Yet no one is who they seem – Harper knows this more than most.
‘Were you in contact with him after Kate’s attack?’
Mona shakes her head. ‘I told you – I had to avoid them all. He approached me at school, though, on the first day we went back, to try and explain himself. He apologised to me for what happened in the woods. Said he’d had a lot to drink and he was sorry for how he behaved. But he had nothing to apologise for. I knew what I was doing.’ She sighs. ‘Kian and I never spoke again.’
‘When did you hear about Kate’s attack?’ Harper asks.
‘From people at school. Everyone was talking about it. Imagine if we’d had social media then. But it was just word of mouth. At first, I felt awful for Kate. First she’d lost Kian, even though he was never hers to lose, and then she got attacked. I even went to her house to try and see her but her mum told me she didn’t want to see anyone. But then I saw a picture of Graham White and I recognised him straight away. I’d seen her talking to him in the park once and assumed he was just one of her mum’s friends. I don’t even remember if I asked her. I didn’t even tell Faye Held this – you’re the first person I’ve admitted it to. Because now, I know I should have mentioned it. But I was fifteen. I didn’t know what to do. And Kate was my friend.’
‘But the police investigated,’ Harper says. ‘They would have found out if Kate had known Graham White.’
‘I don’t know if sheknewhim. Properly. I just know that they’d bumped into each other in the park because they were talking. Who knows what that means? Anyway, they weren’t looking into all that. They believed her story about being thrown into the van. There was no CCTV that picked anything up. And what reason would they have to doubt it? She was a child, and he was a grown man. Case closed.’
Harper struggles to piece this all together. Even though Mona Shaw is growing on her, she wonders if things might have played out differently if Mona hadn’t kept this to herself all these years. If she’d just told someone – anyone – then there might be a chance Kate would never have met Jamie.
‘That day was the day my life spiralled out of control,’ Mona says. I’d be living a completely different life if it wasn’t for what Kate did. I had every right to be with Kian that day – and she knew it. It was me he liked.’
Harper doesn’t care about any of that. She only wants to know what Kate has done. To Jamie and to Graham White. ‘I need to know the truth, Mona. Do you think Kate killed Graham White on purpose? Nothing you say will go any further than this.’ Harper taps her head. ‘I promise. I just need to know.’
There’s a heavy silence, and Harper listens to the roar of traffic coming from the other side of the trees, silently praying for the outcome she needs. When she can bear the waiting no more, she turns to Mona. ‘Well? Can you help me?’
‘I really think she did it on purpose,’ Mona says. ‘And if she can do it once, what’s to stop her doing it again? Justice needs to be served.’
TWENTY-FIVE
2006
Kate has barely left the house this summer. She was allowed to leave school and study for her GCSEs in college, with a small group of children who can’t deal with the school environment. To start with they’d terrified her, but slowly she began to get to know them, and that’s when it hit her that fundamentally everyone is the same under all the complex layers we think make us who we are.
And now she’s finished her A levels and got a place at Brighton University, and the thought of leaving South Norwood is the only thing that keeps her sane. Her mum’s been working on getting them out of there – but the house has only just sold, and even then they’ve had to take thousands off the asking price. But her mum has never once complained, or made Kate feel guilty for this disruption to their lives.
Sometimes, even though it’s been three years since Graham White, Kate catches her mum staring at her. And she never wants to ask what her mum is thinking.
Kate looks around the house and barely recognises it – packing boxes stacked against every wall in the house, blank white walls with darker shadows where photos once hung. Kate’s hoping that the ghosts of her past will stay here in this house, while she puts miles between them. But there’s one thing she needs to do to help that happen.
‘I’m going out for a bit,’ she says.
Her mum glances up from her book, with that anxious look on her face again. But Kate’s eighteen now – she’s an adult and her mum needs to let her go.
‘Oh. Where?’ her mum asks. ‘I thought we could play Scrabble again.’
Her mum hates Scrabble, and they’ve been playing all summer. Kate humours her because she knows her mum can’t cope when Kate leaves the house. Not since Graham White. How different things would have been if that day had never happened. Kate often ponders what kind of person she would be now. But still, the anger that’s been there since she was a child is always within her, lying low, waiting to erupt.
‘Just for a walk. Maybe to the high street. Might look around the shops.’
Her mum frowns. She knows Kate hates shopping and would rather spend her time drawing. ‘That’s a lovely idea. I’ll come with?—’
‘I’d rather go alone. If you don’t mind.’
A shadow passes across her mum’s face, and Kate can’t bear to see the sadness on it. She leans down to give her a hug. ‘I won’t be long, Mum.’
Kate’s known where Jennifer Seagrove lives since it happened. Even though this is London, people still talk. They take pleasure in pointing out where horrific things have happened. And Jennifer was talked about a lot that year.
She often comes here, sitting on the wall across the road, pretending she’s waiting for someone instead of watching Jennifer from afar. Kate is intrigued that Jennifer still wants to live here – shouldn’t she want to be far from the ghost of Graham White, with whom she shared this house?
Once Kate and her mum move, Kate won’t be able to come here any more, so she studies the house, committing it to memory, even though she has no idea where the urge to do this comes from.
Kate watches a couple further down the street, who appear to be arguing, so she doesn’t notice a woman approach her, until she’s right in front of her.