Page 81 of Wild, Wild Cowboy

He dipped his chin, then tilted his head sideways and peeked at me. “I could say it now. Just to test it.”

My heart slammed against my ribs. “No!” I shouted.

His brows winged up and one corner of his mouth twisted in an amused smirk.

“I mean, no,” I said in a normal voice, despite my pulse galloping frantically. I needed to think about this. It was happening too fast again, and I hadn’t expected it. I couldn’t?—

“Are you scared, duchess?” he asked.

It was almost a taunt, except his eyes crinkled at me in a smile that hadn’t made it to his mouth yet. I loved that look. I didn’t deserve that look, not when I had just shouted at himnotto tell me he loved me. But he looked at me like that, and suddenly I wasn’t scared, not really.

And still I said, “Yes.” Because that fear...it would come back. That clawing panic would return. I didn’t want to hurt him.

“Good,” he said.

“Good?”

“Yeah. I’m glad you’re scared. I’m counting on it. Because here’s the thing, Hannah Bell.” He tilted my chin up to look at him. “You’re really fucking good at doing the thing that scares you.”

33

HANNAH

Ididn’t sleep that night. Stab, pull, stab, pull, stab, pull. My needle made stitch after stitch, my brain whirling with all the things Zack had said.

I love you, Hannah Bell.

Stab, pull, stab, pull, stab, pull.

You’re really fucking good at doing the thing that scares you.

Stab, pull, stab, pull, stab, pull.

I want you to win, Hannah.

Stab, pull, stab, pull, stab, pull.

My fingertips were red and sore when I finally put the pillow aside. I crawled into bed just as the first light of dawn peeked over the ridge line. My eyes drifted closed with his voice still in my head.

I want you to win, Hannah.

The PaintedCat was its usual self on Saturday night. Which was to say, it was busy, but not so busy that a person making a spectacle of herself wouldn’t be noticed.

Butterflies took flight in my stomach. Oh, heck. I squished the pillow against my abdomen, hoping it would smother them. It did not.

“He’s not here.” I looked around again, just to be certain. “Are you sure he’s coming?”

James squeezed my bicep comfortingly. “Adam promised he and Brax would get him here. They’ll get it done.”

“Great,” I said mutely. “That’s great.”

Essie burst out laughing. “Oh, honey. You look like you’re going to hurl.”

“I can’t deny that’s a possibility.”

Janie poured a shot of tequila and pushed it across the bar top. “Here. For courage.”

I downed it in two swallows. I doubted I’d ever make it in one. “Thank you.”

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