Page 80 of The Vipers' Vow

Faith wipes her eyes and turns to me. “I’m so sorry, Vani.”

I can’t bring myself to hate her. She really has saved me, but I also can’t tell her it’s all okay, because it isn’t. She played her part in Reagan’s death, and I can never forgive that. I stare at her for a beat, our eyes locked, and then I turn, stumbling toward the college building.

Lex catches up with me and grabs my arm, but I shake him off. “No, Lex.”

“But, Vani, you’re shaking, and you – ”

“No!” I shout. “Leave me alone, all of you. Just fuck off.”

I turn on my heel and run toward the college. I can’t see any of them right now. I just can’t. Lex might not have done anything to me himself, but he’s been a part of the whole toxic cycle that’s developed between me and these three men, and I just want them to give me a bit of space. I need to process things, and I can’t do that with Lex, Zane, and that bastard Saint up in my space.

Instead, I go to see Ms. Greene.

She ushers me into the nurse’s office, and I show her my wound. “I can donate to the animal shelter,” I tell her, my voice shaking.

She pulls me into a gentle hug. “That won’t be necessary. Let’s get you fixed up.”

“Thank you.”

The cut isn’t bad. She uses a couple of Steri-Strips then sticks a bandage over it. I might have a scar, but considering what else could have happened, I’ve gotten off lightly.

I stay hiding in the nurse’s office for a couple of hours. Ms. Greene gives me a nip of brandy for the shock and the pain, and it warms me up from the inside. She insists on getting me a sandwich, too, and watches over me while I eat. It feels nice to be mothered, even by a near stranger. When I’ve finally stopped shaking, I thank her for her time and escape back to my room. I’m worried I’ll find the Vipers there waiting for me, but I’m also worried that I won’t.

No one is there.

I take a hot shower, mindful of the now dressed wound on my back, careful not to get it wet. Then I get out and dress in my sleep shorts and tank top and take myself back to bed. I think I’ll stay here forever.

It’s dark, but it’s not late. Most of the students will be working in the library, or having a bite, or in the bar. I’m in my room, scared and alone. I wish I had a friend, a real friend. I’m lonely for female company. What’s wrong with me that I can’t seem to keep any girlfriends? I never had any growing up, and now I find out the three I’d believed were my friends were the ones responsible for Reagan’s death.

I curl up on my side, close my eyes, and fight back more tears.

Eventually, sheer exhaustion wins out.

31

VANI

Iwake in the dim light of the room, just my three battery powered candles flickering to provide any light.

There’s someone in my room; I can tell straight away. There’s a heaviness to the air.

I know it’s Saint, and I force myself to stay still, to see what fucked up, sick thing he’ll do. For the longest time, he sits in the corner and does nothing. I can feel the weight of his gaze on me, and I keep my eyes lightly shut and my breathing slow and level. Then I hear the light scratch of pen on paper, and I dare crack open an eye and peer through my lashes. He’s got a notepad on his lap, and, as he writes, he speaks.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Vani. I’ve fucked up so many times. You can’t stand the sight of me anymore, and I get it. I don’t want to ruin things for you, Zane, and Lex, though. My brother has always picked me, but in this, I know he won’t. He’d pick you, and that’s only right, because so would I.”

He pauses and sniffs. I crack an eye open again and see him wiping his eyes with his sleeve. Is he crying?

“But I’ve lost the right and, for the first time in my life, instead of being a selfish bastard and ruining it for you all, I’m going to walk away. I can’t stay here, watching you guys be happy together, because it will destroy me, so I’m going to leave. I’m not telling you or Lex where I’ll be because that fucker will try to persuade me to come back, and I can’t, not if I can’t be part of this. I’m just so sorry. I never touched Angelica like that, but I know all the shit I’ve done anyway is inexcusable.”

He pauses again and chews the end of his pen.

“I love you, Vani. You’re the only woman I’ve ever said that to, and I can’t forgive myself for screwing it up.”

He sighs and saysfucksoftly, and then he writes one last thing he doesn’t say out loud.

Standing, he places the note by my bedside, and I force my breathing to regulate as I close my eyes. I feel the moment his gaze turns to me because it’s like the sun on my skin. Then he gently draws the covers back and pulls down my strappy top, exposing my breasts.

Anger surges in me because he’s doing the fucked-up shit again that he’s just apologized for. What’s he going to try this time? To fuck me while he thinks I’m asleep? But he doesn’t. What he does do is rub something thick on my nipples. They pucker and tighten, and I draw in a sharp breath, but manage to turn it into a sleepy moan. His touch makes a beeline directly between my thighs, and instead of turning away and demanding to know what he’s doing, I find myself anticipating what will come next. But, to my disappointment, he pulls my top back up and steps away. I hear a rustle as he places something on my nightstand, and then the soft snick of the door closing as he leaves. I don’t move for a long beat, my breath caught in my lungs.

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