Page 19 of Accidental Love

Chapter Six

“Jenna?” I heard my name again. Something inside of me knew that she knew who I was. She knew exactly who I was. Turning slowly, I came face-to-face with my mother.

Seeing my mother right in front of me made me tighten my hold on the bag with the stuffed animal. I tried not to squeeze Sky’s hand too hard. My mother’s blonde hair was perfectly curled to frame her face, and her makeup looked flawless. Definitely done by a stylist. I knew nothing about fashion, but I did know that the dress she was wearing cost more than everything I owned. Standing in front of her dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and what I thought was a nice top, I felt all the low-class that I was.

“Jenna,” she breathed, her voice cracking. I gulped, not knowing what to do. All different kinds of emotions were swirling inside of me, fighting to come out on top.

“Wenna?” The sound of Sky’s voice knocked some sense into me. I watched as my mom’s gaze left me and went onto Sky. Her mouth dropped open, and she glanced back at me. I could practically see the gears turning in her head. She thought Sky was mine.

“Jenna?” Another voice said my name. My head was starting to hurt from everyone calling my name so suddenly. Turning one last time, I noticed Sophia and Candy entering Build-A-Bear, looking at me then at my mother with confusion.

“What is going on?” Candy asked, coming to a stop beside me. I snuck a glance at my mother and saw she was only looking at me. I knew I couldn’t walk away from her. I had to talk to her no matter how much I didn’t want to. Finally, I had to face my mother.

“Can you guys give me a few minutes?” I asked, looking over at the two of them. I could see the questioning look in their eyes. When I sent them a I’ll-tell-you-later look, they nodded.

“Let’s go, sweetie,” Candy said, reaching for Sky’s hand.

“What about Wenna?”

“She’ll be back with us in a few minutes. She needs a few minutes alone.”

“Go and show them what you made,” I said, giving her a smile and a nod. With an excited nod, she grabbed her mom’s hand. When I gave them a small smile, the three of them walked out of the store and a little bit away, giving me some space.

“Jenna, m-my baby,” my mother said. She came toward me as if she wanted to hug me. I took a step back, not wanting to feel her arms around me. She flinched.

“Let’s go outside,” I said, trying hard to make sure my voice didn’t wobble. She gave me a quick nod before turning around.

“Tessa and Jake, I’ll be back in a minute. Text me when you are ready to check out,” she all but yelled. I watched as they gave her a nod, but that was it. Not waiting for her, I turned and left the store, heading to a little corner.

Jenna, you can do this. Don’t let her get to you, I chanted to myself. The only way I could get through this was put up my shield; the shield I took great care in making all my life.

“You are so beautiful, baby. Do…do you know who I am?” she asked softly. I still had my back turned to her. “I am your mother.”

I scoffed at that, finally turning to face her.

“My mother? You really think that you are one?” I bit out, feeling all my anger toward her rushing forward.

“Jenna, I—”

“How did you find out who I am?” I asked, cutting her off. Folding my arms across my chest, I made my face as unreadable as a mask.

“I saw your picture in the newspaper. After that, I, um, got some information on you,” she admitted, looking nervous. She licked her red-stained lips while playing with her fingers in front of her. “Y-You are Jenna Howard, right?”

“Yes I am…Mother.” I could almost see the question of “how” on the tip of her tongue. “I knew the moment I saw you at the gala a few weeks ago.” A flash of guilt ran through her eyes. Yes, she better feel guilty for not recognizing me.

“I am so sorry, Jenna. I know you don’t believe me, but I had a good reason.”

“A good reason?” I laughed out loud at that one. “A good reason such as leaving me to live a better life for yourself? For not taking me with you?”

“I—”

“No, you don’t have a good reason for leaving me when I was just five years old, on a curb. Whatever fucked up reason you think you have is not a valid one.” I growled out, trying hard not to yell. Everything I had ever wanted to say to her was waiting to burst free. After fourteen years I was finally talking to my so-called mother. “You do not leave your five-year-old daughter just so you can be with a guy. How fucked up are you?”

“I didn’t leave you for a guy,” Karen said. I was done referring to her as my mother.

“I am not stupid. I know you left because you fell in love with Martin Brotherson. All these years I thought you left because you had to, that you would actually have a good enough reason but you don’t. ‘Because you fell in love with some guy’ is not good enough to make me forgive you.” I was beyond caring that my words hurt her. I wanted her to know just how I felt when she left, and how I still felt.

“I did not mean to fall for him, Jenna. It just happened. I was a twenty-three-year-old with a five-year-old daughter not knowing what to do. I was stupid and made the worst decision of my life. Giving you up has haunted me ever since.”

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