Page 80 of Shatter Me

"Security footage," I bark into my phone. "I want eyes on every camera within ten blocks. Find that vehicle."

My perfectly controlled world crumbles as I stand in her ransacked apartment. For the first time in years, fear claws at my chest. Not for myself, but for her.

I failed her. The thought burns like acid. The one person I swore to protect, and I failed.

My phone buzzes from Akim, sending me the security feeds. I force my breathing to be steady, switching to tactical mode. I will find her, and Lebedev will learn what happens when someone touches what belongs to me.

I pace the length of Tash's apartment, each step echoing the thundering of my heart. My hands won't stop shaking. I've killed men without flinching and orchestrated the fall of empires without breaking a sweat, but right now, I can barely breathe.

The elevator dings and Nikolai strides in, taking in the scene with sharp eyes. "Security feeds show a black van heading east. Alexi's tracking traffic cameras now."

I barely hear him, fixated on a smear of blood on the wall. Her blood. The thought makes me physically ill.

"This is my fault." The words scrape out of my throat. "I should have had more men, should have?—"

"Dmitri." Nikolai grabs my shoulder, but I shrug him off violently.

"Don't." My voice cracks. "She trusted me to keep her safe. I promised her—" I slam my fist into the wall, welcoming the sharp pain.

Alexi bursts through the stairwell door, laptop in hand. "I got something. Van switched plates three times, but I'm tracking the pattern."

Erik appears moments later, face grim. "Katarina's secure. What do you need?"

I try to focus on their words, on forming a plan, but all I can see is Tash's face—her smile that morning over coffee, the way she teases me about being controlling, and how she feels in my arms at night.

"I can't lose her." The admission tears from my chest. "Nikolai, I—" My carefully constructed walls crumble as the truth hits me. "I love her."

My brothers exchange looks, but none mock my moment of weakness. They understand. For the first time in my life, I'm terrified, not of death or failure, but of living in a world without her in it.

"We'll find her," Nikolai says firmly. "Whatever it takes."

I run my hand through my hair, a rare show of agitation. Without my brothers here, I'd be tearing the city apart with my bare hands, leaving a trail of bodies in my wake. Their presence grounds me and forces me to think strategically rather than emotionally.

"There might be only one way to end this quickly." The words taste like ash in my mouth. "A trade. Katarina for Natasha."

Erik's face contorts with pain, his usual stoic mask cracking. The look in his eyes mirrors the ache in my chest—the torment of choosing between duty and love.

"Brother..." Nikolai starts, but I cut him off.

"I know what I'm asking." My voice remains steady despite the storm raging inside me. "But every minute she's in their hands..." I can't finish the sentence.

Erik turns away, his shoulders rigid with tension. We all know what Lebedev's men are capable of. The same techniques we've used countless times on our enemies. The thought of Tash enduring that makes me want to burn the world down.

"There has to be another way," Alexi says, fingers flying over his keyboard. "Give me time to track?—"

"Time is exactly what we don't have." I meet Erik's eyes as he turns back. "I wouldn't ask if?—"

"I know." Erik's voice is rough. "But Katarina... she's not just a bargaining chip anymore."

The weight of what I'm asking settles heavily between us. I'm not the only one who's found something worth fighting for, worth dying for. Erik found unexpected love in our captive, and I'm asking him to give her up to save mine.

I turn to Erik, studying his tense posture. "Does Katarina want to remain a captive?" The question hangs in the air between us. "Surely releasing her back to her life doesn't mean the end of things for you unless she doesn't feel the same."

Erik's jaw clenches. His usual stoic mask slips momentarily, revealing a flash of vulnerability I've rarely seen in my battle-hardened brother.

"She..." He runs a hand through his short hair. "We haven't discussed it."

I study Erik's face, recognizing the darkness that flickers behind his eyes. My brother has always been the most dangerous of us all—the one who keeps his violent urges barely contained beneath a facade of control.

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