Page 49 of Defiant

That made some sense; these were the only ones that could work remotely. So why not keep them all in one secure place? Again, the Superiority proved its paranoia and willingness to rely on a few highly important facilities.

I needed to find a way to get to that slug. I’d promised her I would—but it might take until the Superiority itself was dismantled. So I put the problem aside for now.Any update from Peg?I sent to M-Bot, hopeful as I waited in my cockpit.

Not yet,he replied.

We’d waited as long as we could for her to proceed before returning to Detritus. That, however, had obviously given Jorgen plenty of time to find out what we’d done. We finally got permission to land, and I led the ships into the hangar we’d left hours ago.

I immediately spotted Jorgen in the long window overlooking the flight deck. He stood in a brilliant white uniform, hands clasped behind his back, medals shining on his breast. Face like stone.

Yeah. I deserved that.

As we climbed from our ships, I asked the others to take the two resonants and show them around the place, then see if we could get them quarters. I told the team that I would talk to Jorgen.

He didn’t move to stop them as they scampered away. I walked up to the window, and though I didn’t hear him bark the command, I could see the technicians inside the room flooding out the back doors. Jorgen remained standing in place. Waiting.

Well, I’d picked this fight. I would approach it with a warrior’s dignity. I used the side door, stepping into the ops room—which was now empty, save for Jorgen. I strode right up to him, then waited for my dressing down.

Silence. He just stared out at our ships. Giving me time to sweat—a time-tested tool in the commander’s toolbox.

I let the silence hang. I was confident I’d done what needed to be done.

“I thought I knew what it would cost,” Jorgen finally said. He rested a gloved hand on the glass. “That’s why I fought it.”

“…Sir?” I asked.

“I thought that maybe if I flew well enough,” he continued,“they’d let me remain a pilot. Let me stay on that side of the glass. Smell the engines, feel the hum of the ship, hear the chatter of my friends. Then…I wasneeded.” He closed his eyes. “I figured I could escape any order that tried toforceme out of the cockpit—but I was wrong. Because I eventually got one I couldn’t ignore. From my own conscience.”

He opened his eyes and looked at me, finally. “So here I am. On this side of the glass. Maybe forever. It ripped me apart to walk away from my ship, knowing that—by taking command—I was giving up something I loved. I didn’t fully understand though. I didn’t realize I’d stop being one of you, and would become the thing you resent.”

“We don’t resent you, Jorgen.”

“You do, and you always have,” he said. “I was ‘Jerkface’ from thestart. But at least I was with you. I wasoneof you, even if I was the one you grumbled about.” He sighed. “I knew I was giving up my dreams of flying. I didn’t know I was giving up my friends too.”

Scud. This was fightingdirty.I was supposed to be the one who did that.

“Jorgen,” I said, stepping closer. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Do you understand what it does to my authority whenyou,of all people, disobey me?” he snapped. “When you treat these bars on my shoulders like they aren’t worth the cloth they’re made of?Youundermineme, Spensa. From thefirst day we met,you’ve always undermined me.”

I fell silent. He…he was hurting. I couldfeelit radiating from him like heat from a forge.

“I’ve tried so hard to ignore it,” he said. “I know your background; I know how you were treated because of your father. I know you have a problem with authority, and I try not to take it personally. Butdamn you,Spensa. Can’t you at leasttryto show some respect? If not for my position, then forme? You come to my rooms, treat me like someone you love, then you dothis? How am I supposed to react? What do you want from me?”

“I did thisfor you,” I said. “I saw how the decisions were tearing you apart, and I wanted to protect you.”

“You don’t get to make that choice!” he shouted, waving a hand at the ships. “That’s what military discipline isall about.Come andtellme if there’s a problem,talkto me about it. Don’t hijack my most decorated pilots and go off on a scudding rogue mission! Don’t put me in a position where I have to either discipline my friends or accept that I have no authority!”

“They insisted on coming,” I said. “I didn’t want—”

“Is that relevant?” he demanded. “You did it, even if you didn’t want to!”

“And you went against Stoff’s authority in taking command!” I shouted back at him. “Because you felt like you had to! Well, I felt I had to do this.”

He put his hand to his face, trying to wipe off some of the sweat, and turned away from me. Looking out at the ships again. “The enemy has reinforced every strategic position,” he said. “All of the supply depots except the one you struck have been protected with dozens of ships—and likely an equal number of inhibitors. We’ll never attack them successfully now. I’ve called off the strike.”

“You won’t need it anyway,” I said.

He narrowed his eyes, his face reflected faintly in the glass in front of him. “What did you do?”

---