Page 64 of Fear of Intimacy

“Pretty much. Somehow got a scholarship to Toronto to play, and the rest is history.”

“Bet you’re glad you went to tryouts that day.” I said.

“It was more about being away from my house. It was easier to be at the rink sometimes.”

It meant a lot that Trevor was here opening up about his parents. It wasn’t easy to talk about certain situations. While I knew there was more to the story about his parents I would let him tell me on his own time.

“So…” When Trevor changed the subject, I let him. “Why were you upset earlier?” Of course, he didn’t forget.

“It was nothing.” I waved him off.

“If it made you upset, it's not ‘nothing.’”

“My patient from earlier lost his wife a few years ago.” I couldn’t say too much because of doctor-patient privilege. I may have only been a counselor, but it was still an invasion of privacy and against the law. “It was a rough day for him. I tried to be of help, but I’m not sure I was.”

My biggest fear slipped past my lips without realizing it. I had never fully admitted that out loud before, not even to Josie. That I questioned my ability to guide a person through their struggles in a way that had them coming out on top on the other side of it. That I was just sitting there spouting bullshit. That I wasn’t making a difference.

“Hey.” Trevor’s voice was soft as he stood up, moving to squat in front of me. He placed his hands on my knees, drawing my attention to him. “Tasha, you are great at what you do.”

“I—”

“No. Don’t even think about putting yourself down. You care about your patients, which makes you great at your job.”His hands squeezed my thighs. “Sometimes, just having their words listened to is all people need. They need someone who will care enough to stop and listen and understand.”

Trevor had absolutely no clue how much his words meant. How they helped ease the pressure in my chest.

“How do you always say the right thing?” I whispered, my own hands coming down on his. When I first met Trevor, I never once thought he’d be someone I could confide in or who would say the right thing to make me feel better. There was so much more to him than I ever knew or let myself know, for that matter.

“It’s one of my many talents.”

I chuckled at his response. “Thank you.” I met his eyes as I squeezed his hands.

He was the first person that wasn’t Josie that made me confident in my job. That I was making a difference when I second-guessed myself.

I'd always been someone who pushed for perfection. If I couldn’t do it perfectly the first time, I beat myself up about it for weeks at a time. My parents strived for that same thing, which I guessed was where I got it from. Always having to get straight A’s, be in advanced classes, learn languages.

I may not have had the job they wanted, but I still had that urge inside of me to be perfect at it. Even more so to show them that I was doing just fine in the career thatIchose. I was always trying to prove myself with everything I did.

“Always.”

The urge to kiss him grew more and more the longer he stayed in that position. Him squatting between my legs made him perfectly in line with my lips. My hands moved on their own, leaving his hands to softly touch the scruff on his face. “I like this,” I murmured.

“Yeah?”

“It suits you.” It made him look more rugged.

“I’ll make sure to keep it then.” At that point, the two of us spoke softly. My palms smoothed over his face while his hands ran over my thighs ever so slowly. Even wearing my work slacks, his body heat seeped through the fabric.

“I want to kiss you.” The words left my lips in a whisper making him chuckle.

“You don’t need to ask permission, Sunshine.”

I didn’t let myself be embarrassed as I brought my lips to his. Not when kissing Trevor made everything inside of me settle down. It wasn’t a sexual kiss as his lips moved gently against mine. It was crazy how fast I went from pushing Trevor away to needing him. But not a single part of me second-guessed it.

Pulling away from each other, Trevor gave me that smile that made my heart race. I could definitely get used to him coming to my office for lunch.

20

TASHA

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