Page 130 of Fear of Falling

It was unfair that someone so good and loving was gone. Life was so unfair. I quickly squashed those thoughts. I knew if I let them take over, I’d end up drowning in grief like I had when he first passed.

“But you wouldn’t believe who I met, Dad.” A teary smile spread across my face as I thought of Wyatt. “A few months ago, I got stuck in my apartment building's elevator with a stranger and guess who it was…Wyatt Boone. Yep,Wyatt Boone from the Toronto Knights.” In my head I could see my dad’s face light up at hearing Wyatt’s name.

As a diehard ice-hockey fan, my dad definitely knew who Wyatt was. I remembered the day the Knights drafted Wyatt and how my dad said the team would finally win a Cup Championship—the first in years.

Ironically, he once commented on how close in age Wyatt and I were.

‘Josie, he’s near your age and he’s quite handsome, you should try and date him’.

At the time, I waved him off, because how could someone like me end up with a guy like Wyatt? He was a celebrity here, and there was no way he’d give a nobody like me the time of day.

Yet, Dad had said the same thing almost every time we watched the Knights play. Now looking back, I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d known something I didn’t.

“You always said I should date him and I am.”

Crazy how things work sometimes.

“And he is amazing, Dad. He is seriously the greatest guy on the planet. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure he’s real and that he’s mine.”

Some days I do wake up and think I’ve dreamt it all.

But then I’ll roll over and see him lying beside me with an arm thrown over my waist and our legs entwined.

“You would like him. He’d be the first boyfriend you approved of.” I knew without a doubt Wyatt and my dad would get along the second they met.

He hadn’t approved of my ex’s, and I now understood why. He wanted me to find someone like Wyatt. Someone caring, funny, kind, and family oriented like I was. Someone who would challenge me but also keep me steady and catch me when I fell.

Wyatt was that guy for me.

“I’m happy Dad. I’m really happy. But I sometimes feel guilty because I shouldn’t be happy, not with you gone and not here to see the reason why I am. You won’t get to see me happy and in love with the man you knew one day would deserve me.”

Tears ran down my face as I placed a hand over my mouth to silence my sob.

The breeze picked up and fanned across my face, the cold brushing against my cheeks almost like a hand caressing it. Closing my eyes, I let the wind wash over my face.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there with my eyes closed, leaning into the wind. When I finally did open my eyes, a sudden feeling of ease washed over me. The sadness was still there, but for some reason the guilt wasn’t as strong.

Looking at my dad’s headstone, I wanted to believe it was a sign from him. Letting me know it was okay to be happy. That while he may not be here physically, it didn’t mean he wasn’t with me.

Sitting for a little longer, I finally sent Wyatt a text asking him to join me. I wanted my dad to meet the man who had slowly put my broken pieces back together. And I wanted Wyatt to meet the man who’d raised me all on his own and worked so hard so I could have everything I needed growing up.

A few minutes later, I heard the sound of Wyatt’s footsteps as he approached. I slowly stood, my legs almost giving out from squatting for so long. Seeing Wyatt hesitantly walking towards me I took a few steps until I could reach his hand.

Wyatt’s eyes searched my face, I wondered how I must have looked to him, with my puffy, red-rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks from crying. As his brows furrowed with concern, my heart warmed.

“Wyatt, this is my dad, Anthony. Dad…this is Wyatt.” I introduced the two. It was a bit odd and awkward introducing my boyfriend to my dad’s headstone, yet Wyatt made it seem like the most natural thing in the world as he greeted dad with ease.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir.”

I squeezed his hand, feeling the tears return.

“I want to tell you how amazing your daughter is.” Wyatt looked down at me as he spoke.

“I also want you to know that one day, I am going to ask your beautiful daughter to marry me. I promise you, I will give her the life she deserves and love her until my last breath, because she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

There was no stopping my tears now.

Damn this wonderful man.

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