Page 26 of Fear of Falling

The way he said it was like he’s gotten used to it. “Doesn’t make it right. Just because you get used to something doesn’t mean it’s okay.”

I’m not like that. I’d never use him.

I wanted to reassure him; we’d just met—he didn’t know me. So, as much as I wanted to say something I kept my mouth shut.

I wasn’t even sure if I would see him again after today.

We may go back to being strangers for all I know.

“You ready to go?” Wyatt asked a moment later. My heart sank at the thought of tonight already being over, but it was getting late and I had work tomorrow. Agreeing I stood up and helped gather our empty plastic plates.

Wyatt kept his hand on my lower back as we both said goodnight to Rick, with a promise to be back soon, and headed for the car.

“I will admit that was probably the best burger I’ve had,” I said as he slid into the driver's seat beside me.

“Told ya. I’ll never steer you wrong.” The lights on the dashboard lit up his face as he looked over at me. There was something about his smile that sent a rush of excitement through me. Almost like it held a certain promise that I had yet to know about.

And I found myself itching to know just what that promise was.

“So, you never got to answer the question,” Wyatt spoke after we pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to the arena for my car.

“What question?” I played dumb. I was slightly hoping I’d get out of answering it even though I was the one who brought it up in the first place.

“Uh huh, you know what one.” His hand tapped my leg. “Do you have a boyfriend?” I sighed knowing it was only fair I talked about my past relationships when Wyatt opened up about his.

“Nope, no boyfriend,” I answered truthfully. “My last ‘boyfriend’ was about a year ago.” The face of my ex came to mind, making me grimace.

“He was honestly a dick. There’s no other way to describe him.”

“How did you guys meet?”

“It was at an event I had to go to for work. He was the guy I was set to interview and at first, we clicked. We ended up talking for a few hours afterwards which led to him asking me out. Which ended up being such a mistake. My first sign should have been at the restaurant when he ordered for me. He literally ordered me a glass of milk.”

“Milk?” The flabbergasted look on Wyatt’s face made me laugh.

“Yeah. He interrupted me mid-order and ordered me a salad with milk. It was weird but I brushed it off. We had a pretty good conversation, but he talked about himself a lot. Every conversation we had was about his work and how accomplished he was. Whenever I brought up my own work, he’d make some comment about how women are better suited at home.”

I put my hand up before Wyatt could say anything. “Don’t even get me started on that one. Anyways, we only went out for about four months before I ended things. Of course, he wasn’t thrilled about it and said some choice words that I won’t say, but he was horrible.”

“Sounds like a total prick. As if women are just meant to stay home all day and have children.”

“He made an off comment about me quitting my job once.” Even I rolled my eyes as I thought back to the comment. Like a man has any say in a woman's career or life for that matter. Some men love to think women are nothing more than just baby makers.

“But before him, there were only two other guys. One was my first ever boyfriend my freshman year of college.”

“Wait, you didn’t date until freshman year?” Wyatt asked, flicking a quick, wide-eyed glance at me before turning his attention back to the road.

“I was kinda the dorky, nerdy girl in high school that guys didn’t really like. So, when Teddy showed up in one of my classes and asked to hang out, I was smitten. We dated for 9 months until I hurt my leg. Then he left me because I was ‘too much work’.”

I fell silent for a moment, thinking about how crushed I was in my darkest time, how I was ‘too much to handle’. That my accident was all it took for him to tell me that it wasn’t working out anymore. “Anyways, a week later I saw him with someone else. Top notch guy.”

Wyatt muttered something under his breath that sounded like ‘tool’ before I continued.

“And finally, my other boyfriend my junior year.” My hands formed into fists in my lap. “He was your typical frat boy football player. Thought he was so hot and cool and when he gave me attention one night at a party, I thought I was on cloud nine. But uh…” The memories that hit me had me taking a deep breath.

“He had a temper. Only showed it behind closed doors. When the hits first started, he’d apologize, and I would instantly forgive him. I wanted to believe he didn’t mean it and it would never happen again. He was so loving in front of everyone else, showing me off as his girlfriend, but as soon as we were aloneit was a different story.” I paused, taking another deep breath, noticing Wyatt’s white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel.

“It wasn’t a good relationship. I knew that on some level, even though I denied it for a while. Wasn’t until my friends saw the bruises and marks that I finally left.” I fell quiet, my hands shaking in my lap, but I clamped them beneath my thighs to steady them. It happened years ago, but it was still hard to talk about. To remember. It was honestly the darkest part of my life.

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