Page 8 of Fear of Intimacy

“You’re just jealous of my dorkiness.” He said.

“That’s not a word.” I pointed out.

“It is now.”

My lips threatened breaking out into a smile. I turned back to my book so he couldn’t see the amusement writtenon my face. I hated how my guard dropped around him so easily. Just one of his earth-shattering smiles and the walls I'd built crumbled around my feet.

“I thought you might need one of these.” That all too familiar voice spoke yet again. I looked over just as the same flight attendant walked up to Trevor. In her hands, she had a blanket even though she already passed some out a few hours before. I met Trevor’s eyes and sent him a look that said, “told you.”

“I…” For a guy who was such a ladies' man, he seemed unsure of what to say. The woman stared down at him with a look that said she was more than willing to meet him in the bathroom. Something flared in my chest at the message behind it.

“Actually, I’ll take that,” I said, standing up and extending my hand for the blanket. For the first time since she started coming over, she seemed to notice me. Her eyes looked me up and down, taking in my worn black leggings that were more gray from how many times I'd worn and washed them and the baggy sweatshirt I donned. I didn’t exactly look my best, and the tilt of her lips let me know it.

It didn’t faze me. I had plenty of people, mostly girls, look at me like that. You didn’t grow up with parents like mine, going to socialite parties where every single person there judged you and still cared about what people thought of you. I had plenty of fake friends over the years to know a fake smile when I saw one. “The blanket?” I prompted, sending her the same terse smile back.Don’t play a fake game with someone who’s played it longer.

A flash of anger crossed her face before she schooled her expression and handed the blanket over, clearly not thrilled at me for interrupting her flirting with Trevor. Like she truly thought Trevor would instantly jump up and follow her back to the bathroom.

“Thanks.” I sat back down and made a show of putting it over my legs. When she still hadn’t moved, I raised an eyebrow. “I think we’re good now.” I didn’t care that my voice came out rude or that my expression was less than friendly. Maybe now she’d get the hint. I was getting tired of seeing her come around every few minutes.

I understood that Trevor was attractive. Okay, he was more than attractive, but she didn’t need to prance around and flirt with him every few seconds. Especially not when I was sitting right there the entire time.

The look she cut me only made my eyes narrow even more. Turning to Trevor, she plastered on her stupid smile and squeezed his arm again. Looking at Trevor, I noticed how uncomfortable he seemed as he leaned away from her. Clenching my jaw, irritation suddenly filled me. My eyes were glued to her hand on his arm as I sat up.

“I suggest you move your hand before I come over there and do it myself.” My voice was like ice. Both her and Trevor’s heads turned in my direction. “Your. Hand.”

She looked at me and then her hand, still not moving it. From the corner of my eye, I could see Trevor trying to move his arm away, which just further pissed me off.

“I have no issue telling your supervisor you’re harassing passengers.” And I was dead serious. Just because she found someone attractive didn’t mean she could go around touching them without their consent.

The color leached from her face at my words. I was normally the nicest person, but I could also be the biggest bitch you’d ever met. I had no problem being one either. She finally seemed to understand and snatched her hand back. I didn’t look away from her as she slowly backed up a step.

“If we need anything, we will let you know.” I didn’t bother giving her a fake smile this time. She nodded once, my words finally seeming to sink in. “Until then, don’t comeback.” I didn’t miss the slight flinch on her face at my words. Not one part of me felt bad.

Without another word, the flight attendant left, this time not sparing Trevor another glance. Good.

Still feeling bothered at the way she touched him, I sat back in my seat, my hands shaking slightly as I grabbed my book once again. I could feel Trevor’s gaze on me, but I forced myself to keep my eyes on the page I last read.

It took everything I had not to let certain memories flood my mind. Memories I tried so hard the past year to get rid of. Memories that ruined me inside and out.

“Thank you.” Trevor’s voice broke through the fog, threatening to drag me under. I gave him a small nod in return. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t like people touching others without their consent.”

My words were still clipped as I stared at my book, all the words on the page blending together. Trevor opened his mouth as if to say more, but he seemed to understand I wasn’t in the mood for anything else. Gripping my book with both hands, I ignored him and everyone around me as I tried not to drown in my past.

4

TASHA

Two layovers and many,manyhours later, we were finally on our way to Whitsunday Island. Everyone was extremely exhausted, but I could feel the excitement building the closer we got to the hotel. Because of where it was, the only way in was on a boat, which only ran at certain times, so once we were on the island, there really wasn’t a way off.

The tour guide on the boat listed off facts about the island, but I tuned him out as I gazed out at the water. I was squeezed between Mila and the side of the boat, the others scattered around with a few other tourists.

“The island has…” The guy was saying, but it went in one ear and out the other. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, relishing in the way the wind whipped at my face as the salty breeze of the ocean filled my nose. The air nipped at my skin, causing goosebumps to pebble along my arms, but the sun brushed them away.

Turning my head to the side, I looked down at the water. The pictures I saw online did not do it an ounce of justice.The closer we got to the hotel, the clearer and bluer it got. So clear that I wanted to dip my hand in.

We weren’t even there yet, but that didn’t stop me from noticing how much clearer my mind was already. After my moment with the flight attendant, things got awkward between Trevor and me. Once I calmed down enough to think rationally, a wave of embarrassment hit me in full force.

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