Page 45 of Fear of Intimacy

The thoughts that swirled in my head were dangerous. If I let myself give in, I’d be done for. I’d lose whatever sort of friendship the two of us had developed over the last few days. And as much as I wanted to believe that Trevor liked me, I wasn’t sure he did.

Yes, he was here with me, but we were in a different place, a different country. Would our feelings be the same once we got back home, back to the real world?

And as much as I wanted to not think about the future, I had to. Because Trevor had the ability to take my heart and break it into a million pieces.

Using all of my willpower, I forced myself out of his hold. My head whirling as I quickly stepped away, heading to our booth. On the way, a waitress walked by carrying a tray with shots. I didn’t hesitate in reaching out to grab one, only for another hand to snatch it first. It was Trevor’s. He wasted no time in knocking back the shot, my eyes glued to the way his throat rippled as he swallowed.

With heat crawling up my spine, I turned on my heel and continued my way back to the others.

“Where’s Josie?” I questioned Landon, the only one sitting at our table.

“They left a few minutes ago,” he said, his eyes not leaving the dance floor.

“Oh.” I swayed to the side as the effects of all the alcohol took hold. I was a lightweight, so drinking so much was probably not the smartest idea. Big hands grabbed my hips to steady me. Trevor’s citrus-y scent filled my head. “I think it’s time to go.”

“What? No.” I shook my head but had to close my eyes as my head dizzied.

“Time to go, Sunshine.” I opened my mouth to argue but when the world started to tilt on its axis, I knew he was right.

Trevor talked with Landon for a moment before gently steering me for the door with an arm around my waist. “Let's get you back to the hotel.” His voice was soft. A big difference then what it was a few minutes ago on the dance floor.

Using his big frame once more, Trevor led us through the crowd of people until we reached the doors. Immediately, the brisk air cooled the sweat clinging to me, bringing my temperature down a few degrees.

Still keeping his arm on my waist, Trevor guided me down the sidewalk leading back to the hotel.

“Did you know I danced back in the day?” I suddenly said after a moment when the silence stretched between us. The sober part of my brain wanted to reach out and slap drunk Tasha. I needed to learn to control my mouth when I drank.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep.” I nodded my head rapidly. “My mom put me in ballet classes for years.”

When my mom first signed me up for them, I was thirteen. I loved it and even made a few friends in the class.Every few months, we would have recitals and all the parents would come and watch their kids. My mom and dad came to the first one but that was it.

The next recital—four months later—my mom dropped me off at the doors and drove off. I thought she was just going to find a parking spot but as I went on stage, I looked everywhere for her just to come up empty. Then, I thought maybe they were somewhere in the back, but when it was over and everyone ran to their parents, who congratulated them on their performance, I stood there. Alone. My parents were nowhere in sight.

It wasn’t until twenty minutes after the recital that my mom showed back up and ushered me into the car. Not a single word was said about my dance. Not even a, “How did you do?”

After that, ballet turned into a way for my parents to get rid of me for a few hours. It also gave them bragging rights—that they had a daughter in dance. Like they knew if I could dance or not. I stayed in the class until I was sixteen, when I learned that therealreason my parents signed me up was to get close to another girl's father, who, apparently, was a millionaire that they thought would be useful as a friend.

“Bet you were great.”

“Best in the class.” I stuck my chin out proudly. “Watch this.”

Stopping in the middle of the road, I moved my feet into first position, the back of my heels almost touching. It was hard to do in heels, but I lifted myself up onto my toes. I went to lift my leg up but my skirt was too tight and my balance was completely off. Stumbling to the side, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh yeah, so impressive.”

“I know, right.” I smiled. Totally missing the sarcasm inTrevor’s voice. “I quit just to spite my mom.” The words left my mouth on their own.

“Wow, such a badass.”

“The biggest badass. I used to dye my hair a lot to piss off my parents,” I said as we started walking again. “I once went pink and my parents practically banned me from being seen with them. Worked in my favor cause I didn’t have to go to any stupid events,” I rambled.

“Wait, I have a picture!” I patted my hips and then cupped my chest, looking for my cell. “Where’s my phone?” I turned in a complete circle, hands still on my breasts.

“I have it, Sunshine.” Trevor gently grabbed my elbow. I forgot I left my phone on the table near the others so I wouldn’t lose it. Didn’t even notice Trevor had grabbed it.

“Oh, good. Can’t lose that. It’s got all my dirty pics.” I sent him a wink. God, I had no filter when I drank. Beside me, Trevor cleared his throat, his eyes widening as he looked at me.

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