Page 184 of Lethal Legacy

But I’ve lived this life for a long time. I know all too well that I might not survive what’s coming.

I also know that if I do survive, Alexei Petrovsky will be dead.

And that alone will mean the end of any future Lucia and I might have had.

I stare at her for a long moment, resisting the urge to simply kiss her forehead, to get close enough just to inhale her vanilla-and-coconut scent. Lucia will wake the moment I touch her, a legacy of the long years she’s spent running in fear.

Something she’s about to have to do again.

Heartsick, I close the door softly and go up to the penthouse.

Mindlessly I walk down the corridor, tearing off my shirt and tie, longing for the numbing power of vodka, hoping there might be an inch left in the bottle Dimitry and I hit last night. I stop short in front of the partially open door to the secure room, then remember with a hard jolt of relief that I got the vodka bottle out of the safe last night when Dimitry was here and forgot to close the door when we were done.

It feels like a lifetime ago.

It’s a measure of how unsettled I am that I forgot to close the safe and lock the door. That never happens.

I stare at the open safe. “I let you down, Papasha.” The words rasp painfully from my chest. “But I won’t let the children down.” I feel a strange coolness on my cheeks and realize in detached surprise that its tears. I don’t remember the last time I cried. Maybe when my mother left.

“I know you wanted a different life for me. I can’t have that. But I can make sure the children do.”

I kneel in front of the safe, my fingers touching the bronze nameplate.

“I’ll save Mercura, and I’ll win this war, Papasha. I swear to you that I will. I’ll win it so thoroughly that when Mickey and his sisters grow up, there won’t be anyone or anything left that can harm them.” My voice cracks, but I force myself to finish. I may never be able to say this aloud to anyone else, but here, in this room, to my father’s ghost.

“I’ll fight this storm so they don’t have to.” I slowly close the safe door, letting my fingers slip the intricate locks into place.

“I’ll end this thing, Papasha. Even if it ends me.”

55

LUCIA

Iwake on the couch at first light, the children’s limbs entwined with my own.

I gently shake Ofelia and Mickey. “Time to go back to your beds,” I whisper. Masha is still snoring against my shoulder. I carry her across the corridor, past an entire army of security, the older two kids blinking owlishly at the sudden bright light. They partially sleepwalk into their rooms. I lower Masha gently onto her bed and pull the covers over her, then stand for a moment, savoring her sleeping face.

I check on the other two. Ofelia stirs when I kiss her cheek. “Love you,” she murmurs, before turning onto her belly and falling asleep.

Mickey is lying on his back, his eyelids drooping, but they widen when he sees me. “Will you be here when I wake up?”

My heart clenches so fiercely it hurts. “Yes, darling.” I kiss his cheek. “I’ll be here.”

I hurry back past the guards, tears blurring my eyes.

In my own rooms, I sit on the couch, my knees tucked to my chest.

Yes, I’ll be here when the kids wake.

But I might not be here tomorrow.

Tonight, after the ball, I’m going to talk to Roman. About everything.

Lance Ryder’s accusations. Alexei. The passports that arrived yesterday.

About the vault, and why the Orlovs won’t ever give up looking for me.

Most of all, I’m going to tell him about the baby growing inside me.

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