Page 128 of Fear of Intimacy

“Looked like you just tripped.” I shrugged. My lips tugged up at the appalled look that took over Mateo’s face.

A week ago, when we were all over at Wyatt’s mom’s place talking about the charity event hosted at Landon’s ice rink, Mateo practically begged to be a part of it, claiming he wanted to help and be around the kids. Now it seemed he was regretting that decision.

“Guys, I can’t go back out there,” he whined. “I’m too young to die and too pretty.”

Josie and I shared a look at the puppy dog eyes Mateo gave the two of us. Obviously, it worked as Josie sighed.

“Fine.” Mateo went to cheer but Jo held up her hand. “But, if you have to promise to take a picture later with the guys. Multiple pictures.” She sent him a look daring him to argue.

“Anything!” Leaning over the sideboard, Mateo planted a kiss on Josie’s cheek before quickly skating off. The movement caught the attention of a few kids who seemed attached to Mateo.

I watched with a grin as they skated after him, yelling his name as he tried to get off the ice.

“That kid.” Josie shook her head in a loving way. Even though he’s in uni now he still acts like a little kid. You can’t help but love him.

“Oh, by the way!” Josie turned to face me, her camera still in her hand. “We found a venue.”

“Please tell me it’s the Graydon Hallone.” I crossed my fingers. Out of the thirty venues we’d been to—yes, thirty—Graydon Hallwas my favorite. The manor slash castle exterior with brick walls and huge windows was gorgeous. The beautiful garden where the altar would be only added to those vibes. And the entire wedding party could stay there.

“It is.” Josie beamed.

A little squeal left my lips.

“Thank God.” Aside from loving that venue, I was tired of looking at them with Josie and Wyatt. There were only so many places you could see before they all started looking the same.

“It’s really happening.” The excited smile on Josie’s face made my own appear. The venue had the availability they needed too. Three months to go and they’d be married.

“Still can’t believe my best friend is getting married.”

“Me either.”

The sound of laughter drew our attention back to the ice rink filled with little kids and players from the Toronto Knights. Every year the team did a huge charity event hosted at Hockey Haven, Wyatt’s older brother’s rink.

The entire team came out and taught the kids how to skate and play, doing five on five games. The look on the kids’ faces when they stepped inside and saw the team was adorable.

Josie was here partly for work, covering the event for Fusion magazine, but also to see her man. Just like Mila and I were. Even Lydia came, although she was claiming she was only here to make sure the magazine got what it needed. Her stopping to stare at Landon told a different story.

When my eyes landed on my own boyfriend, I smiled. Trevor was squatted down in front of a little girl, only two showed up out of the thirty that signed up. When the girl stared up at Trevor with wide eyes, I was pretty sure she was developing a crush on him. The sight was enough to make my ovaries explode.

I nudged Josie and pointed at Trevor and the girl so she could get a picture. Seeing Trevor be so cute with the kids had me picturing how he’d be with our kids. Although, that waswaytoo early to start thinking about.

“How’s it going, by the way, with Dr. Hauss?” Josie asked, drawing my attention away from Trevor.

“Good, actually.” And I meant that.

Two months ago, after everything happened at my parent’s gala, I realized I needed to stop bottling everything up. It was Trevor who suggested seeing a counselor to talk about things. At first, I was leery. A counselor seeing a counselor wasn’t a good look. But one night, after Trevor had to shake me awake because I was having a nightmare, I knew I had to do something.

The next morning, I called a fellow counselor I knew that worked in the same building and made an appointment. Trevor dropped me off with an encouraging smile and a promise he’d be right here to pick me up afterward.

I learned how my own patients felt coming to me. The awkwardness at first. Not knowing what to say and how deep to go. But Dr. Hauss was amazing. She was nice and let me talk in my own time, never pushing me on a topic I didn’t want to discuss.

It took about three sessions before I opened up about the assault and meeting Daniel for the first time at my parents’ gala. I told her everything. Even the parts I'd never told Josie or Trevor. Told her about my parents and growing up.

It was an exhausting session, and that night I cried while Trevor held me, but I felt a sense of relief afterward. Getting it all off my chest felt freeing, like sharing it with someone eased the weight on my shoulders. Honestly, I felt better than I had in a long time.

“Have I told you how proud I am of you?”

“Yes, but I don’t mind hearing it again.” I shot Josie a grin as I looped my arm through hers.

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