Page 34 of Wild, Wild Cowboy

She blinked like she hadn’t considered that. “I didn’t know how to reassure them, I guess. My inability to orgasm became this wholething. They took it personally. Or they’d get mad, like I was doing it on purpose, or I was being unfair to them somehow. Sex became a fight, or a chore. They resented me. They always resented me for ruining it.”

“Insecure dillweeds,” I said again, and I meant it.

“Maybe.” She fiddled with the edge of her plate. “But I was the common denominator, and that made me feel…broken. Hopeless. I tried a one-night stand once, just to see if I could break the pattern. Maybe I could orgasm if it wasn’t all sofraught. If the stakes weren’t so high, and I never had to see him again.”

“Did it work?” I asked, even though I suspected I knew the answer.

“No, of course not.” She grimaced. “Since then, through talking to other women and reading a lot, I’ve come to realize that the female orgasm is elusive during one-night stands. Which makes sense. Alcohol is often involved, and men tend to do better when they actually know the woman’s body.”

I paused, considering that. I’d had alotof one-night stands.

She suddenly seemed to remember that. “I’m sure you’re the exception,” she said diplomatically.

I laughed. “Obviously.” But I wondered. Hell, there had been a few times when I’d been too drunk to finish myself.

She frowned down at her sandwich. But when she looked up at me again, she wasn’t frowning. “Butyoudon’t resent me. And I think that’s because we’re friends. It makes hard conversations easier. I actuallylikeyou, and I think you like me, too.”

Was that what friendship was? Liking someone? I could handle that. Hell, I liked everyone. It felt a little different with Hannah, though. A littlemore, somehow. Maybe it was all the talking. That was new. There had to be a word for that, when you wanted to listen to every last thought in their head, but you also wanted to do unspeakable things to their ankles.

A conundrum, that’s what it was.

“I like you, Hannah,” I said. “I like you a hell of a lot.”

“Good,” she said briskly. “Because I think you could be my breakthrough.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” She clasped her hands together, squared her shoulders, and looked me dead in the eyeballs. “I want you to teach me how to orgasm with a man.”

12

HANNAH

Ihad the feeling I was witnessing an event that had never happened before: Charming, glib, rodeo star Zack Hale stunned speechless. I didn’t mind. I’d had a whole night to think this through, so the least I could do was give him a few minutes. I calmly ate my grilled cheese sandwich, now lukewarm and a little rubbery, and waited for his brain to remember how to make words.

It took a moment, but he got there.

“I beg your fucking pardon?” he demanded.

I swallowed my food. “I think it’s theintimacyof sex I have a problem with. I have trouble staying in my body when someone else is…you know…alsoin my body. It feels like a threat. But with you, it’s…I don’t know. Not as bad.”

He gave me a slow, stunned blink. “Not as bad?”

I nodded. “Because we’re friends. But more importantly, I think it could get better. With everyone else, it only got worse. I think I could get used to you.”

“Get used to me…being inside you, you mean?” His eyebrows went up and his eyes did that crinkly thing they did when he wasamused. “If you don’t quit sweet-talking me, duchess, I’m going to fall in love with you.”

He was teasing me. I knew that. What I didn’t know was whether his teasing meant he was trying to let me down easy. Maybe he didn’t want to teach me how to orgasm with him. That hadn’t occurred to me last night, with the wordsHeaven, Hannah. You feel like heavenringing in my ears.

“I know it seems ridiculous, but I really think it could work,” I said. “The first time, I didn’t think I could do it with you in the room, watching me. But I did. And the next time, at your cabin…” I bit my lip, remembering. “It was easier.”

When I peeked up at him, I found him watching me intently.

“What if it doesn’t get easier?” he asked. “What if you don’t get there with me?”

Ihadactually considered that last night. In all honesty, it was a pretty likely scenario. “Don’t worry about that.”

“Duchess, you just asked me to teach you how to orgasm. I kind ofhaveto worry about it. I don’t like to fail.”

---