Page 30 of Defiant

She’s unnerving,M-Bot said in my mind.I don’t trust her, Spensa. I hope you don’t either.

“I don’t,” I assured him, hurrying back to the portal. “I think I might have tricked her though. It—”

My words fell short as the corridor suddenly became very crowded. FM, Arturo, and Kimmalyn appeared, standing around Alanik in a ring, their hands on the UrDail’s shoulders, slugs fluting and cooing from their slug holsters.

Alanik eyed me. “It is customary to warn others before you use your powers to jump,” she said. “You do not know this, as you were not raised around other cytonics, but leaving so abruptly can be disorienting for those nearby.”

“Noted,” I said, more annoyed at her than embarrassed. They were my powers. I could decide what was appropriate and what wasn’t. I didn’t need an alien reprimanding me.

“So, what are we doing here?” Arturo asked, his hands on his hips. “Checking out the portal into the nowhere? We were talking about that before you slugged off, Spensa.”

Slugged off? I wasn’t sure what I thought of that particular piece of slang. Regardless, I walked back to the right spot and placed my hand on the wall. I could feel the heat of Igneous, the city where I’d grown up, pulsing from a nearby chamber. Sweat trickled down my temple.

“We need to know how easy it is to get through one of these,” I said, patting the portal. “I’ve told you all about my pirate friends in the nowhere. Perhaps we should talk to them. They might be able to help.”

“These portals are dangerous,” Alanik said, sounding stern. “Your own grandmother ended up trapped in one. And you got sucked into a dangerous realm by touching one.”

Gosh, thanks,I thought.I hadn’t remembered that, Mom.

I’d spent so many days during my time at Starsight wondering about Alanik and what she was like. I hadnotexpected to find her so bossy.

“If they’re dangerous, we need to know,” I said. “That’s part of why I came alone.”

“Spin,” Arturo said, “you need to stop being so reckless. You’re basically our entire space force.”

“We have to take risks, Amphi,” I snapped, pressing my hand against the portal again. “We do it every time we fight.Someonehas to figure out how these portals work; they offer a huge tactical advantage. And I have the most experience.”

“The delvers—” Kimmalyn started.

“Are frightened of me,”I said. “They hide when I hyperjump. I haven’t seen the eyes in almost two weeks now.”

The others grew silent. When I glanced at them, I saw a collection of baffled—even intimidated—expressions.

“The delvers arefrightenedof you?” FM said.

Right. I hadn’t actually explained that to them, had I?

Well, I was a weapon. I reaffirmed that belief to myself. I’d been weak earlier, but I couldn’t afford weakness. It didn’t matter if I was divided off, isolated from others. Didn’t matter if everything was different, wrong, broken.

This was what I needed to do. This was what I needed to be.

I closed my eyes, feeling at the portal, and tried to push through it. I’d done this on the other side several times, looking for a way out. On those occasions, I’d always hit some kind of wall. The explanation, which had made sense to me, was that the portal had been locked on this side. Perhaps to keep the delvers in.

This time, I encountered no lock. I found a vast, inviting poolof darkness—a tunnel leading toward infinity. The nowhere lay before me, an expanse that was at the same time as small as the point of a pin. A place where time wrapped upon itself, and where…

Wait. This was wrong.

I felt Alanik’s mind brush mine, asking if I was all right. I replied that I was, and suggested she back off for now. She did, leaving me to explore what I was feeling.

This placewaswrong. I wasn’t certain what tipped me off. The sight, the cytonic resonance, the smell…none of those described it perfectly, but together they meant something. This wasn’t the nowhere. It wasn’t where I wanted to go.

I yanked back as something tried to close around me. I was out in a moment, in that corridor again. I gasped, pulling my hands away. Scud. Everyone had fetched chairs from somewhere. What…

“How long was I gone?” I asked.

“Four hours,” Arturo said. “A little less, actually.”

“Alanik said you were confident everything was all right,” Kimmalyn added. “We set up here to wait, just in case. Are you…are you okay?”

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