Page 27 of Just a Distraction

The reimbursement spreadsheet work I’m doing is tedious, but it allows me to be with my brothers, which is great most of the time. Except when they’re arguing about toilet paper.

I’m not ungrateful for the job. I realize it’s a privilege. It’s good money. And technically, I’m an independent contractor doing this very niche financial work. So I’m in the inner circle, but not fully. I have this secret thing going on the side that I love.

No one knows about the vise gripping my throat every time I think about my future.

“Hello. Earth to Milo.” Oliver’s in front of me, snapping his fingers.

“Sorry. I zoned out from the inane toilet paper discussion.”

They both give me a look likeNo you did not.

“He’s thinking of his mystery woman, Gloria,” Alec says.

They’re referring to six months ago, when everything changed on that Friday night. When I came for a family hangout the next day in a daze. A sloppy grinned, messy daze. First of all, it was certainly about sleep deprivation. I hadn’t had a wink all night. That was the biggest thing, no doubt. And the fact that I’d taken an ambulance ride for the humiliating incident on the baby swing in a park.

I’d gotten to spend time with Rose. Not “Gloria.” But when I wouldn’t spill the mystery woman’s name or anything about her, my brothers ended up having to improvise. They started calling her Gloria because they said it looked like I was singing Handel’s Messiah in my head all the time after that. You know? Something about the glory of the Lord.

Anyway. Sometimes I wonder if I’d been imagining the whole thing because she was too good to be true. To say she’s taken up too much space in my head these past six months is an understatement.

I’m not proud of this, but I broke my promise to her once. I went back to Casa del Cibo. I had a whole speech planned. I was going to ask her to let me remedy the horrible ending to our Night ‘O Fun by taking her out for real. A real, proper date. I risked her ire by going back on the promise I’d made to not pay her a visit because I figured I’d always regret it if I didn’t.

But she wasn’t there. I asked Jordo the busboy if she still worked there and he told me she’d quit a few weeks before.

I had no idea where to find her or what to do, cursing that I had let her talk me into her plan of making this a one-time thing. All that talk about “we both know what this is.”

No, I hadn’t known. I certainly didn’t want to never see her again. That wasn’t where I was at all. But Rose wasn’t interested.I couldn’t change her mind without losing all my dignity—the tiny bit that was left after the baby swing debacle.

Thus, the pining for her for the last six months. Seeing her in a crowd and starting to approach her, only to realize it’s not actually her. Catching the scent of crisp cucumber and thinking of her. Reliving our kiss in my mind.

My family is right: there was an incident with a woman that made me lose my ever-loving mind. And as much as they tease me about it—seriously, it comes up far too often—I’m not going to say a word.

“Yep, Gloria,” I say, rolling my eyes. “You ever stop to think that the reason I zone out has less to do with some woman and more to do with your stupid conversations?”

“Alright then. What do you want to talk about? I’m up for anything.” Oliver sits down on the sofa and crosses one leg over the other. “Except maybe leave out the talk about babies for a hot second? I’m pumped to be a dad, but Sophie and I talked about car seats for three hours last night. Three hours.” He stares at each one of us in turn, like we have to understand how hard that was for him.

“Any talk about kids would be better than talk about toilet paper,” I retort.

“Let’s talk about Milo’s social life,” Alec says.

“I’d rather talk about toilet paper,” I say.

“You know, there are a lot more single women in Denver than there are here in Longdale.” Oliver says.

Longdale is a small town near Rocky Mountain National Park, about an hour northwest of Denver. Growing up, we lived most of the year in a suburb of Denver, but our summers were spent on Longdale Lake with our Aunt Stella.

“You could go stay with Mom and Dad on the weekends and try to find someone up there,” Alec says.

A flash of an image of Rose hits my brain again. “No need. I do just fine.”

I’ve been on a few dates in the past several months. All great women. Nice women.

None of them are Rose.

Blessedly, my brothers opt to stop bothering me about women. They change the subject to the great equalizer: sports. It’s NBA Playoffs time, one of my personal favorites.

I leave a couple of minutes early for lunch, and Alec and Oliver follow me down to the corner eatery on the main floor.

This is one of my favorite parts of the job. On any given day, I get to have lunch with one or more of my brothers.

---