Page 79 of The First Play

At least we’re not leaving with anger sparking between us. Just deep sadness.

I think about our night together. The feel of his arms around me and how I felt so safe and secure in his embrace.

Our frenzied lovemaking… that urgent connection we both so desperately needed.

I’ll never forget the feel of him inside me.

He’s a part of my soul. No matter what happens.

I reach the kitchen and find my dad sitting at the dining table. He has a mug of coffee in his hand and a look on his face that tells me he knows exactly where I’ve been. I take in his sad smile and suddenly burst into tears.

“Aw, Blue.” Standing tall, he walks across to me, gathering me into his arms and taking a seat. Snuggling me on his lap, he rests his head against mine, letting me cry buckets into his shirt. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it’s all going to be okay. You’re going to get through this.” He kisses my forehead, rubbing my back while I whimper against him.

And then Mom appears. Tying her bathrobe at the waist, she runs over, wrapping her arms around us and holding on tight.

I draw strength from their embrace and words of comfort.

“Never regret this love, my darling. He’ll always be a part of your story, and once the pain dies down… he’ll be a part you can cherish and remember with a smile.”

I know they’re right.

Zander will always be a part of me.

I just didn’t realize how much…

PRESENT DAY…

CHAPTER 33

ZANDER

If I’d known that was the last time I was ever going to see her, would I have done anything differently?

My chest hurts just thinking about it.

“Let’s go play some ball at the park.” Tyrell grabs a football. “I need to shake off this shit.”

I’m all for that! Gotta get Sienna out of my mind before it crushes me. I always hate it when I get caught in a moment thinking about our miserable end. It was the best sex we’d ever had, and I thought I was cool with it being the last… I just hadn’t known how much I’d miss her when I went away to college.

I tried to forget her. Tried to spread my wings and fly, but there were so many moments I wanted to share with her. She stayed with me, clung to my brain, my heart, my soul. And my need for her wouldn’t let up no matter what I tried.

Which is why, during my three-day Christmas break, I came back for her. Screwing waiting until the end of the season. I couldn’t keep going without her.

My insides start to burn, an acidic taste filling my mouth as I try not to relive the worst holiday of my life.

Shit. Don’t go there, man. Just forget it. Forget her!

“Let’s go, bro.” Grady slaps my leg, forcing me up.

We drag Carson’s ass off the couch as well, ignoring his grumbling complaints as we walk out into the sunshine and head for the closest park. It’s two blocks down and isn’t part of Nolan University’s campus. It’s a public area with a playground and water fountain. The big green field is lined with trees, and it’s the perfect place to throw a ball around.

I catch it when Tyrell fires it my way, then run back two paces, launching a perfect spiral through the air. Grady sprints down the field, plucking the ball out of the air and diving around Carson, who tries to tackle him. Slamming the ball onto the ground, he lets out a loud whoop, doing a backflip, then getting pushed off his feet by Carson, who gathers the ball and starts sprinting.

Wily grabs him before he can get too far, lifting him off his feet in a quick fireman’s hold before spinning him around while he yells obscenities that make us all laugh.

I share a smile with Tyrell, who rolls his eyes and starts jogging over to break up any potential fight. Carson’s got a quick-fire temper that can be fucking lethal if not monitored. And Tyrell seems to know how to calm the guy down.

Wily throws the guy off his back, and Carson lands with an “Oomph” before shooting to his feet and jumping on Wily, putting him in a quick choke hold in order to wrestle the ball out of his hands. It bounces wildly, and they scramble after it while I stand there grinning and wishing football could be as untamed as what we’re doing right now. There’s nothing like scrapping for a ball. Coach never lets us do it for fear of injuries, but he isn’t here right now.

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