Page 23 of Accidental Attraction

Gathering as much strength as I could and telling myself over and over again that this was the best thing for Jenna, I woke her up early in the morning. Gathering her favorite teddy bear and a jacket, I led her out of the apartment and to the car. The entire ride Jenna kept asking where we were going, but I didn’t answer. This was for the best. Jenna deserved a great life, and I was being selfish by keeping her. Or at least that was what I tried to tell myself. I had found a good orphanage the other day. I parked the car a little bit away, and I got Jenna out and walked toward the house.

“Jenna, I need you to stay right here for me, okay?” I said the moment we came to the house.

“Mommy, where are we? Where are you going?” she asked. Her green eyes looked up at me, confused.

“Mommy is just going to go somewhere for a little while, but I will be back,” I lied. “Be a good girl and stay here. I have to go.” I took a step back, but a little hand wrapping around my wrist stopped me.

“But, Mommy, I want to go with you!” Jenna said, clenching her teddy bear to her chest with one arm. Sliding down onto my knees, I put my hands on her little shoulders and looked into her eyes.

“Honey, I will be back soon. I just need you to stay right here until I get back.”

“I don’t want to stay here,” she whined.

“Jenna. Be a good girl and listen to Mommy,” I said, my voice stern. I couldn’t stay here much longer, because the sun would be up and the orphanage would be open.

“I want you to know I love you, Jenna. I’ll be back soon,” I said, placing a kiss on her forehead. I lingered there a little longer, feeling tears starting to gather in my eyes. I had to let her go. She deserved better than me. Forcing myself back up, I turned and walked away, hearing Jenna crying softly behind me. I had to force my legs to keep walking. If I didn’t, I would have turned right around. With every step I took, my heart broke a little more. I thought I was doing what was best, for both of us. Letting one tear slip out of my eye, I got in the car and quickly drove away.

Jenna, I will always love you, and I hope you forgive me one day. With that, I left Jenna behind and headed to Martin’s house.

***

I jolted awake with tears sliding down my face. I choked back a sob. I hadn’t dreamt of that night in so long, but every time I did, my heart broke even more. Fourteen years since I’d left my baby at the doorstep of an orphanage. Over time I had beaten myself up about my stupid decision. I was young and very stupid for thinking I could leave my five-year-old daughter by herself to start a new life. I was so focused on Martin and my so-called “new, fantastic” life that I didn’t even think about her. I was a terrible mother.

I had thought about trying to find Jenna over the years, but I figured I shouldn’t. I did not want to disrupt her life. She probably had a loving family and was in college somewhere, living her life. I couldn’t just find her and say, “Hey, I am your mother. The one who abandoned you all those years ago for my selfish desires.” I was now in my forties and had two other children of my own. I loved them so much, and even thinking about leaving them like I did my first made me hate myself all the more. I got pregnant with the twins a year after marrying Martin. It wasn’t until I had them and had seen Martin with them did I realize how much I loved being a mother. After giving birth to them, I tried my hardest to be the mother everyone would be proud of. I wanted to be like my own mother, who was amazing and was always there for me.

My life with Martin was great. Fourteen years later, we still loved each other like the moment we met. He still made my stomach erupt with butterflies and my heart race. It really was the life I had always wanted.

But there was still the one big thing I regretted so much. If I could, I would go back in an instant and take Jenna with me. I would always regret what I did and live with it the rest of my life.

Seeing as I was a mess, I quickly got up to wash my face and calm down. I didn’t want Martin to see me like this. He could be very protective. After calming down and freshening up, I left the bathroom just as he was getting up.

“Hey, honey,” he said in his deep morning voice. Smiling, I went over to him and kissed him. Even to this day there were sparks when we kissed. “You were up early this morning.”

“Yeah, I am just happy to be seeing the twins today,” I said, half lying. It was true I couldn’t wait to see my babies. I hadn’t seen them in three weeks.

“How about I go and make you some breakfast before we go get them?” Martin asked, grinning at me. I smiled and kissed him one last time before stepping out of his arms.

“I’ll meet you down there.” Sending him a wink, I left the bedroom and headed downstairs to the kitchen. I grabbed things from the fridge to get breakfast started, and I heard Martin’s footsteps entering the kitchen.

“I am supposed to make you breakfast,” he said, setting the newspaper down on the counter.

“You were taking too long.”

“Go sit down and read the paper, woman!” he instructed, swatting me on the butt before grabbing my hips and moving me away from the stove. I rolled my eyes and laughed at him, but I did as he said. With the paper in hand, I went to the table and sat down. Martin came over with a cup of coffee, just the way I liked it, before getting started on breakfast. Taking a sip of my coffee, I opened the paper, all of a sudden choking on the hot liquid. On the front page it read:

Liam Stanford and fiancé, Jenna Howard, made their first appearance at his father’s company’s Benefit last night. His fiancé looked stunning in a simple red dress, and Liam looked handsome, as always, in a black-and-white tux. The pair announced their engagement earlier this week, surprising all of us. No one knows who this Jenna Howard is, but we have to say we are already liking them together. They haven’t announced the date of the big day, but we are hoping soon. The two are quickly becoming New York’s favorite couple.

Jenna Howard? Jenna? Howard? Jenna? There couldn’t be another girl with that same name, right? The girl I met last night was Jenna, my little baby girl?

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