Page 3 of The Oath We Take

But, unless I’m no longer an Outlaw, something I’ve dreamed about being my whole life, I can’t be the man for her. And in no world would I ever be worthy of Ember.

It doesn’t matter how you define destiny and fate.

Ember Deeks can’t be mine.

I hate the hurt I put in her eyes, but every summer she comes home a little braver. A lingering glance here, a soft touch that warms every part of me there. And I’ve been stupid, welcoming it, knowing it can never flourish into what both of us want. “Sorry, Ember. But I think we need some new ground rules.”

Her plump pink lips pout, and it takes everything I am to not step over to her and kiss the damn pout right off her mouth. “What rules?”

“This.” I gesture between the two of us. “You know it can’t lead anywhere, right?”

She steps forward, taking both my hands in hers, and foolishly I let her. “Hear me out, Hudson. What if we tried? What if we talked to Dad together? We could ask your dad to help us. I’m not asking for forever, Hudson. I just…” She blows out a breath, then returns her gaze to mine. “We’ve danced around this whenever I’ve been home. I just want you to take me on a date. Away from here and the club and the world you’re part of. Take me dancing or take me to dinner. Even better, take me camping, and we’ll cook steaks on an open fire and listen for the nightjars.”

I allow myself a moment to see the world she’s creating for us. We’d ride out, sleep without a tent, and perhaps even fall in love beneath the stars. There’s a small piece of property I love that I’ve already considered asking Grandpa if I can buy from him. It’s out by the river, deep in the middle of our land, and would make the perfect spot for her dream.

Then I take a hammer to it.

“We can’t, Ember.”

“We can. Dad might take some talking around, but we could ask some of the?—”

“I don’t think of you like that, Em.” The words stick to my throat in a jumble of letters that don’t want to be spoken. “You’re just a friend. Sorry if I ever made you think otherwise.” The lie forces its way out, clawing and scratching to the surface.

Not sure I’ve ever seen a person deflate quite the way Ember does. Her shoulders drop, lines of confusion appearing on the bridge of her nose. There’s hurt in her eyes and the glassy sheen of tears.

Twenty words have detonated anything we could have been.

“Oh, God. I’m sorry.” She backs away, then turns on the heel of her boot.

“No, Ember. It’s…”

The words hang.

It’s what?

It’s not like that.

It’s not what I meant.

It’s more than I deserve.

I want to console her and tell her I don’t mean a word of it. I want her to look to me to comfort her. I want to be the man who holds her close, who assures her I won’t let anyone hurt her.

“Ember,” I shout when she reaches her horse. But she doesn’t turn back.

She mounts Lemmy, and whatever instruction she gives makes him take off like he just heard lightning. Dust kicks up behind him as he races out of sight.

I know how he feels. Because Ember Deeks just offered me her heart, and breaking it broke mine too.

1

ATOM

CURRENT DAY

“Hit me again like that, you cocksucker, and I’ll hit you back so hard, you won’t stand up for a week,” I say, before touching my cheekbone. Nothing’s broken, but bet I’ll have a black eye in the morning.

The frat boy in front of me is lucky he’s still standing. Only hit him twice to give him a lesson in consent he seems intent on not learning. I’m tempted to deliver on my threat anyway, but I’ve already created enough of a scene.

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