Page 77 of Lethal Alliance

Darya follows the direction of my gaze to the white stick on the nightstand. She freezes like a deer caught in the headlights. When her eyes finally move back to mine, they are a deep, haunted world of topaz emotion, the glass of water forgotten and tipping dangerously toward the bed cover. I take it from her hand and rest it back down beside the white stick.

“I understand why you didn’t tell me before you ran.” The hand that isn’t holding her face clenches the bed covers convulsively, hopefully out of her eyesight. “I’m not saying I agree with it. But I understand it.” I force the tension from my voice with an effort. “And perhaps, given all that has happened with the girls, I can even understand why you might have hesitated to tell me since you’ve been back.”

That sounds less convincing. My ability to shield my emotions goes only so far.

“What I cannot understand is how you could endanger your own health like this.” My hand stills on her face. “Maria tells me you haven’t been eating. That you’ve been sick for days. More sick than is... normal.”

“For pregnant women.” Darya’s voice rasps like old metal, her arms clutching her knees to her chest, her eyes wide and hurt. “Say it aloud, Roman. I’m more sick than is normal for someone who ishaving a baby.”

I frown. “We can pick over words later, Darya. Right now you need to see a doctor.”

“No, I don’t!” Swinging her legs over the bed in a sudden gesture, she faces away from me, her shoulders rising and falling rapidly. I want to touch her, but I’m not at all sure she wouldn’t jerk away from me, and I’m not sure I’d be able to restrain myself from throwing her down on the bed if she did.

Not that I would throw her anywhere, because she’s fuckingpregnant, and...

Oh, Jesus.

I don’t realize I’ve said the last two words aloud until I hear Darya’s harsh laugh.

“Yep.” Her voice is muffled by her hands covering her face. “And that right there is exactly why I didn’t say anything. It’s fine, Roman.” She stands up and walks stiffly away from the bed toward the bathroom. “There’ll be time for us to talk about this when the girls are home safe. For now, you don’t need to worry about me. About... us. I can see a doctor, if it makes you feel better. But I’m fine.We’refine.” The way she touches her stomach again makes it very clear who thewein her sentence relates to.

I leap from the bed and cross the room, blocking the entrance to the bathroom. Her head is down, her arms folded across her body in that protective way that makes my teeth go on edge, as if she’s the only thing standing between the world and our baby.

Our baby.

And despite the war I’m about to walk into and the dark nightmares that haunt the edge of my every waking thought, those two words shine so brightly they’re almost blinding.

Our baby.

A child made by Darya and me. A future I never imagined I could have, never dared even to dream of.

Darya, dancing in the kitchen with her belly ripe and swollen.

Darya, swimming in the sunlight at the finca, holding a giggling baby in the air.

“Darya.” I tilt her face up. “Darya, please look at me.” When she raises her eyes, they gleam with unshed tears, a hard brilliance that breaks my heart.

“I didn’t do this right,” I say roughly. “I’m probably not going to do any of this right. I’m better at bullets than babies, like I said. I always thought my life would be the former, with no place for the latter. I never thought... In a lifetime, I never imagined I’d be given this kind of chance. And I’m terrified I’m going to fuck it up.”

Her brow crinkles. I brush the hair back from her face, trying to let my smile show the wonder that I feel but am doing an epically bad job of expressing.

“I want you to see a doctor because I want to take care of you and our baby.” Even saying the words aloud feels impossibly beautiful. But the joy of speaking them is nothing compared to seeing the dawning hope in her eyes, which both touches me and breaks my heart at the same time. “I’m sorry that I didn’t get this right, and I’m sorry in advance for all the things I’ll likely fuck up in the future. But never for one moment think that this isn’t the best goddamn thing that’s ever happened to me in my life, Darya, because it is.” I pull her against me and wrap my arms around her, almost scared of holding her in case I crush the tiny life between us. “Our baby is a fucking miracle. And I swear to you that I’ll take care of you both, now and forever. Do you hear me, Darya?” I pull back from her, holding her face in my hands, my thumbs wiping the moisture away from the corners of her eyes. “Do you believe me?”

“Yes.” She nods in my grasp, her eyes melting into mine. “Yes, Roman. I believe you. But—” She flinches, her eyes closing.

My hands drop, tension gripping my chest. “But what?”

“But I think I’m going to be sick.” She pushes past me, hand over her mouth, and makes it to the bathroom just in time.

I stand at the doorway grinning like a maniac, wondering how it’s possible to feel so happy and so fucking terrified at the same time.

24

DARYA

In the end Roman and I compromise by me seeing an obstetrician that afternoon. Dr. Ballasteros is a female doctor of my choosing, rather than Roman’s normalsew ’em up and take the bullets outmale option. She reassures both Roman and me that my morning sickness isn’t grave enough to require hospitalization and gives me some medication to ease the symptoms.

“Apart from the sickness, everything looks in perfect shape. It is important that you get enough rest and remain stress free.” She gives Roman a rather old-fashioned look. I’m guessing the strings he pulled to get an appointment on such short notice haven’t gone unnoticed. “But other than that, Mrs. Stevanovsky, I think you can look forward to feeling much better very soon.” She nods at the changing rooms adjoining her suite. “You can change here, if you like, while I talk with your husband.”

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