Page 27 of The Last One to See Him

‘Kate, I know you inside out. You don’t have to start again with someone else. And have to explain your past all over again. You know I get it all, and I’ve supported you one hundred per cent.’

A vision of Jamie flashes into her mind. ‘What makes you think I want to start again? I’m happy for it to be just me and Thomas. I don’t need anyone or anything else.’

‘You never have needed anyone, have you? So determined to do it all yourself. But Kate – we all need people to help us get through stuff.’

Kate knows this – as independent as she is, she’s come to rely on Rowan Hess. She doesn’t mention this to Ellis. He knows she has therapy sessions – he’d encouraged it when she’d told him she thought it was time she faced her past – but Kate’s aware that Ellis thinks she shouldn’t still need them after two years.

‘I think you should stop this,’ she says. ‘Stop even entertaining ideas of us. It’s not fair to Maddy. She…she loves you.’

‘And you’re my wife.’

‘Not any more.’ She turns away. ‘Can you just go?’

There’s a long pause, but still she doesn’t turn around to face him.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says eventually. ‘I should never have said all this. I’ll say goodbye to Thomas.’

Kate watches Ellis leave, surprised that she has no tears left to cry.

Later, she sits in Thomas’s room, listening as he talks about his day. Kate lets his words soak in, forcing all other thoughts from her head. ‘Can I go to Dex’s house again?’ he asks. ‘He’s really cool. Even though he’s not that good at football. How about after school on Friday?’

Kate freezes. She’d been hoping that their friendship would fizzle out before having a chance to fully form. ‘But it’s your weekend with me. You’ve been with your dad the last two so it would be nice if we did something together.’

‘I know, but maybe you could come too? You like Dex’s mum, don’t you? Please, Mum?’

Kate won’t leave her son in Harper’s care, and nor does she want to spend any time there. ‘Um, I’ll have to think about it. I was planning some things for us to do. I know I’ve been a bit distracted with work lately.’

‘Please, Mum? It would still be us doing something together.’

‘I suppose I can ask his mum,’ Kate says, praying that they already have plans on Friday.

Thomas’s face brightens. ‘Actually, Dex said it was his mum’s idea and they’re not doing anything on Friday.’

Heat rushes to Kate’s cheeks, burning her skin. ‘You’ve seen a lot of him this week,’ she says. ‘Maybe Dex needs to make some other friends too? Otherwise how will he get to know any other kids?’ Thomas has no shortage of friends; it’s one thing she and Ellis never had to worry about.

Thomas shrugs. ‘Yeah, but I like Dex. I feel bad for him. He lost his dad and he’s new to the school – he must feel a bit lonely.’

‘You’re a kind boy,’ Kate says, smiling, despite the stabbing pains in her stomach.

‘But you will ask his mum, wont’ you? You won’t forget? Dex said she’s getting him a pet gecko. How cool is that? They’re getting him on Thursday after school. So if we go on Friday we can see it. That’s why she said I should go over – so I can see it. They’re calling him Dumbledore – you know, from Harry Potter.’

More lies. Harper made it clear that she doesn’t like pets, so why would she get Dex a gecko? ‘Are you sure they’re getting a pet? You have to feed geckos live insects.’

Thomas squints at her; he knows there’s more to Kate’s questioning – he’s always been able to read her. Because she hasn’t yet found a way to tell him about Graham White, Kate has vowed that she will never lie to Thomas about anything – big or small. Yet now she’s having to keep things from him. To protect him, she reminds herself. One day she will tell him the truth, but she has to know that he’ll be ready to hear it first.

‘Don’t you like Dex?’ Thomas asks.

‘I don’t really know him,’ Kate says. ‘But he seems nice.’

‘His mum’s a bit weird, though, isn’t she?’

‘What makes you say that?’

He shrugs. ‘Dunno. She’s always just…staring at me. And then when I look at her, she turns away and pretends she hasn’t been looking. But I still want to go to their house. It’s not Dex who’s weird.’

‘It’s late,’ she says. ‘Let’s get some sleep and talk about this tomorrow.’

Downstairs in the hallway, Kate tidies away the shoes, coats and bags. She checks Thomas’s school bag, where she always finds notes he’s forgotten to tell her about. A white A5 envelope falls out of his reading book, bearing a printed label with Thomas’s name and class on it.

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