Page 10 of The Last One to See Him

‘When the van stopped and the engine cut out, I was ready for him,’ Kate continues, reaching for a tissue. ‘Like some feral creature ready to lash out.’ She dabs her eyes. ‘But he anticipated my move, and he grabbed me by the neck before I could do anything. He dragged me out of the van towards what looked like an abandoned building. I found out later it was an old disused farmhouse. I tried to kick out but it was pointless. No amount of kicking could stop him. I kept asking him what he wanted from me, but he wouldn’t answer. And then…’ Kate stops; the pain of reliving this is overwhelming.

‘You don’t have to tell me any more,’ Rowan says.

‘I want to,’ Kate insists. Now she’s started, she will see this through. ‘He… he kept punching me, and I fell back, smashing onto the ground. But somehow I managed to kick out again, and then then I scrambled to my feet and ran. He ran after me, but I rammed my body into him and he flew backwards. He shrieked when he hit the ground. I carried on running, expecting him to follow, but he didn’t.’ Kate stares at the grey carpet. ‘There was only silence. I was torn between wanting to run and needing to check him. I don’t know how long I stood there, but eventually I went back to him. That’s when I saw the huge pool of blood under his head. He was dead. And I was the one who killed him.’

FOUR

FRIDAY 24 JANUARY

Rowan pours Kate a glass of water. Her hand trembles as she takes it, and she hopes he doesn’t notice. He observes everything, though – that’s his job. She gulps it so fast it hurts her throat.

‘Kate – you did what you had to do to stop him. You were a child. I know it still haunts you but that’s in the past.’

‘Graham White will never be in the past,’ Kate says. ‘He’s made me the person I am today, don’t you see that? Everything in my life has been determined by what happened.’

Rowan bites his lip. She’s offended him with her acerbic tone and she needs to rein it in. She can’t turn him against her, not when he’s the one person who can help her.

‘I mistrust everyone because of him. I’ve put up barriers to protect myself that stop me living my life fully. That man might be dead, but he’s won. He broke me.’

‘Remember what I told you before? Focus on the good in your life. You have a wonderful son. A career you’ve worked hard for. Don’t lose sight of that.’ Rowan pauses. ‘Can I tell you what I think?’

‘Yes. Please do.’

‘I think your guilt over what happened when you were fifteen has carried over to this night you spent with this married man. And now that he’s dead, it’s exacerbated your feelings of guilt. But you had nothing to do with this man’s death. It was just terribly unfortunate.’

‘Graham White’s death was different, though,’ Kate says. ‘I killed him.’ And she hasn’t told Rowan that she found Jamie dead. He would never believe that she had nothing to do with it.

‘In self-defence. You didn’t know he’d die. You were just trying to get away from him.’

This doesn’t matter to Kate. She has become the person people think she is, the label they have foisted upon her. And the reality of what happened when she was fifteen doesn’t stop the nightmares. Or the devastating pain that has been stirred up again because she found Jamie Archer’s body. Is it just paranoia, or is he, too, dead because of her?

‘And you were never charged with Graham White’s death,’ Rowan continues. ‘As far as the police were concerned, there was no crime. Can we get back to why you think you’re in danger?’

He won’t say this, but he knows Kate is holding back. Perhaps he doesn’t truly want to know any more gritty details of her life. ‘Shall we talk about this woman?’ He leans forward, again. It’s starting to annoy her that he always does this. ‘Do you need to call the police?’ he says.

‘No!Not the police. Not after last time. I can’t…I can’t deal with that. The interrogation. No. I can’t go back there.’

Rowan sighs. ‘This isn’t like last time,’ he assures her. ‘You haven’t done anything. You won’t be in any trouble.’

But he has no idea. And I can’t tell him because he’d be legally obliged to inform the police that I’m a witness in Jamie Archer’s murder.

‘I slept with a stranger,’ Kate says.

‘I think you know that’s not a crime.’

She places her glass on the table by her chair.

‘Kate. I really think you should tell me about this woman. It’s understandable you’d worry she’s upset about you and her ex, but why do you think she wants to kill you?’

Kate takes a deep breath and begins.

THREE DAYS AGO, TUESDAY 21 JANUARY

Kate is early picking up Thomas. It had been quiet at the surgery so David had ushered her out, assuring her he’d cover on his own. She’d been reluctant to leave – she’s been avoiding Aleena at the school gates all week because it’s an easier pill to swallow than lying to her closest friend about what happened after she left the bar on Friday night. Kate’s already done enough of that – Aleena knows nothing of her past with Graham White – and now she’s somehow involved in another death.Jamie Archer.

She’s tried to search for a connection between the two men, but there’s nothing online. Jamie isn’t some relative of Graham’s – distant or otherwise. Kate stops and sits on a low wall outside the Sainsbury’s Local near the school, and googles Graham White again. She again pores over articles written at the time, even though she doesn’t need to – she knows every detail of Graham White’s life – thirty-nine years old when he died – only two years older than she is now. A partner called Jennifer Seagrove, who’d left him the day before he’d thrown Kate in the van and abducted her. At the time, police concluded that the end of his relationship had sent him spiralling out of control, and that he’d seen Kate walking home and full of rage had acted impulsively. There’d been nothing in the van to suggest premeditation. There is no excuse for what he did to Kate – for what he would have done to her. The man was sick in the head. Kate stares at the photo of Jennifer, smiling for the camera, her head resting on Graham White’s shoulder. How can a man who looks so innocent, so in love with his partner, have been such a monster?

Jennifer shut down after talking to the police, refusing to speak about Graham, insisting their relationship was over so it was nothing to do with her. Kate always wondered why this didn’t strike people as odd; Jennifer and Graham White had been together for three years and then suddenly she cut him off and never looked back, even when he died.

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