Page 44 of Shatter Me

"No." I take a long sip of wine, buying time to rebuild my walls. "The past is better left where it belongs."

She opens her mouth to ask another question, but I cut her off by signaling the waiter. "More wine?"

The message is clear that this line of questioning is closed. I see the flash of hurt in her eyes, but I can't tell her the truth. I'm a mobster, and our family thrives on drug and arms deals.

Some secrets have to stay buried for both our sakes.

The waiter brings our entrees—Dover sole for her and wagyu for me. I watch Tash take her first delicate bite, appreciating how she savors the food without the affected mannerisms many society women display.

"The chef outdid himself tonight." I attempt to steer us back to safer waters. "Though not quite as good as that little place in Paris we discussed."

"Le Baratin?" Her shoulders relax. "No, but few restaurants compare. Their wine list alone..."

"Next time you're in Paris, try L'Ami Louis. The chicken is transcendent."

"Bold of you to assume I'll take restaurant recommendations from a man who drinks Stoli with his caviar." A ghost of her earlier playfulness returns.

"That was one time, and Nikolai dared me." I allow a small smile. "Besides, you're the one who paired red wine with fish tonight."

"Rules are meant to be broken." She takes another sip of the Margaux. "At least when you know which ones."

The conversation flows easier now, but something has shifted. The intimacy from earlier, when she spoke of her grandmother, has retreated behind careful words and measured responses. I've built walls my entire life but watching her construct her own makes my chest tighten unexpectedly.

We discuss safe topics such as upcoming exhibitions and mutual acquaintances. She's brilliant and engaging, but I notice how she steers clear of anything personal. No more questions about family or the past.

The crystal chandeliers cast shadows across her face, highlighting the reserved set of her jaw. Even the gold chains across her back seem more like armor than adornment.

I did this. One moment of weakness, of refusing to let her past my defenses, and I've lost something precious I didn't even realize I wanted to keep.

The waiter clears our plates and brings the check. I slide my black Amex across the table without looking at the total. Money has never been an issue, especially not tonight.

Outside, the autumn air carries a hint of winter. Tash wraps her arms around herself, the silk offering little protection against the chill. She steps toward the curb, lifting her hand to hail a cab.

I catch her wrist, my fingers circling the delicate bones and yanking her away from the curb toward the building. "You're coming home with me."

She turns, eyebrow arched. "I don't think so. I'm not doing the walk of shame out of the Ivanov mansion tomorrow morning. Your brothers would never let me live it down."

A laugh escapes me. "While I keep rooms there, I live in my own place." I tug her closer. "A penthouse in Back Bay. Very private, very exclusive."

"Still as arrogant as ever," Tash says, pulling her wrist from my grip.

"You love it." I step closer, boxing her against the building. Her breath catches as I lean in. "The way I take control. The way I know exactly what I want."

She tilts her chin up, defiant even as her pupils dilate. "You're delusional."

"Am I?" My hand finds her hip, fingers splaying across the silk. "Your body gives you away every time."

The black Mercedes pulls up smoothly to the curb. Akim steps out and opens the rear door with perfect timing.

I gesture to the open door. "After you."

Tash hesitates, then slides into the leather interior. I follow, settling close enough that our thighs touch. As soon as Akim closes the door, my hand finds her knee.

"Dmitri..." Her warning lacks conviction as my fingers trail higher, brushing the silk aside to find bare skin.

"Shh." I nip at her earlobe, breathing in her perfume. My other hand traces the chains across her cleavage. "I've been wanting to touch you all night."

She gasps as my fingers slip beneath the silk, finding her hard sensitive nipples. "The partition..."

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