Page 48 of Yumi and the Nightmare Painter

“You had a spirit here,” she said, “and you didn’tmentionit to me?”

“I didn’t know she was a spirit,” Painter said.

“I’ve told you,” Design said, lounging with her elbows on the bar. “I’ve told basically everyone. They ignore me. If I were a more vengeful bit of God, I’d be offended. Fortunately, I’m eccentric instead. It’s endearing.”

“She always says strange things like that,” Painter said, still addressing Yumi. “How was I to know she was being truthful rather than crazy?”

Design leaned in toward Yumi and spoke in a conspiratorial tone. “I don’t think Nikaro paid much attention to what I was saying. In his defense, he was staring at my butt the whole time.”

Painter blushed something fierce. “That’s in mydefense?”

“Sure,” Design said, turning, “it’s an honest explanation. I mean, it is a remarkably nice butt, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t think you’d noticed I’d been…looking,” Painter said, wilting.

“Kid, womenalwaysnotice. I’ve only been one for a few years, and evenIknow that.”

“I…” Yumi said, “don’t thinkI’dnotice.” She continued eating the food, which was more incredible with every bite. But now that her hunger had finally begun to be satiated, she was feeling drowsy. She’d lasted far longer this excursion into Painter’s world than last time, but she wasn’t certain how much longer she could remain awake.

“Can you help us, Design?” Painter was asking. “Can you find a way to fix what has happened to us?”

“I don’t know,” Design said. “I’m…not terribly good at this sort of thing. The guy you want is Hoid. He’s a pain in the butt—remarkableones and common ones alike—but he understands Realmatic Theory better than anyone I know.”

(It’s nice to be appreciated.)

“Great,” Painter said. “So where is he?”

Design pointed. Yumi turned to see the statue by the door, posed to hold people’s coats and bags when they entered. That…was an actual person? Or perhaps another spirit? That made sense to Yumi, as the spirits she called often became stone or metal when transformed.

“Oh,” Painter said. “Him. You…told me about him the other day. I didn’t believe you.”

“Can we wake him up?” Yumi asked.

“You’re welcome to try,” she said. “I’ve been tryingforever. Granted, as I told you, I’m not the best at this sort of thing. Ihave, however, established a reputable restaurant with a loyal clientele and learned to makeseventeenkinds of noodles. That was on my list of human experiences to try, so I have to say, the visit here has been rather successful.”

(Sigh. Of all the spren I could have bonded…)

“So,” Painter said (lowly), “you’re saying you’re useless?”

“Painter!” Yumi hissed. “You can’t speak to a spirit that way.”

“Yes he can,” Design said. “I’ve insulted him like twice today already. He’s owed a shot back.”

“My apologies, honored spirit,” Yumi said (highly).

“Stop that.” Design rapped her on the head again. Which wasdemonstrablyunfair.

“Painter,” Design continued, “I’ll try to think of something I can do, but this world of yours? It’sstrange. The strangest I’ve visited—and I’ve been toThrenody. You have nightmares that come alive? Creeping out of a miasma of raw Investiture? That’s the kind of stuff you get on a planet when agodhas beenkilled.

“It’s what we came here to learn about. Well, whatHoidcame here to learn about. But he turned into a statue the moment we arrived, andIwas left to experiment at being a small business owner running one of the most notoriously difficult varieties of startup. Here, have a coupon.”

She actually delivered one to Yumi, who naturally had no idea what to make of it.

“Anyway,” Design continued, “I’ll need time to think. Maybe the shroud and the nightmares are connected to what has happened to you two? I didn’t realize the other planet was involved. That might explain some of this. Regardless, for now I have other customers. And your body, Nikaro, is about to fall asleep in its soup.”

Indeed, Yumi was beginning to droop. She finished a few more bites, then went to excuse herself to Akane and the others—feeling mortified that she’d spent the entire meal apart from them after being invited. She told them that she’d been grabbed by Design and hadn’t wanted to be rude by leaving. They appeared to accept that, but Yumi could tell—as she and Painter walked out—that the group thought she was odd.

“I’ve offended them,” she said softly.

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