Page 93 of Modern Romance March 2025 (5-8)

I raise my chin. I lived years like this. Always watching, waiting for a sign that I was going to do something to upset my mother, to make my father turn away. Always anticipating, always on edge.

No more. If Rafe is upset that I drew some sketches, then he can go jump in the sea.

I open the sketch pad and hand it to Rafe.

“I worked late last night. Sometimes reading calms me, but other times it’s sketching.”

He examines the pages, taking what seems like a ridiculously long amount of time evaluating each design. His fingers glide over the pages, moving with that same slowness that I once chalked up as methodical.

But now, with the memory of how he used those fingers on my body yesterday, I no longer see the movements as efficient. No, it’s sensual, the way they move over the paper, lingering, grazing.

I bite my lower lip. God help me, if one session of heavy touching can reduce me to this, what will the actual event do?

“These are good.”

I blink in surprise as I try to hold back a smile. Try not to let him see how much the simple compliment warms me.

“I’m glad you like them.” I lace my fingers together. “I wasn’t trying to invade your privacy. I just saw the rooms and—”

“I’m not accusing you. As you are aware, my relationship with Lucifer was not a pleasant one. And as I said at dinner, I should have handled my response better.”

“Thank you.” I hesitate, then decide to take the plunge. “I could have handled my response to your feedback on my business better, too.” I swallow my pride. “If you have time, I do have a couple questions. Structuring a business as it’s growing. Don’t look so smug,” I snap as he looks at me with a distinctly masculine gleam of triumph in his eyes.

“Are you saying I was right?”

“No, I’m saying I have questions.”

“I’m good at what I do, Tessa.”

“I know. My reticence has nothing to do with you. It’s…me. I let my parents, especially my mom, rule my life for so long.”

“And you’re afraid that if you ask for help, you’ll be falling back into an old pattern.”

A tightness I didn’t even realize I have been carrying slowly eases from my chest. “For someone who says he doesn’t do emotions, you’re very perceptive.”

“Psychology is a science. One made up of research, data, statistics. Patterns. I can understand those. Plus,” he says as he watches a gull fly up high in the sky before diving back down toward the water, “without being able to observe and make my own conclusions about how people are thinking or feeling, especially going into a deal, I would not be effective at what I do.”

It’s incredible how he rationalizes everything down to science, to numbers. But I know that there’s far more to this man than he lets himself or anyone else believe.

“You’ve accomplished more than you are giving yourself credit for, Tessa.”

Just like that, he turns it back on me. I swallow hard. “It doesn’t feel like enough.”

“You’ve been on your own for four months.”

“And ever since I was seven years old, I’ve lived someone else’s life. Not my own. It feels like I’ve wasted the last twenty-one years.”

“Stop.” He’s looking at me now, his expression firm. “The work you’re accomplishing now, what you’ve done, is because of the experiences you’ve had the past twenty-one years. Not to mention that for eleven of those, you were a child.”

“But—”

“But nothing, Tessa.” His eyes are hard, glinting with an inner resolve that makes me grateful I’ve never been on the receiving end of his true fury. “Parents make mistakes. They fail. Your mother’s obsession with keeping you safe to the point of isolating you from the outside world is a reflection of her, not you.”

I stare at him. I want to ask. Want to know just what Lucifer did to him that turned him into a man who sees so much yet keeps everyone at arm’s length. Who insists he has no soul even as he reaches deep into mine with his perception, his caring.

“Don’t dwell on the past,” he says quietly. “Move forward.”

My breath comes out in a rush. “All right. Let’s start with questions. Work our way up to having you take a look at my business structure and plan.”

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