I shake my head. “The handsy guy, yes. The guy messing with Ember? No. Ember saw me headed her way and raised her hand to stop me. Didn’t know what to do for the best. But it feels like it’s too regular an occurrence. What if we told hang arounds and prospects that a pathway to the club is to be at the bar a shift a week or something? That way, if anything out of hand happened, we’d at least have boots on the ground to either help out or call in reinforcements.”
Butcher huffs. “Fuck me. That girl has no sense of safety.”
I’m not sure I agree. I think she was fully aware of what she was doing. But I don’t tell Butcher that.
“I know she doesn’t want club colors in there at all. But seeing as some of us go in there anyway, why not start something unofficial to keep Ember out of trouble?”
Butcher eyes me carefully. “You wanna tell me why you’re suddenly so upset about what happens to my daughter?”
The question and tone catch me off guard. “What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. How come you were watching her enough that you know this is a regular occurrence?”
I roll my eyes and try to find the acting chops to pretend I’m insulted as opposed to nervous Butcher is about to see right through me. “For fuck’s sake, Prez. I’m the club enforcer. I make sure everyone is abiding by the rules and take physical steps when they aren’t. Same thing when I’m sitting in a bar. And speak to Catfish. He fucking loves sitting by the bar because he claims it’s the best spot to pick up women. Which, given the sorority sister he took home last night, appears to work.”
I don’t tell him that I dropped her disappointed friend back at their motel without so much as a peck on the cheek.
Neither do I tell him why this guy I saw bothers me more than any of the other guys I’ve seen Ember date over the years. But deep down it’s because I’m sure that, like sand through the hourglass, time is running out on me.
Ember isn’t going to remain single for the rest of her life. At some point, she’s gonna find a man who will give her everything I wish I could. And she’ll look at him how I wish she’d look at me.
And when that happens, I honestly don’t know what I’ll do. Can’t imagine her showing up at some club event with a ring on her finger and a baby in her arms that isn’t mine.
Butcher says nothing but holds my gaze so intently, I swear he’s trying to telepathically pull the truth out of my head. My response is slow coming, but I find it eventually.
“Quit looking at me like that, Butch. Was just looking out for your girl’s safety and business, but fuck you if I’ll worry about it again.”
I pivot on the ball of my foot and head for the door, wishing I’d never said a word.
“Atom, wait.”
I stop with my palm on the door handle. “What?”
“Sorry. I’m tired. Didn’t sleep well and haven’t had enough coffee. Thanks for looking out for Ember. Girl’s enough to give anyone indigestion or heartburn. Men flock around her. Always have.”
I turn to face him. “She’s a pretty girl. Men are bound to look. And one day, one of them is going to be brave enough to ask you to let ’em marry her.”
Butcher tugs a hand through his hair. “Kids. They never tell you how you’ll spend a third of your life worrying if they’re safe, a third of your life wanting them to be happy, and a third of your life second-guessing every decision you ever made as a parent. But I don’t want any man’s hands on her, and no man is ever going to be good enough for her.”
I would be.
I want to shout the fucking words at my president.
I’d treat her like a fucking queen.
And I bet my hands would feel really good on her.
I’d never raise ‘em in anger. Only use them to build the best fucking life I could for the two of us and however many kids followed.
“You want me to set up that schedule on the bar for her or not?” I ask, burying that line of thinking.
Butcher sighs. “Set it up. Make the schedule random, in pairs so no one is sitting alone like a spare prick in a whorehouse. Different days. Different seats. She gets wind of it, they bail, and I’ll blame you.”
And I leave church knowing I just won an invisible point against Ember Deeks.
4
EMBER