Page 16 of The Last One to See Him

‘I can understand that,’ Kate says. ‘I’m sure having the distraction of school is helping him.’

But Kate has no idea what it’s like when Dexter gets home. The silence that’s becoming too familiar, the nods and grunts that Dexter is using to communicate. The sense of helplessness. And Kate sits there as if she’s had no part in this.

‘That’s what I’ve been telling myself,’ Harper says. ‘And it’s the reason I invited you both here. Dexter’s not the only one who needs some normality. I do too. But I’m sure you know what mum guilt is like – how do we ever know if we’re actually doing the right thing for them? I feel so numb. I’ve only just managed to tidy the house this morning because you and Thomas were coming after school.’

Kate nods. ‘It must be so hard for you,’ she says. ‘I’m separated from my husband now but I can’t imagine what it would feel like if anything happened to him. He’s still very much a part of our lives.’

Harper’s eyes narrow. ‘Yes, hard under any circumstances,’ she says, lifting her mug. ‘But it’s remarkable what devastation humans can live with. What other choice do we have? We just pick ourselves up, or sometimes drag ourselves, and carry on somehow.’

‘You’re right,’ Kate says, smiling as if they’re close friends. ‘And how is Dex doing?’

‘Dexter’s just…Dexter. He’s a remarkable boy, really. His strength has astounded me. But I do worry he’s in shock and the grief is bound to catch up with him.’My own too.

Another thud reverberates upstairs.

‘Sorry about that,’ Harper says. ‘Dexter’s room is just above us.’

‘I hope Thomas isn’t destroying your house.’

‘I’m just happy that Dexter’s found someone to play with. It’s important, isn’t it? Connections with people. Jamie was always saying that.’ She smiles, scrutinising Kate’s face. Mentioning Jamie must surely unnerve her. ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m more of a lone wolf myself. Sometimes I find dealing with people…hard work. Shall we go in the living room?’ she says, standing and tucking her chair in. ‘It’s more comfortable on the sofa. And the boys could be upstairs playing for quite a while.’

Harper leads the way into the large lounge, where the two huge bay windows still don’t have curtains. The walls are dark red – Florentine red, the estate agent had informed them – and filled with family photos, that Harper only put up this morning. She can barely look at them, but notices Kate staring at the largest one in the middle – a wedding day canvas of Harper and Jamie, confetti floating around their heads. Blessing them. Cursing them.

‘That’s Jamie,’ Harper says. ‘He was a special man. That’s why I married him. In it for the long haul, until he was so cruelly taken away.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Kate says. Her skin seems paler since they came into the lounge. Then her eyes seem to fix on the vase of white lilies over the fireplace, and her face drains even more.

Harper wonders what Kate is apologising for. Sleeping with Jamie? What else did she do to him?

‘I can’t even imagine what you’re going through,’ Kate continues. ‘And I know that getting divorced doesn’t mean there isn’t still a special bond there.’

Harper stares at her. ‘Divorced? Oh, no – Jamie and I were very much together. I kept my maiden name because I don’t believe women should have to take their husband’s name. And Jamie didn’t mind Dexter having my surname.’

Kate’s face pales. ‘Sorry, I…I don’t know why I thought you were divorced. I must be thinking of someone else. Work’s been so hectic lately, my mind’s all over the place.’

Silence surrounds them. Is this some game she’s playing or did Kate really believe Jamie was divorced? Either way, Harper can’t underestimate this woman. ‘I can assure you that Jamie and I were very much together. I’m not saying it was perfect – what relationship is? – but Jamie was my…soulmate.’ She bites her lip. ‘I know that’s cringy, but that’s honestly how we felt about each other.’ No one will understand the things that tied them together.

Kate points to the large canvas wedding picture on the wall, effortless smiles stretched across Harper and Jamie’s faces. ‘He clearly felt the same,’ she says, her voice too animated.

Harper glances at the photo, tries to ignore the wrench in her gut. ‘I believe so.’

‘I’m so sorry about what happened. I…I read about it.’

‘I thought you didn’t know?’

Kate hesitates. ‘I didn’t know the man I’d read about was your husband. But I’d read about what happened.’

‘There hasn’t been much written has there?’ Harper says. Kate is tying herself in knots and sooner or later she’ll slip up. ‘Not that newsworthy unless it’s a young woman or child. Who cares about a man in his thirties? Someone who’s not considered vulnerable.’ A single tear snakes down Harper’s cheek.

Reaching into her bag, Kate pulls out a small packet of tissues and hands one to Harper. She almost doesn’t take it – she doesn’t want anything from this woman. ‘I read that he was found in a flat in Richmond,’ Kate says.

Harper nods. She knew it was only a matter of time before Kate would begin to ask questions. Harper will play along for now. ‘Yes. It’s a property we rent out. We were between tenants and had just done up the flat. It needed a lot of work. Jamie sometimes stayed there if he’d been out and didn’t want to disturb us coming home in the middle of the night.’ She dabs her eyes with the tissue. ‘I don’t sleep well. Never have. The slightest noise wakes me and then I’m up for the day. Now, though, I’d give anything to change that night – so that he’d come home instead. He’d still be here, then.’

‘I can’t imagine what life’s been like for you over the last week. I hope the police find who did that to him.’

‘The police have no clues. Nothing was taken. There was no break in, so it must have been someone he’d let in the flat.’ Harper studies Kate’s face. ‘Someone he knew or was expecting. But why would someone target Jamie? There’s no reason for it. He was a good person. He didn’t have enemies.’

When Kate reaches for Harper’s hand, Harper notices her glance at the platinum and diamond wedding band Jamie had given her.

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