Page 127 of Fear of Intimacy

I knew he meant every word.

“Is that clear?” Those fingers tightened just a tad bit more, making me go up onto my toes with a hiss.

“Yes.”

“Good girl.”

He grabbed me behind my thighs and lifted me up. One second, I was in his arms, and the next, I was lying on the bed. Moving up onto my elbows, I watched with rapt attention as he unbuttoned his dress shirt, slowly revealing tan skin and tattoos. My mouth watered as he tossed his shirt on the ground, his abs on full display.

I wanted what was under those slacks, the slacks he was sliding off his muscular legs. One of my hands moved to grab my breast, but a shake of Trevor’s head stopped me. Fisting the comforter, I tried my hardest not to touch as Trevor undressed in front of me.

I was full-on panting by the time he was done. Every inchof his body was on full display for me. All ofthatwas mine.All mine.

The dark look on his face had my stomach fluttering. My thighs fell open as he crawled onto the bed and in between my legs. As he kissed up my stomach, in between my breasts, and up to my lips, I was done waiting.

“No foreplay, please,” I groaned against his lips.

I felt his hardness in between my legs, my hips tilting up to grind against it.

“Keep those beautiful eyes on me, baby,” Trevor instructed. Tugging my bottom lip between my teeth, I did as he asked.

Eyes glued to his, Trevor reached down and grabbed himself, nudging at my entrance. He waited all of a second before sliding himself completely inside of me in one motion.

My eyes threatened to roll back in my head, but Trevor’s eyes dared me not to. I clamped around his length, groaning at the fullness. Trevor’s own moan followed. God, it felt so good.

My legs hooked around his waist, hips up so he sunk even deeper in me. I grabbed onto his biceps as he slowly started to move.

Trevor’s thrusts were slow and loving. Every one molded all my broken pieces back together. I stared into his eyes, connected in a way that was so much deeper than I could have ever imagined.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would have someone like Trevor in my life. Someone who loved me enough to give me courage to love them right back. Before Trevor, I had been hell bent on believing that I was better off alone. That keeping myself closed off was the best thing to do.

I spent years wanting the type of love others had. Yearswanting my parents to finally see me as more than just a pawn. And for the first time, I was learning that I deserved more than I let myself have.

I may not have had a great family growing up, but I had one now, composed of my favorite people. And I found the love I finally deserved.

Being with Trevor gave me the courage to love. To love him and to love myself. To accept all the broken pieces. Lying here while Trevor whispered how much he loved me made me realize that I no longer feared intimacy.

I knew I had work to do on myself, but for the first time in forever, I felt like my future wasn’t as unattainable as I once thought.

36

TASHA

“Josie, help me!” Mateo yelled.

“Sorry, you’re on your own.” Josie called out.

“Tasha. Babe.” Mateo tried again.

I looked over at Mateo as he sent me a pleading look. His dirty blond hair was darkened from sweat and stuck to his forehead.

“You asked to be included,” I reminded him.

“I didn’t ask to be mauled by little children!”

Beside me, Josie snorted. “You weren’t mauled.” She shook her head at Mateo’s dramatic tone.

“They knocked my feet out from under me and then tackled me on the ice,” Mateo deadpanned, looking at the two of us with narrowed eyes.

---