Page 88 of Just a Distraction

Stella nods. “You didn’t think it was as important or cool as what your brothers do?”

“Exactly. Maybe I had to wait to get validation from a publishing deal to sort of prove that it’s a viable career option.” I frown.

She shakes her head, her silver, asymmetrical cut never moving. “You have nothing to prove, Milo. We love you just exactly the way you are.”

“I know. I just felt like a bit of a nerd, and you know how I don’t want to feel like that with my brothers.”

She scrunches up her nose. “Itisa little nerdy.” She laughs and gathers me in a perfumed hug. “But I’m going to devour that book as soon as it comes out. I’m so proud of you, Milo, and can’t wait to read your words.”

She’s misty-eyed when she pulls away. “Everyone else downstairs is looking at Turnip, trying to find your book there, but they can’t. Sebastian even created an account. We’re all anxious to read it.”

Sebastian made a Turnip account? Now I’ve seen everything. “It was removed from Turnip in anticipation of the publication. But the book will come out soon enough.”

Stella regards me carefully. “It would have been nice if Rose had been here to celebrate this.”

“Yes, it would have.” I hesitate and then continue on. “She knew about my writing. She read the book on Turnip even before she knew it was me. She used to help me with plot points and stuff.”

Stella’s eyes narrow softly. “How’s your heart holding up?”

“It’s seen better days, to be honest. But I’m managing.”

She nods, waits quietly, and then changes the subject. She knows me well enough to know that I don’t want to say anything more about Rose.

Late into the night, after the buzz of my big revelation has settled, my mind starts churning.

Not about a new book.

My mind starts picking through a plan to see Rose again, sorting through the options.

I just hope it’s possible.

I have to try one last time.

Chapter 34

Rose

Callum screams. Again.

I cradle him and tilt my head to the side so my ear can rest against my shoulder. Maybe that will muffle the sound some because my son’s lungs are something else.

He tries again to rip the blood pressure cuff off his arm, so the nurse at the ER finally just removes it for him. It’s small, just right for his age, and it even has trucks printed all over it. But he doesn’t care a bit.

“We’ll try again when he feels a little calmer,” she tells me, her eyes twinging in sympathy.

I’d gotten him settled in his crib last night and had just begun a study session when I heard him cry out. It wasn’t his usual,I don’t want to sleep right nowcry. Usually, he only needs meto get him up and rock him some more until he’s ready to go back to bed. And I’m happy to do that. But I knew instantly that something was wrong.

He was standing in his crib, holding his ear, crying. There was fluid streaked with blood on his sheets and pajamas.

So, yeah. Nothing prepares a mom for that, even though I’m studying nursing. You’d think that would take some of the fear away, but it doesn’t. If anything, it makes it worse.

I checked his ears with my otoscope and as best as I could tell, his left eardrum had ruptured, and his right ear looked horribly inflamed. With my heart in my throat, I drove him straight to the off-campus emergency department and we’ve been here ever since.

The nurse brings me a juice box for him, which ends up being the only thing that calms him down. I knew from my studies and because I’m a big medical nut as it is, that patients presenting with OME—otitis media with effusion—can often feel relief when the eardrum ruptures because a lot of the pressure is released. But his pain only seemed to intensify.

When the attending physician confirmed a severe, double middle ear infection, I felt a small sense of calm. At least they can treat this. They got him set up on some medicines and are just waiting for his fever to go down. Then they’ll send us home.

I’m tired. It’s past one a.m. And the gaping loneliness of doing this on my own is a chasm I can’t pretend away anymore.

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