Page 33 of Accidental Love

“Okay, sweetie, I will. But after you see him, I need you to come back down here so I can discharge you and tell you what medicine you have to be taking.”

I nodded quickly, just wanting the room number.

“He is on floor five, room two-forty-three.” She sent me a knowing smile before I said a quick thank you and was heading for the elevators.

I tapped my foot impatiently as the elevator took its own sweet time going up to level five. Since it was only six in the morning, no one was around and none of the patients were awake as I tried to find Liam’s room. As I passed room by room, I noticed they were full-sized rooms with a couch, chairs, and a big table. Liam definitely got one of the better rooms.

Keeping straight, I made it to the end of a hallway and saw the room number 243. The door was closed, giving me a moment to gather myself. I didn’t know if his parents were still here, but I doubted that they left. I knew what I had to do but it wasn’t going to make this any easier. My hands were shaking, but I forced them to stop and swallowed. I could do this. I had to do this.

Taking one last deep breath, I grabbed the door handle and opened the door. When I stepped in, I noticed Liam’s room was huge. I was already a couple of steps into it and had yet to see Liam or his parents, but I could hear soft sound of the TV. Trying to bring up some courage, I stepped fully into the room. Liam lay in a bed on my right, and beside him, on a chair, was Lilly, who was looking at the TV, and beside her, down on the couch, was Adam reading a book.

They must have heard the click of my heels, as they both looked up. There were a few lamps on, but I couldn’t really make out their faces. Straight ahead of me was a huge window, and through the blinds I could start to see the sun was starting to come up.

“What are you doing here?” Lilly broke the silence, standing up. Her hand gripped Liam’s.

“I, uh…” I lost the words I wanted to say.

“I told you to stay away from us. Leave now,” she bit out.

“Honey,” Adam said as he stood up and went to his wife, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“No, Adam, this is her fault. She doesn’t belong here.” The look she sent me was hard enough to cut stone.

“Lilly—” Adam started to say, but I cut him off. I needed to do this or I wouldn’t. It had to be done, even if I didn’t want to.

“No, she is right.” I steeled myself. With a firm nod to myself I straightened up as much as I could. “I…I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I am not asking for it. I know both of you are mad right now, but I hope you aren’t made at Liam for offering me a deal to marry him. He was only doing it to make you proud.” I spared a glance at Adam. “I was the stupid one to take it because I needed the money.”

“I understand that you don’t want me near Liam anymore and I will respect that. I just—” I swallowed the big lump forming in my throat. “I need to say goodbye to him before I leave. Just one final goodbye before I leave your lives forever. Can I…can I please say goodbye?” My green eyes were rapidly filling up with tears, and I knew they would fall any minute.

Lilly stared at me before looking at her husband. He gave her a small nod, to which she slumped her shoulders. She let go of Liam’s hand and moved away from him.

“You only get a minute, then you will leave or I will call security myself,” she stated firmly. Grabbing Adam’s hand, she led him past me and to the door. As Adam passed he sent me a small nod before they disappeared from my sight. I waited until I heard the door close behind me before slowly going over to Liam.

He looked so small in that bed. His huge frame didn’t seem to take up all the space it usually did. His brown hair was laying sloppily across his forehead with a bandage on the left side of his temple. With shaky hands, I grabbed his right hand with my own.

When I saw him like this I didn’t want to do what I was about to, but I knew it had to be done. I couldn’t make him keep lying to his family, who he really cared about. I could make him lie to everyone in New York. We both knew this wasn’t going to last. Even though we said we loved one another, it wouldn’t work.

“Liam, I know you can hear me right now, and I am actually glad you can’t respond because it makes this easier for me. You have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn’t know it when we first met at the club, but you are. When I first met you I thought I could never fall for someone like you. You were, no, are better then me in every way. But slowly I started to fall for your smirks and the way you cared about your friends and family. I swore to myself I wouldn’t fall for you and now here I am so deeply madly in love with you. When I thought no one could love me, you proved me wrong and those four days we spent in Barbados will always be my favorite memory. You have literally made me the happiest woman on this planet for the short period of time we were together.”

“I know right now you are wanting to interrupt me, but we both know what I am about to say is true. We were never meant to work out. From the start we were built to fall apart. Someone like you can never end up with someone like me. I’m broken, Liam, and we both know that. You need someone who is your equal, someone who you don’t have to lie about, and someone you can give your full heart to. I’m not…I’m not good enough for you. Hell, I’m not good enough for anyone and I have finally realized that.”

“It is killing me right now, knowing that I am the one who caused this, who caused you to be here in this position. If you had never met me, none of this would have happened. If I hadn’t made you sing in the car, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Everything I touch I ruin, and I can’t stay here and ruin you even more. I can’t…just can’t do it.” I hunched over, letting a sob free. Tears were flowing freely down my face at this point.

“Liam, I love you and I will always love you. I want you to know that, okay? I want you to know I have never been happier then I have when I was with you. The hole I had in my chest was replaced by you, and you were there for me through everything and I can’t thank you enough for that. But now…now we have to go our separate ways. You don’t need me anymore. You don’t need me wrecking more of your life than I already have.”

“I don’t want any of the money you promised me. It never was truly about the money. I’m going to do what your mother said and leave your life for good. Once you wake up, you will realize it is for the best. It’s for the best that I leave everyone’s life and let you start over. Because I want you to. I want you to find someone worthy of you, and I want you to hold onto her, never letting her go. I want you to forget about me and move on. It is for the best, Liam, and we both know it. You need to forget these past few months. You need to forget you knew me, but I won’t forget you. I can’t and I won’t.” I was choking on my words. I needed to get everything out before I left. I gently ran a hand through his dark locks and down his cheek.

“I am so sorry I put you through this. I am so sorry.” I laid my forehead against his, crying. “I hope one day you can forgive me. I have to go.” I forced myself to pull away from him. Wiping my cheeks, I leaned down and kissed his lips one final time. A small part of me wished he would wake up and kiss me back, but he didn’t.

“I love you, Liam. You will always be my first love, and my last. Goodbye.” Clenching his hand one last time, I made myself let him go and step back. Since I wasn’t able to be around him anymore, I sent him one last look before turning and leaving the room.

As I stepped out I glanced up at Lilly and Adam. With a small but painful nod I quickly walked away, sobs raking my body. I made it out of their sight as I turned a corner. My legs wouldn’t hold me anymore as I slumped against the wall and slid onto the floor. My head dropped between my legs, and I wrapped my arms around my middle, sobbing silently.

Silently sobbing was the worst form of crying; where sound wanted to escape your lips but nothing came out. Your lungs burned and your body shook as tears flowed freely down your face. I embraced the pain that flared up on my side, letting it consume me as well as the pain in my heart.

I didn’t know how long I sat there crying until I finally ran out of tears. I hiccupped as my cheeks dried. I knew my eyes were probably bloodshot, my cheeks puffy. Hearing footsteps and the sound of wheels coming my way, I stood up. Quickly wiping my cheeks with the back of my hands, I looked for the elevator. I needed to leave. The further I was away from Liam, the better it would be, for both of us.

With shaky legs, I headed to the elevator to go and get discharged. I ducked my head down as I entered along with a few other nurses. They were probably used to seeing people crying. I was the last one to leave the elevator and immediately went over to the desk. Thankfully, Peggy was still there.

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