Page 38 of Just a Distraction

There’s nothing wrong with it, and in a fairytale land in which she and I are together, it’s actually kind of a cool thought. I love kids. My niece Navie means the world to me. I’m excited thatSophie and Oliver and Henry and Quinn are expecting. They’ve all settled down. They’ve all found love, and I want the same, too.

I still have a lot to learn. But the thought of Rose being a mom isn’t a problem, and I want to convey that to her.

We’re not dating, and we won’t be in the near future, either. We’re just friends, so what would a friend say in this situation? I pace around the penthouse suite, my thoughts going every which way.

I can do the friends-only thing. If that’s the only possibility with her right now, I have to be okay with that. But how do I convey that I see her as more than that without crossing a boundary?

I sit down, stop agonizing over it, and try to begin.

Dear Rose,

I’ve never told you this, but your mouth is like a dewy rosebud: lush and inviting.

I snarl out a groan, wad the paper up and throw it in the waste basket. I grab another paper and try again.

Dear Rose,

Thinking about Blaine makes me want to break his jawbone and his nose.

Shaking my head, I throw that one in the trash, too, and start again.

Dear Rose,

Want to come to a writer’s conference in Texas with me this fall? We could visit the stockyards and the Alamo and the Silos and meet Chip and Joanna, if that’s your thing. Doesn’t matter. Because we’d be together and that’s all I care about.

I’m tempted to gouge my eyes out; this is so bad. I destroy the evidence of that one and take a deep breath, attempting to blow out all the nonsense from my brain.

Hey Rose,

You mentioned the kiss we shared six months ago. And I want to make it clear that kissing someone when I first meet them, I’ve never done that. I know guys like me, fresh out of college, from a family with means, have a reputation, but believe it or not, I’ve never done that.

Why am I trying to defend myself?

I don’t know why I’m writing all this out. But that kiss? It’s haunted my dreams—in all the best ways—ever since. And it wasn’t the fact that I was in the hospital contemplating the preciousness of life—I wasn’t, haha—it was the fact that it was you.

Look. You being a mother? It’s cool. It doesn’t change how I feel.

And I’ll still respect your wishes to not get involved. I’m sure being a parent is a complication I can’t even begin to understand.

When there’s a knock at the door, I shove the paper, my pen, and the wax and seal in the desk drawer and go to open the door. Good. Maybe stepping away from letter writing is a good idea. I can sense I’m getting closer, but I probably have a few more drafts to go before I’d even consider giving it to her.

I open the door. “Sebastian? Hey. You’re working late.”

He’s frowning—no surprise there. He throws a glance over his shoulder. “No time for chit chat. Hey, um. You’re getting a roommate.” He blows past me, around the corner, to the front room of the suite, shaking his head. “Has housekeeping not been coming?”

“I told them to only come once a week. No use wasting their time on me.”

“This is my suite, Milo. I want it kept clean.”

“It is.” I glance at the microwavable meal carton on the counter and the stacks of books on the coffee table andentertainment center. “It’s not that bad. You caught me off guard, that’s all.”

“This carpet needs to be vacuumed. And the glass doors need to be cleaned.” He picks up the carton on the counter, his brows raised in a question as he stares at me before throwing it in the garbage can.

He used to live here in this suite before building his house on top of the mountain, the house that he now lives in with his wife, Elianna, and their dog, Destiny’s Child. His office is right next door to this suite, so I get his concern, but really? It’s fine.

“It’s not that bad,” I say again. “But I’ll tidy up before my new roommate gets here.” A groan escapes me. “Incidentally, who is my new roommate?”

And does this mean this person gets the bedroom and I’m sleeping on the couch? As the youngest in the family, I got used to that as a kid.

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