Page 51 of Fear of Intimacy

“My parents want to marry me off to some random guy.” The words flew from my mouth. My voice was hoarse, like I’d been screaming, when really, it was from the burning hot fury inside of me. Saying it out loud sounded even crazier than my mother saying it on the phone.

“What?” Trevor took a step toward me, confusing marring his features.

“I said no.” I shook my head, water flying from my hair. My body shook but I wasn’t sure if it was from the rain, the adrenaline, or what I was about to say. “I told her no because I’m tired of them trying to dictate my life. Tired of letting stupid things stand in the way of what I want.”

Trevor stood there in his doorway, staring at me as I continued while drenched to the bone.

“But I realized when I hung up with her that I’m letting my fear of getting hurt stand in the way of what I truly want.”

“What do you truly want, Tasha?” Trevor’s voice was soft, but I heard it as if he was whispering it in my ear. I didn’t even hesitate in answering.

“I want you.”

“Me?” He took a step forward. I nodded, feeling like my heart was in my throat. I couldn’t read his face to know if I said the right thing, or if I was about to have my heart stomped on.

“Are you sure?” Trevor asked, taking one more stepoutside, the rain now hitting his bare chest and instantly soaking him.

“Yes.” My heart pounded so hard in my chest.

The longer Trevor looked at me, the less confident I became. I was probably making a huge mistake. Maybe I ruined my chance with him by having my walls too high. I started to take a step back when Trevor spoke again. What looked like determination flashed across his face.

“Good, because I've wanted to do this again since that night five months ago.” Without another word, he covered the distance between us, hands cupping my cheeks before planting his lips on mine.

The moment our lips met, everything around me went silent. The anger sizzling at the back of my throat extinguished, and all I could focus on was Trevor’s lips against mine.

My hands slid up his slick chest as he tilted my head back to get a better angle. When his tongue gently traced the seam of my lips, asking for permission, I couldn’t stop the moan from spilling out of my mouth and into his.

Fuck, he could kiss. Last time, I freaked out and left before I could truly appreciate it. But not this time. No, there would be no leaving.

Pulling back to get some air, I kept my eyes closed, my entire body sizzling. I gripped Trevor’s biceps to keep myself grounded. The swipe of his thumb on my cheeks prompted me to open my eyes.

Trevor gazed down at me with a soft look on his face. His hair stuck to his forehead, rain clinging to his eyelashes. My eyes tracked a trail of water dripping down his jaw, my lips practically begging to follow after it.

“Let’s get you dried off,” he murmured.

I nodded, not trusting my voice

Stepping into his apartment, I awkwardly stood on themat right by the door. Aside from the fact I was dripping water everywhere, this was the first time I’d ever been inside his place.

“Coming?”

“Uh…” I glanced down at my soaking wet clothes dripping onto his rug.

“It’s just water, Sunshine. I can clean it up later.” The soft smile he sent me almost made me melt into a puddle of goo. Slipping off my shoes, I gently placed my hand in his.

I wanted to look around at the place, but all I could focus on was his back as he tugged me after him. The muscles moved with each step he took. My eyes trailed down to the waistband of the sweats he wore. I admired how they hung low on his hips. I mentally scolded myself for not paying more attention when he was facing me a moment ago.

Walking into his room, my eyes immediately darted to the bed in the center of the room. Swallowing thickly, I stood in the middle of Trevor’s room, my mind trying to play catch up.

“You can wear these,” Trevor said.

I drew my eyes away from the bed to the clothes in his hands. It was suddenly sinking in that we were really doing this.

“Hey.” Trevor’s voice was soft as he stepped toward me, stopping when his chest was inches from mine. His hand came up and gently grabbed my chin, tilting my head back to look up at him. “Nothing is going to happen if you don’t want it to.” His eyes bounced back and forth between mine. “And as much as I want to throw you on the bed and continue what we started outside,” those eyes darkened slightly, “we both are exhausted. So go get dried off and changed. I’ll be here when you get back.”

How is it that he knew exactly what to say? Despite wanting to also continue what we started a moment ago, hewas right. Now that the anger dissipated, it left exhaustion in its wake. One look at Trevor’s face, and I knew he was just as tired as I was.

“Okay,” I replied softly. Sleep and then we could talk about…us.

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