringing them to the crab sandwiches. They’d really hit the spot and he’d been in the mood for them.

Well, that was something.

And things were progressive with Darius.

James behaved.

I wasn’t sure if I was trying to appreciate more of my life or just giving in and letting the bar be too low.

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