Page 118 of Fear of Falling

My blood boiled as I replayed what was said in the article. I spent the three-and-a-half-hour drive here vowing to find the person who wrote that article and make them regret it.

It’s one thing to write about me, but Josie? It crosses so many lines.

My heart seized as I thought about Josie crying on the phone to me. The way her voice wobbled as she immediately told me it wasn’t true. I didn’t need her to tell me. I knew the moment I read it everything about it was false.

The image of that random guy touching her pissed me off though. He touched what was mine and I wasn’t there to stop him. What if he did more to her? And then for it to be twisted that she cheated.

I knew the world would find out about Josie and me; it was just a matter of time. Plus, I didn’t want to hide her from anyone. I wanted everyone to know she was mine and mine alone. I just hadn’t wanted it to be this way.

I hated seeing her upset. Seeing the way her eyes were red from crying. It was my fault she was in this position to begin with. I knew how the paparazzi could be. They were like vultures. I had kind of warned Josie about them, but I hadn’t fully prepared her for how it would be when they found out about us.

It was times like this that I hated who I was. Hated that reporters and people on the internet made me into something more than just a hockey player. You never saw other hockey players being followed and pictures taken of them. I’ve gotten used to the attention, but Josie shouldn’t have too.

Josie shifted in her sleep, pulling me out of my thoughts. She turned so her back was facing me, snuggling deeper into the blankets. I didn’t want to leave her, especially after everything, but I needed to get back to Buffalo for our last away game. Coach would already kill me for leaving.

I watched her sleeping for another minute, memorizing every inch of her. I realized yesterday as I ran out of the hotel still wearing my post-game suit, that I loved Josie. I’ve loved her for a while now—I just hadn’t admitted it to myself until I drove like a mad man to reach her. I probably broke a few laws, but if it meant getting to Josie sooner, I hadn’t cared.

I knew I should tell her. I should wake her up right now and tell her that I loved her. That sometimes I felt like my heart might stop when I looked at her because it’s almost too much. That I’d never felt this way about someone before.

But I hesitated. All different scenarios flashing through my head. The paparazzi dragging her through the media. People sending her hate all because she was with me. Her career ruined. Josie loved her job and what if our relationship took that from her? I would never forgive myself.

I vowed to do everything in my power to prevent it. Even if it meant ripping my own heart out.

Feeling like I couldn’t breathe, I knew I needed to go. As quietly as I could, I slipped out of the bed. I kept an eye on Josie, not wanting her to wake up as I pulled a shirt over my head. I quietly grabbed my phone and wallet, and a pair of shoes before I stood at the foot of the bed.

I watched her, hoping this wouldn’t be the last time I saw her. Just the thought of never seeing her again made me double over like I’d been hit in the stomach. I needed to go.

Maybe the long drive back will help bring some clarity on what I need to do.

With one last glance at Josie, I slipped out of my room, leaving my heart back in that bed with her.

“I don’t careif it's six in the morning,” I snapped through the phone to my agent, Jerry. “I want the article taken down.”

“Wyatt—”he started to say, but I cut him off.

“They can say whatever the fuck they want about me, but not her.” My hands gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. “I want her name erased completely.”

“Her name is already all over the internet.”

“I don’t pay you millions of dollars for you to make excuses.” I knew I was being a dick, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I wanted that horrible article down and I wanted it now. “They took her picture without her consent.”

Jerry had been my agent since I got drafted. He’s been great, making sure I get the best deal with my contracts for hockey and brand partnerships. This was the first time that I’d ever asked him to do something personal for me.

“Okay.”Jerry shuffled on the other side of the phone. “I’ll get in touch with the place that posted the article and threaten a lawsuit.”

If anyone could get it done it was Jerry. A little bit of tension left my body, my hands unclenched the steering wheel, regaining feeling back in them.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll get it done.” He was quiet for a moment. “Are you okay?”I knew he’d ask since I snapped at him, which I rarely do.

“I’m fine.” Which was a lie. Every mile away from Josie made my chest ache. I wasn’t sure what I should do anymore. When I left home, I’d thought not being with Josie was the best decision. I shouldn’t drag her into this circus. Yet the thought of not being with her felt like I was being ripped into two.

“Let me know when it's done.” Not wanting to talk about it, I ended the call, filling the car with silence once more.

Before my thoughts could take over, my phone rang, Landon’s name flashing on the screen.

I should have known he’d be up at this hour.

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