Page 240 of Mountain Boss

Every time he groans against my neck.

Every time I fall asleep with his hand clasping mine.

I can’t even explain how a part of him feels like a part of me.

How I breathe easier with him in the same room.

How I sleep deeper with him at my side.

How I smile more with him in my life.

I press my free hand to my chest.

Sterling has been off on a retreat for the last two nights, and I miss him so fucking much.

He told me he would cancel. That he planned this trip before we met. That he’d rather stay home.

But I wouldn’t let him.

Didn’t want to ruin his plans with his friends.

And I’m regretting it so much.

Fuck his friends. I want my Sterling.

Ben drops the stick at my feet again, and I toss it.

My mom is still talking. Telling me about her drive to Florida, her plans for the holidays, her next destination. Unaware of my inattention.

I keep making the right sounds. And she keeps going until I hear someone knocking on her door. The rattling sound ingrained in my memory makes me wonder how long that damn RV will keep running.

“That’s the neighbor.” She calls anyone in the same campground as her a neighbor. “We’re doing a potluck. Gotta go.”

“Have fun.”

“Always.” I can hear her smile. “Love you.”

Then the line cuts.

“Love you too.” I sigh.

Ben bounds up the steps, but instead of dropping the stick, he plops his body onto the deck.

I crouch so I can run my hand down his back. “You’re such a good boy.” He lifts his head, his tongue lolling out. “Should we have some snacks before our holiday dinner?” Ben licks his chops. “Come on.”

Half the guys are gone, but half of them are still here, and Cook is making us dinner.

I have a variety of full-sized pies cooling in the kitchen as my contribution.

Sometimes the Lodge is booked with outings over the holiday, but this year it isn’t. So we have a few days before the next group arrives on New Year’s Eve.

Opening the door, I step back as Ben trots into the house.

He’s so happy here.

I vow not to let the call with my mom, or my spiraling thoughts, depress me.

I have a dog. A real, actual dog.

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