Page 243 of Mountain Boss

“That’s a yes.” She snorts after my extended silence.

“It’s a yes.” I sigh.

Courtney makes a sound in her throat. “Your hesitation makes me think it was about a woman.”

A laugh jumps out of my chest.

She snickers. “I’m right, aren’t I? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay.” I push off the tree and start my own pacing. “I want to preface this by saying I havezerofeelings for this person. I don’t hold any sort of candle for her. I don’t think about her with longing.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re over her. I get it,” Courtney teases me.

I roll my eyes at myself. Of course, this woman of mine would be understanding.

“So…” she prompts.

“So… she was my high school girlfriend. And like every couple that age, we planned our whole lives out. She would go to college, get her teaching degree. I would keep working full time, overtime, until I could afford my own guide business. We would live in the town we grew up in, working our careers… But she went to college out of state, and after the first year, she came home and told me it was over. She said she liked livingin civilizationand that she’d never be happy living with mein the woods.”

I shake my head remembering it.

I let her dismissal twist me up for so long. And for what? I can’t even picture her face anymore. I’d pass her on the street and not recognize her. And even if I did, I wouldn’t care. I have my Courtney now.

“What a twat,” Courtney spits.

Goddamn, this woman is it for me.

I smile at her anger on my behalf.

“It took me a while to get there, but yeah, you’re right. Unfortunately, at the time, I was still young, dumb, and full of pride. And her rejection made me doubt myself. And my passion.” I circle back to the original question. “I never quit, but I cut my hours and got a temp job in an office.”

“In an office?” Courtney repeats incredulously.

“It was very temporary.”

My girl laughs. “I’m trying to picture you at nineteen, playing nice with people in button-downs… that aren’t flannel.”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t picture it either. I was there less than a month before I decided I’d rather live alone than live that sort of lifestyle. It just wasn’t for me.Isn’tfor me,” I correct. “And it proved to me that we didn’t love each other the way I thought we did. It wasn’t like…” I swallow the rest of my words.

It wasn’t like us.

I didn’t love her at all.

Because it didn’t feel like this.

Chapter 188

Courtney

I lean against the counter.

He was going to sayus.

He was going to sayit wasn’t like us.

As in he loves me.

That has to be what he was about to say.

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