"Yes, sir." Elias turns to me, looking more serious this time. "I'll watch over him, my Lady."

I nod, trying to keep the panic from rising in my chest and the tears from springing to my eyes. I know that Alaric must do this. I know that he wouldn't have it any other way, and really, I wouldn’t either. I know how much he loves what he does, this calling he answered so long ago. It makes him happy to put himself between evil and the safety of everyone within the kingdom.

But even so, I can't stop the fear from turning my blood to ice and making it nearly impossible to breathe. As soon as Elias closes the door, Alaric is there, wrapping me in his arms.

"I'm sorry, I must go."

"I know," I assure him. He kisses me softly and I rest my palms on his cheek when he pulls back. "I know," I tell him again making sure he knows that I understand.

"I hate to leave you."

"Make sure you come back then," I whisper, leaning in to kiss him again.

"I swear to you," he says sternly, almost as if he's not just saying it to me but daring the gods themselves to try to stop him. He kisses me fiercely, and I try not to think of it as a gallows kiss. He picks me up and carries me to his bed chamber, tossing me on the bed and making me laugh. I wrap my arms around my knees and rest my chin there and watch as he dons his fighting leathers and a thick coat lined with fur, and straps Night’s Fury to his back.

"No armor?" I ask. I know his armor is specially made and nearly impenetrable.

"Not on the journey to our temporary camp. A squire will pack it for me though, not to worry." I nod and all too soon, there isn't anything left for him to do. We walk hand-in-hand from his room, and I marvel at how nice something so mundane is. Simply walking with the man I love, his hand in mine, is something I never imagined I'd get to do. I want so badly to go with him, though I know how ridiculous that is.

"Oh! Wait here." His brows fly upward but I hold up one finger and he nods, silently promising to obey. I sprint down the hall to my room and rummage through my wardrobe.

"Where the hells…ah there!" I hold up my prize, smiling widely. I decide to take an extra minute to put on a new shirt andtame my wild hair before running back to Alaric. He looks me up and down when I arrive.

"Was my sweater not good enough for you?"

"I thought that was sure to get the soldier gossip mill running full steam ahead, your highness," I say with a roll of my eyes and he laughs. "Here, this is for you." I reach up and pin the wolf's head broach I bought all those months ago at the market to the lapel of his coat. He studies it and then looks back to me.

"When did you get this?"

"An embarrassingly long time ago, actually, but that isn't important." His lips curl. "Wear it for me." I can't find the words to explain that I want something of me there with him (other than my blood that he's going to take), to protect him. My father's people used to wear strips of their lover's family clan colors woven in their braids when they rode off to battle, like a talisman to keep them protected when they were far from home. This will have to do.

"I will," he says solemnly before pulling me into another slow, deep kiss. He's trying to tell me things with this kiss that he can't say in words, at least not yet. I kiss him back, echoing his feelings. I could tell him that I'm in love with him now, but I don't want to do that. I don’t want it to be a declaration as he rides off to face death. I want it to be something that's said without a blade hanging over either of our heads—hopefully a metaphorical blade, of course. Again, fear crawls through my veins, but I try to push it away and put on a brave face as da would say.

Alaric pulls away and sighs. "I must go."

I nod and walk him to the door. Takara walks up as soon as Alaric walks away, taking Xanthus' reins from a squire and pulling himself easily atop the giant horse. I would swear that the animal meets my eyes and bows his head, promising me that he'll protect his master, the man we both love. Alaric meets mygaze once more, inclines his head, and then rides towards the gates to meet the gathering cadre.

I exhale roughly and Takara reaches down to grip my hand. I squeeze it back and the two of us stand on the steps of the cabin for what feels like hours, until the very last of the soldiers ride through the gates and disappears from sight.

Chapter 32

ALARIC

Riding away from camp has never been harder. It feels as if a piece of me is being ripped away, like I'm leaving a vital piece of myself behind. My heart. That's what I'm leaving back at camp as I ride to battle, to possible death. My fucking heart.

But I know it must be done. I will return from this battle as I've always returned. I have something far too precious to return to now and I will not lose that when we haven't even started yet. I haven't even told her how I feel, I haven't even told her that she's mine.

Elias rides beside me, giving me the rundown on our men, where the advanced group has made camp, and the latest update from the scouts.

"So…" he says after we've taken care of business for the time being. I quirk a brow and he rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Come on, Alaric. Did you tell her?"

"Not yet," I admit, glancing around to be sure no one is listening. "We were rudely interrupted, if you do recall," I remind him when he looks about to berate me. He is of the mind that I should tell Dahlia that she's my mate immediately,and while I do want her to know, I want us to explore this thing between us more before I tell her. I don't want there to be any pressures or questions as to my feelings or hers. I want her to understand that I love her, regardless of the mating bond.

"Did you at least tell her you love her then?" I rub the back of my neck and he shakes his head. "I wish I had something to throw at you right now. Why not, you daft idiot!?"

"I don't know if you are aware, but Iamyour High General and a prince to boot…maybe you shouldn't insult me?" He waves that away, scoffing, and I laugh. Then I sigh. "I didn't want to tell her when I was riding off to battle, like I was only saying it because I might die."

"Gods, you're bad at this, you know that?"