Page 90 of Dark Horse

When Grant showsup at the ranch house looking downtrodden and somber, I do my best to give him and his brother space. He goes into the study and talks to Ramsey for a long time while Hazel and I sit out on the couch eating cake. I’ve lost the plot of whatever we’re watching because my mind’s already racing with worries over what Grant’s found out. What it will mean for him and his family, and for us—if there even is an us now.

He was good to me at the hospital, sitting by my side and holding my hand while we waited for all the test results. But I know he got at least one phone call from Levi that didn’t go well. He came back into the room rattled even though he played it off like it was nothing. After Hazel and Ramsey convinced him to leave, it had been radio silence, not a text or acall, but I know it’s because he hasn’t had a moment’s peace today and likely didn’t get much, if any, sleep last night. As soon as he’s out of his meeting with Ramsey, I plan to turn the tables on him and insist he sit down and eat. Get some rest. Try to give himself a break.

He doesn’t argue much when I do—too tired to protest, I guess. He sits down at the table while I reheat one of the meals Kit brought over for us. I watch as Ramsey nods for Hazel to follow him up the stairs, and she gives me a sympathetic look before she disappears. The kind that says she knows what it’s like to have to deal with a Stockton brother in this condition. It won’t be an easy conversation.

“I’m sorry about leaving the hospital before you were ready to go. If I could have stayed with you, I would have. You know that, right?” He apologizes before anything else, and it makes my heart ache that he feels like he has to.

“I know.” I shake my head and smile at him. “I’m not upset. I know Levi needed you, and I know you wouldn’t have left if it wasn’t important. You don’t have to explain. But is everything okay?” It’s a silly question. I know it’s not. I’m just trying to ease into this conversation as slowly as I can.

“You have to go with them back to Cincinnati.” He says it like an order, and I bristle.

It’s not the same easy back and forth we had before the explosion. It’s the old cold and calculating tone he used when he thought I was misbehaving and needed to be put back in line. I expected a backslide; I knew that the explosion and the escalation of violence would make him go back to holding the line on how dangerous he was for me. I was prepared for that and ready to let him take time to come around, but I didn’t expect him to try to send me across the country.

“What am I going to do in Cincinnati? I’ve got nothing there,” I dispute calmly, hoping I can get him to see reason.

“Hazel and Ramsey will be there. Charlotte will be there. Most importantly, it’s far away from the clusterfuck here. You could have died yesterday, Dakota.” His eyes pierce mine with a look of remorse.

“I can’t impose on Hazel and Ramsey right now. They’re still reeling from the canceled wedding and honeymoon. They have their own challenges at the moment, and I don’t think they want me in their house like a third wheel. I feel awkward enough being in their way here.” I keep my voice even, doing my best not to turn this into an argument.

“You’re not in their way. They love you and just want to be sure you’re okay. If you don’t want to stay with them, you can stay with Charlotte. I’d rather you stay at the Kellys’ residence anyway. It’s a fortress, and there’s no chance of you being a third wheel there.” There’s a hint of levity in his last statement but not enough to distract either of us from the seriousness of the conversation.

“I barely know them. It would be every bit as awkward, just in a different way.” Hudson and Charlotte seemed genuine when I’d spent time with them over the last week, but there’s a difference between liking new acquaintances and moving in with them.

“They’re good people. I’ve suggested Ramsey and Hazel stay there too. With him being gone at practices and camp all hours of the day, Hazel would be better off somewhere with more security.”

“I want to stay here at the ranch. You have all this security swarming the grounds.” I point out the window as another security truck passes down the road in front of the house. “It’s as safe as anywhere.” I set his dinner in front of him.

“There won’t be anyone here to stay with you when Hazel and Ramsey leave. Ramsey has to be back at camp, and there’s no way in hell he’ll let Hazel stay back without him.”

“I’ve lived alone all my adult life. It won’t be any different.” I sit down across from him at the table, trying and hoping he can remember that as much as I’ve learned to appreciate his help, I don’t need it.

“Minus the fact that someone could sneak onto this property and into the ranch house and kill you in the middle of the night—or worse.” His face clouds with the thought.

“They could have done that in my apartment. You don’t think that’s a fear every single woman in existence lives with in the back of her mind every night of her life?”

“I’m saying the chances the fear becomes reality are infinitely fucking higher at the moment.” He loses his patience, putting his fork back down on the table even though he’s barely had a taste of the food.

“So stay with me.” I can tell he wasn’t expecting that argument when his brow furrows, and he shakes his head.

“That’s a bad idea.”

“Nowhere safer I could be than with you. You’d do a lot more for me than some random security guard in Ohio would. And it would help my anxiety to know you were okay.”

“I’m not okay. I’m neck-deep in a war I inherited, and I don’t even know who all the players are on the board. They tried to kill my entire family and Hudson’s, along with our friends, and I didn’t even see it coming.Nothingis okay right now.” It’s a rare moment of vulnerability for him to admit he doesn’t have all the answers. I soften my tone when I speak again because I want him to know above all, I’m here for him.

“Then all the more reason I want to be here. You need someone who can be there for you too. You don’t have to do all this alone.” I reach out and put my hand on his forearm, and I’m relieved when he doesn’t pull away from me.

I know the accident ripped open old wounds for him. I know it dragged up every fear he has, and I can’t blame him forit. But I’m scared he’ll push me away in the process and never let me back in. My leaving will only make it that much easier for him to wall himself off again.

“I have Levi. I have Hudson. People who can help me deal with the problem. You’re not in a position to do that, and I don’t want you to be. I want you clear of this entire fucking mess. I want you somewhere safe. I can’t take a second time like yesterday morning. Holding you with you bleeding like that and not answering me. I thought I’d gotten you killed too.” His hand comes up and covers mine, and his eyes search for understanding. I can’t give him the easy agreement he wants, but I know fighting him might just make him shut down more. The last thing he needs is an argument about feelings when he’s just trying to survive and make sure the rest of us do as well, so I do my best to temper my response.

“If you’re asking me, I’d rather be here by your side rather than get the news in Cincinnati via a phone call. You’re worried for your family—so am I. You’re the closest thing I have to family. You can’t ask me to just walk away from that, knowing all the risks you’re taking on, and just hope there’s something left whenever I come back. Please don’t ask that of me.”

“I can’t do my job if I have to worry about you, Hellfire. I can’t. I can’t think straight if I’m always thinking about you.”

“Then stop thinking about me and start trusting me to be able to make decisions for myself. You’ve got security on the ranch. It’s just as safe as Hudson’s, given that they’re after him too. Here, at least you can check in on me, you can know I’m close by, and I can check on you.”

“Dakota…” My name is a curse ripping out of his throat like a desperate plea. “You don’t understand. It’s not safe. It’s not the same.”

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