Page 27 of The Oath We Take

It’s there again, the straining tug of thread I feel when I’m around Atom. I see something a lot like yearning in his eyes. I’ve never bought that he didn’t want me, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise. I know that was an excuse.

He simply wanted the Iron Outlaws more than he wanted me. He wanted my father’s respect more than he wanted me. He wanted a place at the huge wooden table in church more than me. And he wanted the leather cut hanging outside my door right now more than me.

But that doesn’t mean he didn’t want me. The kiss in the barn proved it.

The way he’s looking at me right now proves it too.

Neither of us move.

Both of us are torn. Stuck in this place where we can’t push each other away hard enough for it to be final, nor can either one of us step forward into the other.

I did that once, and he turned me away. I can’t make that mistake again.

And Atom knows if he does, my father will become a huge, insurmountable problem in his future.

“Em,” Atom says finally. Two letters bound to make my pulse race faster than a gallop with Lemmy.

With all that I am, I need to know what he wants to say. But my fear is that the words will break my heart again. I decide to save us both. “Let me get my laptop so I can show you the footage you want.”

It takes me a moment to retrieve it from the breakfast bar. I tap around on a few keys, taking my time as I try to regulate my breathing that has become heavy.

“It’s not the best angle to see all of it,” I say. “But this was their arrival.”

I cue it up from the moment Rocco pulls his car up and gets out to open the door for me. It’s a cute moment and makes me smile sadly. I try to focus on how handsome Rocco is. How he took me out to dinner and made plans for us and was simply kind.

I glance at Atom, and a small muscle in his jaw twitches as he watches the screen.

The high-quality cameras pick up sound.

“Thanks for a lovely evening,” I say on the video.

Rocco’s smile is instant. “Let me walk you to your door. My mom would never forgive me if I didn’t.”

Atom huffs. “Fucking momma’s boy. You know he’s only saying that to get in your panties.”

I pause the playback. “I’m not going to let you watch this if you’re going to be an antagonistic asshole.”

He bats my finger away and presses Play himself.

I swear Atom growls when he sees Rocco reach out to touch my cheek, but he leans in closer when he sees the first man get out of the truck and call my name.

“Did you catch any of the plate of the truck?” Atom asks.

I shake my head. “I wasn’t paying attention when they arrived. And when they left, well, you’ll see—I had other things on my mind.”

The video plays on: me nervously fiddling with the straps of the purse to reach my gun, Rocco stepping in front of me to protect me.

I thought I was fine. Well, fine enough. But watching the video back, I can see the fear in my eyes.

“You need to get the fuck out of here,” Rocco says.

Atom grips the edge of the table. His knuckles are white.

My voice wavers on the video. “You have no idea who you are messing with.”

“I know everything about you. And your daddy isn’t going to be able to fix this for you. Nor is he going to be able to save this town.”

“So, they know who you are, and they know who Butcher is and—motherfucker!” Atom sees the moment one of the men pulls his gun from the holster and threatens my life with it.

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