Page 61 of Defiant

“Thank you,” he said. “Smiling does help.”

“We could go to the firing range and blow some stuff up,” I offered, “if you want somerealtherapy.”

“Yes. Perhaps later? You seemed concerned earlier. Can I help you in turn?”

I knocked my head backward against the frame of the door, where I was still sitting, one foot up on the opposite side. “Yeah. That.”

“I’m sorry. Would you rather not be reminded?”

“No, I came out looking for advice,” I said. “Brade wants to duel me.”

“Ah. You two are like a pair of celestial bodies, drawn to conflict by forces you cannot control. I am not, therefore, surprised.”

“I think it’s a good idea,” I said to him. “I can beat her and remove her from Winzik’s arsenal.”

“As I have yet to meet a pilot who can best you in a fair fight, I’m inclined to agree with that assessment. Assuming we can be certain it’s not a trap.”

“Yeah. Any…idea how to do that?”

“Scout the area ahead of time,” he said. “Agree to both place an inhibitor slug before entering the region. Maybe even send in a decoy first.”

“Smart.”

“I’m simply adapting the actions taken by Jilo in theEpic of Jilo. But I appreciate your faith in me.”

“So we do those things,” I said. “Except…”

“Jorgen?” he guessed.

“Yeah. Jorgen. He’s going to say no. He’ll worry I’m risking myself needlessly, and a duel is totally against protocol—even though once a battle starts we’re basically just dueling each other anyway, so protocols are stupid. WishIwere an emperor.”

“Life is in many ways simpler when one is an absolute authority, capable of deciding whatever one wants. But there are huge drawbacks as well, Spin, to such a calling.”

“I suppose,” I said, closing my eyes. “Do you think…maybe…I’m like you? That everyone would be better off if I stayed away? If I flew off somewhere and never bothered them again? Then nobody would get hurt trying to keep up with me. I could just do what needed to be done—and Jorgen wouldn’t get into trouble, because I wouldn’t be under his command.”

Hesho didn’t reply.

“Hesho?” I asked, cracking an eye.

“I am thinking that I have burdened you with my own terrible thoughts,” he admitted. “That if I had not spoken of my isolation, you would not be thinking of adopting the same sensibility.That I should have remained isolated from you for your own good. That it would be for the best if I left…”

I rolled over and went down on my stomach, putting myself at eye level with Hesho. “No,” I said to him. “Pleasedon’t be like that, Hesho. Not to me. I’m, like, an interdimensional monster or something. If one of us is bad for the other, it’sme.”

“Thus, we both persist in the same worry. Perhaps we are both wrong.”

“Agreed,” I said. “We stick together. You and me, at least. All right?” I held out my fist for a little fist bump.

He considered. “Fate declared that I should be your companion, and it was the path to my sanity,” he finally decided. “I accept your words.” He solemnly removed his mask, then reached up and tapped my fist with one of his claws.

“Good,” I said.

“So what do we do?” he asked, replacing his mask. “About Brade? Sneak off in the night like assassins?”

I wavered.

Scud, Jorgen wouldkillme.

And I’d deserve it. “No,” I said. “I’m going to go talk to Jorgen first and get permission.”

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