Page 40 of The Oath We Take

Every part of me trembles with the deliciousness of this moment.

“Stop holding back, Em,” he says, as if he can read my mind.

His lips return to my mouth, and every nerve ending within me sparks.

My muscles relax, and I roll my hips, wondering what it would feel like if we were naked.

“Fuck, feels so good.” His words brush my skin as he speaks.

His thick length grinds against me, and I gasp at how incredible it feels. It shocks me how quickly those feelings turn into the telltale signs I’m going to come.

As if he senses it, Atom pushes harder against me. His eyes meet mine with a fierce intensity and need I’ve never seen before. He wants me as badly as I want him.

“Let me take it, Em,” he mutters against my mouth.

Perhaps the universe owes me this one moment in payment for the years of longing. And if there has to be an underscore to this undeniable thing between us, then maybe an orgasm at his hands should be it.

Because I don’t know what happens next. No promises were made. No conclusions drawn. This could be forever, or it could be the end.

He presses his teeth to my earlobe, biting down firmly, and the pinch of pain is all it takes to break free of thought and give in to what I’m feeling.

The orgasm shakes me like the earthquake Atom mentioned earlier. I tumble, out of control, into it.

“Yeah, sweetheart. Ride it for me,” Atom whispers against my ear. “Wish I could feel the way your cunt is quivering for me right now.”

I can’t think straight. Everything reels out of control as I do what he says. The orgasm explodes deep within me, and I shake at the force of it.

I see stars as I throw my head back and cry out.

No experience I’ve ever had has felt like this. It’s a struggle to get my breath under control. No other man has been able to make me feel like this, has made an orgasm rattle through me this way, like Atom has.

My future needs to be more of this. The kind of soul-shattering intimacy that makes you crave the other person all the time.

And for some reason I can’t fathom, I mess it all up.

“What does this mean?” I say, ruining everything. Immediately, regret fills me. It’s like asking what a partner is thinking when you’ve both just come.

Except he hasn’t even come yet. Which makes me feel even worse.

It’s way too early to ask, but it feels like the very last line of defense for my heart.

He shakes his head and drops his forehead to my shoulder, placing a tender kiss on my damp neck. “I don’t know.”

It wasn’t quite the declaration I was hoping for. Though maybe it was exactly the answer I was expecting.

I wrestle free of him, and he places my feet on the floor. “What isthatsupposed to mean?” I ask.

“Exactly that, Em. I want you and I want the club, and I don’t think your dad is going to let me have both. But we need to try.”

“What are you saying?”

Atom tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, then cups my cheek. “Can we do it quietly? Test the waters ourselves first. See how we are together?”

“You mean keep this a secret?”

He kisses my forehead gently. It’s like, now that he’s opened the floodgates of touching me, he can’t stop. “Yes. Me being with you will cause a lot of hurt in our brotherhood. Fuck knows what your dad will actually do. But I live here. I can’t leave. My ranch is here. And the club is on our land. It affects everyone. I guess what I’m saying is, why don’t you and I try this shift in our relationship on for size? We’ll date; we’ll make out.” He smirks at that and brushes his thumb over my lower lip. “Just on the down-low.”

I want to fight back. I want him to claim me publicly. Tell the world he loves me. But what he’s saying makes sense. Even if it makes me feel like he’s got us failing as one of his possible outcomes.

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