Page 84 of Vows Forged in Blood

“What’s wrong?”

She chews on her lip. “Do you think…well, do you think it’s possible to not feel that kind of passion for someone and still ever be in love with them?” I give her a look that tells her to go ahead and give up the pretenses. She exhales roughly. “I feel nothing like that with Leland. He’s sweet and kind and he tries to be funny, though gods bless his heart, he fails miserably, but…there’s no fire, Lia. Nothing evencloseto approaching fire. Barely a smoldering ember on the very best of days.” She buries her face in her hands and confesses, “but every time I see Elias, I feel as if my entire body is burning with need for him.”

“Well, he is obscenely attractive,” I agree.

She drops her hands and looks at me. “It’s more than that. When I’m around him, I feel…content, in ways I never even knew I could feel. He makes me smile and laugh, and every time he doeshelights up, as if coaxing joy from me brings him infinitely more of it. He listens when I talk,reallylistens and asks me questions no one else has ever thought to. I feel like Ican talk to him for hours and hours and he’ll never get bored of it. I can’t explain it without sounding crazy. Ifeellike I’m crazy but…” She trails off and shakes her head. “I just think that perhaps I’ve been trying to force myself to feel things for Leland because…well, I was lonely after you left,” she says sheepishly. “I know, I know. That’s a terrible reason to agree to marry someone, but here we are.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I just feel like I’m connected to Elias, like I’ve always been connected to him even though I’ve only known him a few days. It makes no sense.”

I know all too well what she means and wonder what the hells it is about the Clayburn blood that seems to defy the laws of matehood as we know them. Whatever it is, I know that I’m thankful for it and while Enid is still free to make her own choice, I know that no one on this earth will protect my sister the way Elias will, the way the whole of the army will protect and accept her as one of their own if she so chooses.

But if she does choose to be with Elias, she’ll be faced with the same dilemma as I am: being human with a ticking clock counting down the moments of our mortal lives. I shake myself, not wanting to go down that road in my mind yet again.

“It makes more sense than you might think,” I murmur. She eyes me but I wave her off and she thankfully allows it. We spend the next hour talking and I answer the hundreds of questions Enid has about my relationship with Alaric. It’s so nice being like this with her again, to have someone that I can talk to in a way I can’t with anyone else. I know that my heart will break a little again when we all leave to go back to our real lives.

But for now, I enjoy every moment with my sister.

All too soon,we’re back at the camp. I miss my family already, but Alaric has promised that he’ll arrange for visits to Ashcliff or have Enid and da come to the village near the camp as often as I’d like. Judging by the way Enid couldn’t keep her eyes from Elias, I have a feeling that she will be all too happy to visit sooner rather than later. She claims nothing happened between them save a mostly-innocent kiss that last night before we all departed, but with the way she blushed and wouldn’t fully meet my eyes, and the way Elias couldn’t stop grinning like a lunatic, I know it’s complete and utter bullshite. I know that Enid is honorable to her core and wouldn’t want to do anything with Elias before breaking things off with Leland, but at the same time, I know just how hard it is to fight those feelings and how easy it is to give into temptation. I’ll demand all the details soon enough.

We fall back into the normal rhythms of camp with Alaric being the High General and me being his…whatever I am. I don’t believe there’s been an official announcement that I’m his mate or anything, but I know that news spreads through the camp faster than wildfire, so I’m sure that anyone who wasn’t at the battle must surely know by now. I wonder what they think about it. Is it shameful that their High General’s mate is a feeble human? Are they simply just happy that he’s found me at all with mates being so rare?

About two weeks after arriving back at camp, Alaric left to go on a scouting mission. Being apart, even for these few days, had been like torture. I know we must both learn to bear it, but my gods I hated every second of it. The only good thing about it was that I was free to go to the village again after all this time—with my guard plus another contingent of fifteen vampires hand-picked by Viktor of course. It was so nice being back, almost like coming home again. I was happy to see that Master Raynor seemed to be doing much better now that he’s been able to get his medication regularly without problem. I made sure to put some extra coin in the apothecary’s pocket as a thank you and he assured me that everything was going well with our arrangement. No one in the village was going without what they needed now and I couldn’t have been happier.

A week later, I came down with a bad cough and could barely get out of bed for days on end. The healers came and everything turned out alright, but it reminded me all over again at the position we’re in. I’m human. I’m fragile. I’m dying. Every single day I’m closer to death.

I’ve tried to bring it up more than once, but Alaric always manages to know what I’m about to say and distracts me in deliciously wicked ways. But now, I stare at the faint pink line on my palm where I’d sliced through it this morning while I was working in the shop with Braddock. Alaric had healed it as soon as he’d heard, of course, but it’s yet another reminder.

“What is it, Keeva?” he asks softly, coming up behind me at the window and kissing my neck. I give a mmm of appreciation and reach back to run my fingers through his hair.

“I was just wishing we had a balcony…” I smile when I hear him groan against my throat. Alaric had taken me on the balcony of our tower at Ashcliff more than once, bending me over the railing and pounding into me so hard that my screams were lost to the roar of the sea below, and I still dream about it. So, I’m only half lying.

I turn from the window and wrap my arms around him, reaching up to brush a fleck of snow from his hair with a laugh. True winter is here now and it's just as beautiful as mum always said it was. I feel a connection to her every time I walk throughthe white fields around the camp, every time I sit in front of the fire and watch the flakes drift down through the window. I can see the beauty the way she did, and feel like I understand her a bit better now somehow.

I settle my hand on his cheek, searching his eyes. I know he doesn’t want to discuss it, but I can’t wait any longer. I won’t let him distract me this time—which is why I’m waiting for him fully dressed instead of naked in our bed like usual. I take a settling breath and he tenses. I can feel the knot in my chest tighten through our bond.

“Alaric, we need to talk about this.”

He knows exactly whatthisI mean and his expression immediately turns dark and closed off. He steps away from me and strides across the room, pouring himself some whisky. He seems to know better than to try to distract me with sex this time and I prepare myself to have it out. We’ve never really fought. Argued here and there but it usually dissolves quickly enough, but I have a feeling this will be different. But I won’t back down. This is important.

So, if this means a fight, then I’m ready. Da and Enid are on their way to the village right now for a visit. I can go stay there with them for a few days,reallystorm off and let him know how serious I am about this.

“There is nothing to discuss, Dahlia.”

“That’s ridiculous. There’s plenty to discuss.”

He turns and leans against the sideboard. “No, there isn’t,” he says again, voice carefully calm. “You will not be turned.” He takes a long drink, eyeing me over the rim of his glass. I stare at him, incredulous. He’s alreadydecided? I knew he didn’t want to talk about it because there is no easy answer, but to have him not even consider the option? To not even consider whatImight want? My blood starts to boil, my hackles raising.

“And you get to make this decision on your own then?”

“I do.”

“How can you say that?” I sputter. “This affectsbothof us, Alaric. This ismylife too.”

“And you will have a long, mortal one. I will be by your side for every second of it and when it is over, I will join you in whatever comes after this, but I will not risk the turning.”

“You don’t want a chance at forever with me?? You’ll settle for fifty, maybe sixty years as long as I don’t get sick or attacked by Revenants, or run over by a carriage?” I shout, trying and failing to keep my temper in check. This has all been building for too long, the what-ifs and the possibilities festering in my mind for months.

“You. Will. Be. Safe,” he growls. “And I would rather have that time than risk the turning and lose you tomorrow!”

“But what if it works!? What if I can be with you forever, be as strong as you and even safer than I am now?”

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